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  • TUESDAY JUNE 5 2007 9:00 AM

How To Make Bush Look Good

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Arkansas, Bush, Terrorism, Idiot



It is a difficult prospect to wrap your brain around. How could Bush possibly look like a good president ever again? The answer is simple. It has been sitting right in front of us the entire time. Dennis Milligan, the new chairman of the Arkansas Republican Party, broke it down.

He said he’s “150 percent” behind Bush on the war in Iraq.

“At the end of the day, I believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001 ], and the naysayers will come around very quickly to appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country,” Milligan said.


Um, wait. Doesn’t that mean Bush would have failed? Give me a minute for me to figure this out. So, you’re saying that if terrorists kill people in the US, then we should thank our lucky asses that Bush was in office? But Bush said he was fighting them over there so that they don’t kill us here. And what about the dead people? Should they be mad at Clinton?

I’m going to create a scenario here in hopes of wrapping my brain around this. Okay, I’m a guy living in Bend, Indiana. I work at Dunkin’ Donuts. Two kids. I complain to all the guys at the bar about my wife but I love her dearly because I have low self-worth and don’t think anyone else would take me. We are both fat.

I originally supported Bush because he looked good on the news and he said he was going to get those fuckers who attacked our towers. They attacked America, even though it was the part full of queers and Jews, I was still pretty pissed. So we invaded Afghanistan because they attacked us. Then we invaded Iraq because they attacked us. But then we started losing and I got bummed out. We’re supposed to win! And fast, like a couple of weeks. Bing, bang, in - out. That's how war is now. I don’t like losing. Now I don’t like Bush. But at least he kept them terrorists from killing anyone here. I still don’t think he’s a good president, though.

BOOM! Holy shit! They blew up the Staples Center in Los Angeles. I’m pissed, even though it was full of queers and Jews. Bush just came on the TV and said he was going to get those fuckers! Hell, yes, he is. And I support him fully. As a matter of fact, I was wrong about not supporting Bush and now I…

believe fully the president is doing the right thing, and I…appreciate not only the commitment for President Bush, but the sacrifice that has been made by men and women to protect this country.


Sometimes I put three dot in, like this...when I talk. I don’t know why I do that. Anyway, when the fuck is the greatest president ever going to bomb Iran?

Oh. That does work.

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Comments
stigmatamartyr13

stigmatamartyr13

Indianapolis, IN
February 2007

JUN 05, 2007 09:07 AM

wow. where do all of these assholes come from? are they farmed like pod-people or what?

Honorless1

Honorless1

Denver, CO
November 2006

JUN 05, 2007 09:32 AM

Fun Fact #1: Regardless of whether there are any more terrorist attacks on American soil while Bush is in office, he will be remembered as the single WORST President in the history of this country, at least to date. And this is where I find my solace.

geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

JUN 05, 2007 09:44 AM

Some people are certain that the Bushies knew in advance of 9/11 and let it happen so as to give themselves a blank check on any and all matters of "national security." I'm not sure they're entirely wrong.

So when I hear some Republican pod-person say, "all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001 ], and the naysayers will come around very quickly..." I get very scared.

Look past all the daily election polls and candidate debates and you'll notice we've still got another year-and-a-half before Bush leaves office. 18 months. An awful lot of nasty shit can go down in 18 months. And the man might just be crazy-stupid enough to believe that another attack at home would elevate him in the polls and somehow save his worst-ever presidency.




RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUN 05, 2007 10:22 AM


I'm going to create a scenario here in hopes of wrapping my brain around this. Okay, I'm a guy living in Bend, Indiana. I work at Dunkin' Donuts. Two kids. I complain to all the guys at the bar about my wife but I love her dearly because I have low self-worth and don't think anyone else would take me. We are both fat.



ahahahaha!

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUN 05, 2007 10:31 AM

geo35 said:
Some people are certain that the Bushies knew in advance of 9/11 and let it happen so as to give themselves a blank check on any and all matters of "national security." I'm not sure they're entirely wrong.


For myself, I have no patience with conspiracy theories. I should think that the Iraq War alone, both in contemplation and execution, would adequately demonstrate the utter incompetence of this administration in intelligence matters.

Some people just seem to think that arrogance and stupidity alone are not "bad" enough, somehow, even though most of the world's problems directly result from such garden-variety failings, rather than from some existential malice or unholy ambition.

Signon

Signon

Austin, TX
June 2005

JUN 05, 2007 10:44 AM

I wouldn't put it beyond them, but I'm with Zarth here. I don't need to know if they're baby-eating, or just raping the taxpayers and butchering their children.

jtemperance

jtemperance

Chicago, IL
January 2004

JUN 05, 2007 10:47 AM

Zarth said

Some people just seem to think that arrogance and stupidity alone are not "bad" enough, somehow, even though most of the world's problems directly result from such garden-variety failings, rather than from some existential malice or unholy ambition.



Well said, sir.

FastJetta

FastJetta

Boulder, CO
April 2006

JUN 05, 2007 10:50 AM

Zarth said:

geo35 said:
Some people are certain that the Bushies knew in advance of 9/11 and let it happen so as to give themselves a blank check on any and all matters of "national security." I'm not sure they're entirely wrong.


For myself, I have no patience with conspiracy theories. I should think that the Iraq War alone, both in contemplation and execution, would adequately demonstrate the utter incompetence of this administration in intelligence matters.

Some people just seem to think that arrogance and stupidity alone are not "bad" enough, somehow, even though most of the world's problems directly result from such garden-variety failings, rather than from some existential malice or unholy ambition.



What? They executed their plan exactly as they wanted...
1) We went to War... That was their goal!
2) There are more terrorists now than there were three years ago: The US is not safer, in fact just the opposite.
3) The DOD gets more money than ever before: Remind me again of who has vested intrest in several DOD contractors.

PresidentChimp

PresidentChimp

Southfield, MI
July 2005

JUN 05, 2007 10:58 AM

This is a related fact: On May 9th, 2007 Bush awarded himself dictatorial powers. Read it for yourself on the Whitehouse website.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2007/05/20070509-12.html

Bush has everything to gain if there is another terrorist attack because there will be no more U.S. Constitution. This grab for power is no different than what Hitler did or if you're not up on history and have no base in reality... Watch Star Wars Episode 3 or V For Vendetta to have a better idea of where our country is headed.

As far as the GOP making political gains from terrorism... Ask yourself: Who profited most from the September 11th attacks and could a foreign terrorist order NORAD or the Pentagon's Ballistic Missile Defense to stand down?

If you want to learn more about events of 9/11... Google 9/11 Truth

http://www.myspace.com/911truthdetroit

http://infowars.com/

abracadabra

abracadabra

Seattle, WA
April 2004

JUN 05, 2007 11:21 AM

"all we need is some attacks on American soil"..scary shit there.. no ?

Trahern

Trahern

United Kingdom
March 2003

JUN 05, 2007 11:43 AM

*reads title*

You lie! You must be! Filthy frelling liar!

*reads article*

...Let's aim all the terrorists at Dennis then, shall we? He thinks more Americans getting killed on home soil so Bush gets more support is a good idea, he should put his money where his mouth is and be first in line.

Damn. Just got an image of bloody money flying out of a hole in the back of a politician's head. Someone should draw that.

polverso

polverso

Kansas City, MO
December 2005

JUN 05, 2007 11:49 AM

Funny him saying that right after the president decided the next time there is a major disaster he gets to suspend the government.

Lufy

Lufy

Ithaca, NY
May 2004

JUN 05, 2007 12:03 PM

Wait...did the chairman of the Republican party in Arkansas advocate a need for terrorist attacks in the US to improve Bush's polling #s?

...I think all we need is some attacks on American soil like we had on [Sept. 11, 2001 ], and the naysayers will come around very quickly...

Yep. I think he just did. Un-fucking-believable. How desperate are these people?

Alz

Alz

Lincoln, NE
February 2007

JUN 05, 2007 12:30 PM

I don't get his logic. I mean, it's just so incredibly flawed and stupid and moronic that it just boggles my mind. More attacks=yay president???? What? Now, maybe it's cause I'm a free thinking commie pinko hippie druggie lesbian* but personally, I'd be a little pissed that the president had spent aaaalll this money fightin the war on terrer-ists and defense and we still get blown up? Wtf was the point of all that, then? Well, fuck.

*I may or may not truly be any of these things.

Jennifer_

Jennifer_

Venezuela
November 2006

JUN 05, 2007 12:43 PM

geo35 said:
Some people are certain that the Bushies knew in advance of 9/11 and let it happen so as to give themselves a blank check on any and all matters of "national security." I'm not sure they're entirely wrong.


'Bushies' is a funny word.

Also, I thought this thread was going to be about waxing.

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