Thanks For Visiting America! By The Way, You’re No Longer A Goddess

Sajani Shakya is pretty much your average 10-year-old Nepalese girl.

Well, except that up until recently, she was venerated by both Hindus and Buddhists in Nepal as a Kumari Devi, or ”living goddess”.

Sajani was one of the latest in a very long line of Nepalese girls considered to be an incarnation of the Hindu goddess Durga. Normally Durga is all fierce, riding a lion and kicking demon ass with her 10 arms, but camping out in a little Nepalese girl keeps Durga’s energy in check and keeps it on the “creation” side of things. The Kumari Devi is also the patron of Nepal’s monarchy, bestowing blessings upon the king.

Being chosen as a Kumari Devi is quite an elaborate procedure. The right girl has to match 32 “attributes of perfection,” ranging from eye color to the shape of her teeth. Apparently ancient Hindu goddesses use a procedure similar to eHarmony. Then the potential Kumari Devis are put in a dark room where dancers in demon masks attempt to scare them, since a true incarnation of a goddess who, among other things, kicks demon ass shouldn’t be scared by jazz hands.

However, it’s a lot easier to stop being a Kumari Devi. Traditionally, it’s the onset of puberty that signifies the goddess Durga leaving for a new incarnation in some other Nepalese girl, but even sustaining a scratch that’s deep enough to bleed can cut short a Kumari Devi’s reign.

Sajani Shakya, however, lost her goddess status for other, less blood-based, reasons.

Was it because she blessed Nepal’s king during a decade-long civil war? Maybe it’s because Nepal’s entire monarchy might soon be abolished?

Nope, it’s because she set foot in the United States on a goodwill tour related to an upcoming documentary about both Kumari Devis and Nepal’s civil war. While there are a bunch of Kumari Devis living in various cities and towns in Nepal, Sajani was considered one of the major ones, and thus wasn’t really supposed to leave Nepal.

Sajani’s US tour was enough to anger temple elders in her town of Bhaktapur, who declared that setting foot on American soil had tainted her purity. It’s like they’ve heard of Britney Spears or something.

So now the newly de-goddessed Sajani returns to her life as a normal 10-year-old Nepalese girl (albeit with a government pension), and I’m hoping America, having caused Sajani to lose her divinity, can learn something from this.

Like, why doesn’t Jesus grow eight more arms and ride around on a lion, kicking demon ass?