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  • TUESDAY MAY 15 2007 2:00 PM

Surprise! You’re In Hell, Falwell!

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Jerry Falwell,



Jerry Falwell died today. He went out the same way he lived; fat and awful. Just imagine the look on his face when he arrived in hell. Priceless.

Falwell was found in his office and rushed to a Lynchburg hospital where he was pronounced dead. And oddly, he was also pronounced a dick. I didn’t think doctors could do that but I was wrong.

Falwell, 73, was the founder of the Moral Majority, which is actually a minority. They used the word majority so they would feel better about themselves.

He was truly a man of Jesus.



You could totally hear Jesus saying that. It’s eerie. Sometimes it was like he was channeling The Lord. Two days after the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, Jerry had this to say..

"Abortionists…gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way helped this happen."


The next day he apologized for stating what was truly in his heart.

At least he still has the Rapture to look forward to.



So long, creep.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at Comedy Works in downtown Denver, May 18th and 19th.

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Comments
tryphcycle

tryphcycle

Beaverton, OR
December 2002

MAY 15, 2007 05:03 PM

eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!

Redspider

redspider

New York, NY
May 2007

MAY 15, 2007 05:05 PM

Now,Now let's be nice,like any of us he had his bad points and........(DIE DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!.....) we should be thankful he is at peace........pieces.......feces. (ahem) skull

tryphcycle

tryphcycle

Beaverton, OR
December 2002

MAY 15, 2007 05:07 PM

ahh.... yea... manasshole in NoVa! 10 years.... it sux! i am much better now! no more sitting in DC traffic waiting for the next road rage incident or the next snipper... or mass murderer break on to the scene!!

tryphcycle

tryphcycle

Beaverton, OR
December 2002

MAY 15, 2007 05:08 PM

Morgan said:

tryphcycle said:
yea... Virginia has rules alright... still sux!



What a brilliant comeback. whatever Have you ever even been to Virginia?



have you?

HunterSMencken

HunterSMencken

Vienna, VA
July 2006

MAY 15, 2007 05:09 PM

tryphcycle said:
yea... Virginia has rules alright... still sux!



Before this thread devolves into a troll-driven (tryphcycle) argument over the virtues of Virginia (a place I happen to love), can we keep on topic here?

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

MAY 15, 2007 05:10 PM

tryphcycle said:
eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!



How exactly do you rial a person up? Is it like dialing, but with a funny accent?

Formus

Formus

Milwaukee, WI
May 2007

MAY 15, 2007 05:11 PM

DhD_PillowPants said:

tryphcycle said:
eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!



How exactly do you rial a person up? Is it like dialing, but with a funny accent?



Spelling troll FTL

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

MAY 15, 2007 05:12 PM

HunterSMencken said:

tryphcycle said:
yea... Virginia has rules alright... still sux!



Before this thread devolves into a troll-driven (tryphcycle) argument over the virtues of Virginia (a place I happen to love), can we keep on topic here?



You's ruinin all the funs!

I won't say that I am celebrating that he died, but it isn't really bothering me a whole lot. I think he was a horrible person and will hopefully be held accountable for them now.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

MAY 15, 2007 05:13 PM

Formus said:

DhD_PillowPants said:

tryphcycle said:
eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!



How exactly do you rial a person up? Is it like dialing, but with a funny accent?



Spelling troll FTL



My life is full of fail. And cookies, which are kind of win. But mostly fail. I've accepted and embraced it.

tryphcycle

tryphcycle

Beaverton, OR
December 2002

MAY 15, 2007 05:16 PM

HunterSMencken said:

tryphcycle said:
yea... Virginia has rules alright... still sux!



Before this thread devolves into a troll-driven (tryphcycle) argument over the virtues of Virginia (a place I happen to love), can we keep on topic here?




LOL.... more tender nerves! tisk tisk tisk! let me bring it back in to topic range! what to Jerry Fallwell, Cho Seung-Hui, Lee Boyd Malvo, and John Allen Muhammad have in common?

yea.... maybe i am a troll... a bitter troll... the used to live in VA... but i am all better now!

caio!

tryphcycle

tryphcycle

Beaverton, OR
December 2002

MAY 15, 2007 05:18 PM

DhD_PillowPants said:

tryphcycle said:
eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!



How exactly do you rial a person up? Is it like dialing, but with a funny accent?




Somthing like that! Sorry my spell check failed on that one!

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

MAY 15, 2007 05:18 PM

s5 said:
I can sum up why I'm celebrating his death in one word:

AIDS

His life's work directly resulted in millions of people getting AIDS, and he's guilty of each of those deaths. It's not just that he had "a different opinion" about politics. It's that he believed AIDS was "God's punishment" and it was his job to make sure as many non-believers received this punishment as possible.



Source?
I want to believe you. I just need a source.

Kayotik

kayotik

United Kingdom
February 2012

MAY 15, 2007 05:24 PM

Goodnight, Jerry Fartwell. You will always be the asshole of the month.

geo35

geo35

Minneapolis, MN
January 2003

MAY 15, 2007 05:25 PM

Falwell is no more! Praise be and glory hallelujah!

SocietysPliers

SocietysPliers

Ocala, FL
October 2004

MAY 15, 2007 05:40 PM

tryphcycle said:

DhD_PillowPants said:

tryphcycle said:
eewww... i struck a nerve! No... i did not say that! Beaverton is so-so. However...portland IS damn cool! Va still sucks alot and so does LA. the one place i love to leave as much as i love visiting!

You SG people are so easy to Rial up!

How exactly do you rial a person up? Is it like dialing, but with a funny accent?

Somthing like that! Sorry my spell check failed on that one!

Oh . . . he meant "rile."

Here, I thought he was speaking of loading them up with Iranian money and wondered if perhaps Homeland Security should be notified.

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