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  • MONDAY JUNE 18 2007 11:00 PM

Get Ready to Die in a Mall

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by FearTheReaper

Tags: Suicide Bombers, Pakistan, US, Europe.



Why go to Israel, when Israel is coming to us? According to ABC news, teams of suicide bombers are on their way to the US to kill poor, little, innocent Americans. They are also being sent to some place called “Europe.”

Teams assigned to carry out attacks in the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Germany were introduced at an al Qaeda/Taliban training camp graduation ceremony held June 9.


Yay! Graduation! It always feels great to accomplish something. A Pakistani reporter attended the graduation and took pictures of around 300 future suicide bombers, some who were “as young as 12.” After they got their diplomas, they were sent out on their missions. The ones going to England spoke English.

"So let me say something about why we are going, along with my team, for a suicide attack in Britain," he said. "Whether my colleagues, companions and Muslim brothers die today or tonight, every drop of our blood will invigorate the Muslim (unintelligible)."


I’m going to assume the unintelligible word was “pants.” US intelligence tried to write if off as propaganda but former White House counterterrorism official (who warned the Bush administration about al-Qaeda in 2000) believes the threat is credible.

"It doesn't take too many who are willing to actually do it and be able to slip through the net and get into the United States or England and cause a lot of damage.”


But, but, I thought the president said, “we were fighting them there so they wouldn’t kill us here.” No, sorry, saying that actually just encourages them to kill us here to prove him wrong. He's a fucking idiot who talks out of his asshole.

Better get those shoes at Foot Locker while you can!

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Comments
baby_squid

baby_squid

Hillsboro, OH
February 2007

JUN 18, 2007 11:03 PM

ugh...that's really all i can say.

that and:

here we go again whatever

lawber

lawber

I'm lost
May 2006

JUN 18, 2007 11:10 PM

strangebeastie

strangebeastie

Oceanside, CA
September 2004

JUN 18, 2007 11:16 PM

We should stop and think about this. What will these promising young men's futures look like if the USA decides to be a bunch of inconsiderate bigots again and enforce their border control laws effectively? Sure, they'll still be able to make it in, but at such a waste of money and time! Don't build the wall! Give everybody a chance!

Rafi

Rafi

Santa Monica, CA
January 2003

JUN 18, 2007 11:23 PM

lawber said:
http://www.terrorismawareness.org/know-about-jihad/



zomg!!!!1! terrorists want to kill us! I had no idea!!

Shal

Shal

Los Angeles, CA
October 2002

JUN 18, 2007 11:32 PM

strangebeastie said:
We should stop and think about this. What will these promising young men's futures look like if the USA decides to be a bunch of inconsiderate bigots again and enforce their border control laws effectively? Sure, they'll still be able to make it in, but at such a waste of money and time! Don't build the wall! Give everybody a chance!



How many terrorists who have attacked US targets on US soil in the past 25 years crossed the Mexican border, where the wall is being built, or were Mexican? (Hint: NONE OF THEM)

How many 9/11 terrorists had legal visas issued by the U.S. State Department? (Hint: ALL OF THEM)

Think carefully now... where would money better be spent -- on walls along the Mexican border, or on adequate training and staffing in places like the State Department?

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUN 18, 2007 11:37 PM

Shalome said:
Think carefully now...



This may be asking too much.

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

JUN 18, 2007 11:40 PM

This is not the zombie apocalypse story I was hoping for.

In other news, Shalome's right again.

OctEgon

OctEgon

Tustin, CA
July 2005

JUN 18, 2007 11:42 PM

If I shop on-line, they won't come to my house, will they?

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

JUN 18, 2007 11:47 PM

Shalome said:
Think carefully now... where would money better be spent -- on walls along the Mexican border, or on adequate training and staffing in places like the State Department?



pffft! sputter!

look here missy, the 'browning out' of our great nation is just as much of a threat to our way of life and essential bodily fluid as a few mamby pambys with bombs. at most, a couple hundred liberal elites will be sacrificed, but at least our nation will be secure from the real threat!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

[/ewwwww that felt gross to type.]

Jamwise

Jamwise

Australia
April 2006

JUN 18, 2007 11:48 PM

I'm disappointed. I thought this was gonna be about Kevin Smith's long joked about Mallrats 2: Die-Hard in a Mall. whatever

JunkyardAngel

JunkyardAngel

San Gabriel, CA
February 2006

JUN 19, 2007 12:11 AM

OctEgon said:
If I shop on-line, they won't come to my house, will they?



Probably not, but they may send little terrorist virii to your computer.


Aaron_Lariviere

Aaron_Lariviere

Los Angeles, CA
May 2007

JUN 19, 2007 12:14 AM

OctEgon said:
If I shop on-line, they won't come to my house, will they?



The day they bomb Amazon.com is the day the terrorist have truly won. My Prime membership will be for naught!

redconsensus

redconsensus

Baltimore, MD
August 2004

JUN 19, 2007 12:15 AM

JunkyardAngel said:

OctEgon said:
If I shop on-line, they won't come to my house, will they?



Probably not, but they may send little terrorist virii to your computer.




Buy a mac.

BloodMoney

BloodMoney

Bakersfield, CA
December 2006

JUN 19, 2007 12:28 AM

Woops

Trahern

Trahern

United Kingdom
March 2003

JUN 19, 2007 12:58 AM

The questionable effectiveness of western counter-terrorism reminds me of British soldiers in WWI walking slowly towards an enemy armed with machine guns. It gets me thinking that whichever side of a conflict is better off, is the one that finds it more difficult to adapt to enemy strategy...

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