Old people are using the interweb in a pathetic attempt to sway young folks into liking them. These old people are known as “presidential candidates” and the things they are putting up on U Tube are so lame and occasionally disturbing that I don’t quite know what to do with myself.

A few of the candidates understand the power of this “series of tubes” that young people have come to love. The smart ones are prudent in what they put up on U Tube. Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani and Barack Obama are three who seem to understand how to use the interwebs. But those candidates who don’t get it have really come up with some bad shit.

Take John Edwards. His U Tube page is full of a lot of information and speeches to let you know where he stands. But right there in the middle of his campaign-approved videos is this tremendous turd.


What the fuck was that? What did it mean? And why did it happen? Why was Edwards’ wife talking at the end? The only piece of information I walked away with is that political campaigns should not attempt comedy. Here’s what happens when they do:


Ha ha. I laughed so hard that my ass almost came out of my face. Tancredo, you are a nut! I totally want to vote for you now.

It seems as if candidates do not know that when they put this crap up on the interweb, that it will live forever. Some of the videos have so little meaning that they are bewildering. Take Mike Gavel, the Democrats answer to crazy Ron Paul. He put this gem out yesterday. I dare you to tell me what is happening.


Wow. That should have been called “Two Minutes of Creepy.” Creepy is not a great quality to get people to vote for you. His press secretary explained what was going on there.

Bad idea. You know what I don't look for in a presidential candidate? Shiitty symbolism.

Good luck with the campaign. And your paintings, hippy.

Chris Dodd also decided to go with the powerful message of silence. Here is a video that should be called “Pointless.”


How could all the young kids who watch the U Tube not be into that? It is fucking mesmerizing because it's real life.

And check out Mitt Romney, he’s almost human!


“It’s fun being eight.” It’s also fun being a robot, I guess. Thank for making me feel weird, Mitt. My favorite Mitt video is this one where he tries to explain how he has switched positions on abortion. Rather than talk to camera, he used the old “fake phone call” method. It’s great because you can see his beady little eyeballs reading the script while he babbles.



We’ve got a long road ahead and I’m sure many more videos coming.