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  • TUESDAY MAY 15 2007 2:00 PM

Surprise! You’re In Hell, Falwell!

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Jerry Falwell,



Jerry Falwell died today. He went out the same way he lived; fat and awful. Just imagine the look on his face when he arrived in hell. Priceless.

Falwell was found in his office and rushed to a Lynchburg hospital where he was pronounced dead. And oddly, he was also pronounced a dick. I didn’t think doctors could do that but I was wrong.

Falwell, 73, was the founder of the Moral Majority, which is actually a minority. They used the word majority so they would feel better about themselves.

He was truly a man of Jesus.



You could totally hear Jesus saying that. It’s eerie. Sometimes it was like he was channeling The Lord. Two days after the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, Jerry had this to say..

"Abortionists…gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way helped this happen."


The next day he apologized for stating what was truly in his heart.

At least he still has the Rapture to look forward to.



So long, creep.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at Comedy Works in downtown Denver, May 18th and 19th.

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Comments
Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

MAY 15, 2007 05:41 PM

tryphcycle said:
LOL.... more tender nerves! tisk tisk tisk! let me bring it back in to topic range! what to Jerry Fallwell, Cho Seung-Hui, Lee Boyd Malvo, and John Allen Muhammad have in common?



Is this what passes for a valid argument in your mind? There are bad people from every state, that hardly makes the state a bad place. But hey, I'll play that game. What do David Adams, Kyle Adcox, and Dean Alby have in common? Well, they're all rapists, and they're all from Oregon. Obviously Oregon is also OMGTERRIBLE!

tryphcycle said:
yea.... maybe i am a troll... a bitter troll... the used to live in VA... but i am all better now!



Good self diagnosis is the first step to recovery.

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

MAY 15, 2007 05:42 PM

+1 The Reaper



P.S. For such a "pious" man, he looks like he never missed a meal in his life! I bet the same couldn't be said for the poor saps he suckered into parting with their life savings to maintain his "church".

Rory_B_Bellows

Rory_B_Bellows

Dallas, TX
April 2007

MAY 15, 2007 05:49 PM

Poptard said:

s5 said:
I can sum up why I'm celebrating his death in one word:

AIDS

His life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, and he's guilty of each of those deaths. It's not just that he had "a different opinion" about politics. It's that he believed AIDS was "God's punishment" and it was his job to make sure as many non-believers received this punishment as possible.



Source?
I want to believe you. I just need a source.



AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Here's a whole shitload of reasons to hate Falwell.

paperpterodactyl

paperpterodactyl

Pittsburgh, PA
July 2006

MAY 15, 2007 05:50 PM

yay!

Wendy

Wendy

SUICIDEGIRL

Israel

MAY 15, 2007 06:01 PM

Eternalexile said:

Poptard said:

s5 said:
I can sum up why I'm celebrating his death in one word:

AIDS

His life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, and he's guilty of each of those deaths. It's not just that he had "a different opinion" about politics. It's that he believed AIDS was "God's punishment" and it was his job to make sure as many non-believers received this punishment as possible.



Source?
I want to believe you. I just need a source.



AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Here's a whole shitload of reasons to hate Falwell.



I believe he's just asking for a source as to how his life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, which is a fairly bold statement if you ask me.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

MAY 15, 2007 06:02 PM

Well, at least this year's death list will have a bright spot.

nothingtonothing

nothingtonothing

San Lorenzo, CA
December 2005

MAY 15, 2007 06:09 PM

Satan Laughs As You Eternally Rot. lolz.

mQx

mqx

Seattle, WA
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 06:20 PM

punk said:
Somewhere up in Heaven, Jesus is laughing.

zoom image



Go white Jesus!



It is events like this that makes me hope there is a Heaven and Hell. As judgmental as that is. biggrin

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

MAY 15, 2007 06:22 PM

artmovesproduct

artmovesproduct

Denver, CO
August 2006

MAY 15, 2007 06:25 PM

My only regret is that he died before the public found out about whatever degenerate secret he's been hiding and compensating for all these years.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

MAY 15, 2007 06:32 PM

Hehe, silly overly-hyper media:

SocietysPliers

SocietysPliers

Ocala, FL
October 2004

MAY 15, 2007 06:36 PM

Morgan said:

tryphcycle said:
LOL.... more tender nerves! tisk tisk tisk! let me bring it back in to topic range! what to Jerry Fallwell, Cho Seung-Hui, Lee Boyd Malvo, and John Allen Muhammad have in common?

Is this what passes for a valid argument in your mind? There are bad people from every state, that hardly makes the state a bad place. But hey, I'll play that game. What do David Adams, Kyle Adcox, and Dean Alby have in common? Well, they're all rapists, and they're all from Oregon. Obviously Oregon is also OMGTERRIBLE!

tryphcycle said:
yea.... maybe i am a troll... a bitter troll... the used to live in VA... but i am all better now!

Good self diagnosis is the first step to recovery.

Well-played, Fair Morgan!

SlackerInChief

SlackerInChief

Sanford, FL
February 2005

MAY 15, 2007 06:59 PM

I will dance at his funeral!


*Dance on the corpse*
*Dance on the corpse*
*Dance on the corpse*
*Dance on the corpse*
*Dance on the corpse*
*Dance on the corpse*
Score one for the good guys!
biggrin

otaku

otaku

USA
January 2004

MAY 15, 2007 07:06 PM

Hopefully Satan is doing some "Rapturing" of Falwell's arse right as we speak.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Please note this is honestly not meant to offend anyone who might enjoy some good arse-rapturing now and then; it just seems like Falwell is the least likely to enjoy it.

SocietysPliers

SocietysPliers

Ocala, FL
October 2004

MAY 15, 2007 07:07 PM

Wendy said:

Eternalexile said:

Poptard said:

s5 said:
I can sum up why I'm celebrating his death in one word:

AIDS

His life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, and he's guilty of each of those deaths. It's not just that he had "a different opinion" about politics. It's that he believed AIDS was "God's punishment" and it was his job to make sure as many non-believers received this punishment as possible.

Source?
I want to believe you. I just need a source.

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Here's a whole shitload of reasons to hate Falwell.

I believe he's just asking for a source as to how his life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, which is a fairly bold statement if you ask me.

I thought the same thing. Regardless of how intolerant and all that Falwell was, he never (to my knowledge) contracted HIV and then spread it unwittingly to people or stabbed thousands of people with infected needles, so I can't see how he can be accused of DIRECTLY, or any other way, of causing anyone's death by AIDS. In fact, as ludicrous as it sounds, if we had all listened to him and didn't have pre- or extamarital sex or shoot drugs, there would be a huge amount less AIDS.

Obviously, that's as unfeasible and the thought of the world living by his standards is nearly as ludicrous as accusing him of causing mass murders by AIDS, but as much as I hate saying it, no sex with anyone other than a spouse who also never had sex with anyone else, and no IV drugs would drastically minimize the spread of AIDS.

And yes, there are plenty of ACTUAL reasons to dislike Falwell. We don't need to accuse him of directly causing people to get AIDS.

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