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Surprise! You’re In Hell, Falwell!

TUESDAY MAY 15 2007 2:00 PM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Jerry Falwell,



Jerry Falwell died today. He went out the same way he lived; fat and awful. Just imagine the look on his face when he arrived in hell. Priceless.

Falwell was found in his office and rushed to a Lynchburg hospital where he was pronounced dead. And oddly, he was also pronounced a dick. I didn’t think doctors could do that but I was wrong.

Falwell, 73, was the founder of the Moral Majority, which is actually a minority. They used the word majority so they would feel better about themselves.

He was truly a man of Jesus.



You could totally hear Jesus saying that. It’s eerie. Sometimes it was like he was channeling The Lord. Two days after the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, Jerry had this to say..

"Abortionists…gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way helped this happen."


The next day he apologized for stating what was truly in his heart.

At least he still has the Rapture to look forward to.



So long, creep.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at Comedy Works in downtown Denver, May 18th and 19th.

 

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Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

MAY 15, 2007 07:09 PM

HunterSMencken said:
Har!

I heard Satan had gotten tired of Saddam and called in Jerry to be his new biatch.

Why? Because Jerry Fallwell had a reputation for giving the best head in Lynchburg.

ROFLMAO!

Fucker.



Wait, what? When did Satan break up with Chris?

otaku

otaku

I'm lost
January 2004

MAY 15, 2007 07:10 PM

Oh, and speaking of Rapture:

_Elichrusos

_Elichrusos

Australia
November 2004

MAY 15, 2007 07:12 PM

I'd've been happier if he'd been raped to death by bears [1], but I'll take it. Happy day.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I don't mean the big hairy men. I mean, you know, fucking bears.

dkmfc

dkmfc

Germany
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 07:20 PM

agentsmythe said:
take a break from watching Nascar



what the fuck does nascar have to do with being a homophobic spewer of hate?

kind of seems like you're doing a little bit of hate spewing yourself there bub...


That's not true. His breed is not dying out. Hopefully, though, they will soon be removed from positions of power as the country wakes up from this post 9/11 stupor of groupthink. There should be a prerequisite IQ test for voting. While plenty of highly-intelligent, greedy "conservatives" would vote, we would be saved from the drooling, confused and easily-led masses who somehow manage to take a break from watching Nascar and placing magnetic decals on their SUV's to "support the troops" to vote for their "values", as told to them by pieces of shit like Falwell and Pat Robertson (and formerly Ted Haggard when he didn't have a cock in his mouth). These people are the only anti-American folks around.



oh, I get it...they aren't watching football, or baseball, or hell....adult swim...it's gotta be nascar.
because only hicks like nascar.
smart, educated folks with all their teeth don't.

and I'm willing to bet a full 3/4 of everyone in this thread has a family member, or friend, or hell they themselves have a magnetic support the troops ribbon on their car...or truck...or suv. we don't all live in this wonderfully correct utopia you envision. people get lied to by politicians and people make choices in life based on what they think is best for them. that doesn't make everyone idiots or anti-fucking american. it just makes them human.

s5

s5

STAFF

San Francisco, CA

MAY 15, 2007 07:38 PM

Wendy said:
I believe he's just asking for a source as to how his life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, which is a fairly bold statement if you ask me.



In the 1980s, Falwell and the Moral Majority worked with President Reagan and the Republican party to shape the federal government's policy on AIDS and AIDS research. As a result, nothing was done.

Had there been a major push by the federal government to stop the spread of AIDS from the beginning through research and education, everything would have been different. No one knew anything about AIDS, and there would have at least been a chance to contain the disease before it spread into a worldwide epidemic.

Instead, Falwell and his gang of crusaders guaranteed their political support of the Republican party, in exchange for various policies. One of these policies was to choke off funds to prevent the spread of AIDS. Falwell and his buddies also spread the message that AIDS is God's punishment, in an effort to delude the public into believing that AIDS is someone else's problem. The goal was to prevent public opinion from swinging the other way, since people tend to get all sympathetic when other people are suffering and dying, though not so much when it's "those bad people over there" suffering and dying.

Anyway, they lost, since obviously AIDS research and education are considered important priorities by nearly everyone sane (even though to this day, the Republicans and Falwell's successors still try to suppress condoms whenever they can).

But how many people had to die before the public woke up? How many lives could have been saved had Falwell been laughed off the public stage, instead of being allowed to influence federal policy?

I don't have a source - just read up on his legacy. None of this is any secret. I lived through the 80s and watched it all happen the first time around. These are deeply evil people who work hard to cause the death and suffering of other people, and I will continue to pop a champagne cork as each of them dies off, taking their wretched ideas and actions with them into a cold pit of dirt.

Rot in hell, Falwell.

Fractal

Fractal

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

MAY 15, 2007 07:43 PM

Voices of American Sexuality Blogpost

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals"
"It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."
"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."
After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."
"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions"
"[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."

Oz_the_Vamp

Oz_the_Vamp

Lorain, OH
June 2005

MAY 15, 2007 07:43 PM

When I first saw the news, I thought "Oh. Good!" biggrin

dkmfc

dkmfc

Germany
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 07:48 PM

s5 said:
Rot in hell, Falwell.



word. what a horrible shit of a human being.

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

MAY 15, 2007 07:50 PM

In lieu of flowers the Falwell family is asking for donations to made in Fudgie the Whales.

Last Christmas he recived a diet book - Jerry finished it in one sitting!

Hey-Oh!



fountainofdreams

fountainofdreams

Mokena, IL
January 2005

MAY 15, 2007 08:02 PM

Rockoval said:
Am I the only one who thinks FTR went a little too far this time? I agree that Falwell was a horrible ignorant person, but he was no Pinochet or Pol Pot. To take this much pleasure in his death seems just a little tasteless.



"...this time?" I think this is one of the few times he went just far enough.

pingz

pingz

Richardson, TX
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 08:05 PM

All i can think of...



smile

erratic_prophet

erratic_prophet

San Diego, CA
December 2006

MAY 15, 2007 08:07 PM

Good fucking riddance

RedAss

RedAss

Cleveland, OH
December 2004

MAY 15, 2007 08:12 PM

Fractal said:
Voices of American Sexuality Blogpost

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals"
"It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."
"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."
After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."
"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions"
"[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."




Listen for yourself...


geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 08:13 PM

s5 said:

Wendy said:
I believe he's just asking for a source as to how his life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, which is a fairly bold statement if you ask me.



In the 1980s, Falwell and the Moral Majority worked with President Reagan and the Republican party to shape the federal government's policy on AIDS and AIDS research. As a result, nothing was done.

Had there been a major push by the federal government to stop the spread of AIDS from the beginning through research and education, everything would have been different. No one knew anything about AIDS, and there would have at least been a chance to contain the disease before it spread into a worldwide epidemic.

Instead, Falwell and his gang of crusaders guaranteed their political support of the Republican party, in exchange for various policies. One of these policies was to choke off funds to prevent the spread of AIDS. Falwell and his buddies also spread the message that AIDS is God's punishment, in an effort to delude the public into believing that AIDS is someone else's problem. The goal was to prevent public opinion from swinging the other way, since people tend to get all sympathetic when other people are suffering and dying, though not so much when it's "those bad people over there" suffering and dying.

Anyway, they lost, since obviously AIDS research and education are considered important priorities by nearly everyone sane (even though to this day, the Republicans and Falwell's successors still try to suppress condoms whenever they can).

But how many people had to die before the public woke up? How many lives could have been saved had Falwell been laughed off the public stage, instead of being allowed to influence federal policy?

I don't have a source - just read up on his legacy. None of this is any secret. I lived through the 80s and watched it all happen the first time around. These are deeply evil people who work hard to cause the death and suffering of other people, and I will continue to pop a champagne cork as each of them dies off, taking their wretched ideas and actions with them into a cold pit of dirt.

Rot in hell, Falwell.



Well put. Good for you.

Isn't it obvious these people who screech the most about gays, aids, abortion, etc., are people with serious sexual issues of their own? When we get a chance to lift up the rock they live under, we often find them frequenting hookers, or gay massage therapists, or underage teenage pageboys. As Artmovesproduct said a couple pages ago, "My only regret is that he died before the public found out about whatever degenerate secret he's been hiding and compensating for all these years."

otaku

otaku

I'm lost
January 2004

MAY 15, 2007 08:16 PM

In case anyone wants to reactivate the Fuck John McCain thread

"Dr. Falwell was a man of distinguished accomplishment who devoted his life to serving his faith and country," said Sen. John McCain , a Republican presidential contender who during the 2000 primaries referred to Falwell and Robertson as "agents of intolerance." McCain has since distanced himself from those comments

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