As a nation we are practically forcing Bush and Cheney to attack Iran because of our relentless dislike of the administration. If we liked them they might actually listen to us, but we don’t, so they won’t. Bush and Cheney both know that if they build up false reasons to attack Iran, then follow through; Bush will get a bump in the polls. That is how America works.

Currently all signs point to an attack on Iran. First of all, there is a man named Dick Cheney who seems to be completely insane. His idea of diplomacy is to find out where you live, drive over to your house and anally rape you. Harpers has given us a delightful list of conclusions Cheney has already reached regarding Iran.

The administration is currently preparing for a war with Iran. Right now the US has two carrier strike groups in the Persian Gulf. In a day or two they will be joined by a third carrier strike group, then next week, a fourth carrier strike group will arrive. Which means, in the Red Sea we will have…

Ah, the invasion of Iraq. How did that turn out?

As far as land preparations, no one knows. But we do know that before Rumsfeld (neo-con) left office, he developed bases in countries surrounding Iran. We can now attack Iran from every direction from "lilypads."

Next up, the hostages. Yes, the hostages. The US has been holding 5 Iranian diplomats hostage since January. They were invited into Iraq by the Iraqi government, and then the US stormed their compound and seized them. The Irbil five are said to be members of the elite Quds Force, an arm of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard. Recently Condoleezza Rice attempted to have the men released, but Cheney put a stop to her reasonable nonsense.

In response, neo-cons claim Iran began taking “hostages.” The information is not easy to find, unless you go to neo-con sites like The Heritage Foundation.

Neo-cons claim Iran has taken four hostages of dual citizenship, and possibly a fifth. The fifth hostage is a little murky because some believe the ex-FBI agent converted to Islam and moved to an island off Iran. Expect the “hostage crisis” to be ramped up on Fox News and in the pages of the Wall Street Journal.

Here is a video of Norman Podhoretz making the case for attacking Iran. Seem eerily familiar? The build up to Iraq, maybe?



Iran will also be labeled as the big problem in the Middle East. This will, of course, distract from the fact that the US is the biggest problem in the Middle East, with all of our invading and whatnot. Iran will be accused of stirring up animosity throughout the region and spreading their ideology. The fact that this is exactly what the US is doing will be largely ignored. The accusation that Iran is arming militias in Iraq and Afghanistan will be heard ad nauseam. How dare they get involved while their enemy attempts to secure the countries on their Eastern and Western borders! Overall, the case will be made that Iran is becoming too powerful in the Middle East, the place where the country resides – and we do not.

And don’t forget Iran’s nuclear program. Yawn. Of course Iran is pursuing nuclear energy. How else could they possibly stop the US from invading? Iraq was not pursuing nuclear weapons but the case was made that they were, meanwhile North Korea was pursuing nuclear weapons and was left alone. Not hard to figure out which path to follow if you are an enemy of the US. The international estimate of when Iran will get nuclear weapons is longer that the Cheney estimate. Who has a history of being correct when it comes to weapons of mass destruction? I’ll give you a hint: The correct party is not insane.

No one seems to ever talk about the fact that Iran will never use nuclear weapons. They would be immediately wiped off the map. It would be suicide and people in power are not big on suicide. The rulers of Iran, no matter how religious they are, are living a life of luxury and will not give it up anytime soon. Sanctions worked against Iraq and they will work against Iran as well. Oh, and Iran does not have a missile capable of reaching Europe or the US, which sort of diminishes the threat. But by the end of the year America should be scared shitless about Iran’s future nuclear attack on the most powerful country on the planet.

Enjoy the war!