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Surprise! You’re In Hell, Falwell!

TUESDAY MAY 15 2007 2:00 PM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Jerry Falwell,

Jerry Falwell died today. He went out the same way he lived; fat and awful. Just imagine the look on his face when he arrived in hell. Priceless.

Falwell was found in his office and rushed to a Lynchburg hospital where he was pronounced dead. And oddly, he was also pronounced a dick. I didn’t think doctors could do that but I was wrong.

Falwell, 73, was the founder of the Moral Majority, which is actually a minority. They used the word majority so they would feel better about themselves.

He was truly a man of Jesus.

You could totally hear Jesus saying that. It’s eerie. Sometimes it was like he was channeling The Lord. Two days after the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, Jerry had this to say..

"Abortionists…gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way helped this happen."

The next day he apologized for stating what was truly in his heart.

At least he still has the Rapture to look forward to.

So long, creep.

FearTheReaper will be appearing at Comedy Works in downtown Denver, May 18th and 19th.

234 Comments

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... 16

EvanX

Grand Rapids, MI

June 2003

MAY 15, 2007 02:06 PM

Remember kids:

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

MorbidFemme08

North Little Rock, AR

April 2007

MAY 15, 2007 02:17 PM

I am glad he's dead.

blitzkrieg00

Lynchburg, VA

May 2007

MAY 15, 2007 02:19 PM

I live in Lynchburg, VA where his reign over everything here makes it no fun to live. Hopefully now that the fat man is dead some fun will come around... like bars and night clubs.

artmovesproduct

Denver, CO

August 2006

MAY 15, 2007 02:21 PM

At the risk of offending those who invariably surface to piously decry taking pleasure in the death of another human, I think it's fair to say that the world is a better place without you "Reverend" Fuckface.

Valek311

Jacksonville, FL

June 2006

MAY 15, 2007 02:23 PM

Farewell Douche bag!!!!

HunterSMencken

Vienna, VA

July 2006

MAY 15, 2007 02:28 PM

Har!

I heard Satan had gotten tired of Saddam and called in Jerry to be his new biatch.

Why? Because Jerry Fallwell had a reputation for giving the best head in Lynchburg.

ROFLMAO!

Fucker.

TearingRaven

Las Vegas, NV

May 2006

MAY 15, 2007 02:28 PM

Being an ardent republican, I can't even mourn this guys death. He was just an awful person who tolerated no one. He was a member of what I like to call "old conservatives," a breed that is finally thinning.

Tallboy66

USA

January 2005

MAY 15, 2007 02:29 PM

That reminds me I should brush my teeth.

handsomejoe

Tempe, AZ

December 2004

MAY 15, 2007 02:32 PM

Gosh, I should not think this, but finally that guy passed away. Ha, that did not feel so bad.

Untimely

USA

January 2007

MAY 15, 2007 02:36 PM

He's in a better place now; for his sake and ours.

Untimely

USA

January 2007

MAY 15, 2007 02:37 PM

Jerry's dead, and "Abortionists…gays, lesbians, the ACLU and People for American Way helped this happen."

Untimely

USA

January 2007

MAY 15, 2007 02:39 PM

Maybe God finally got embarrassed of having people like this speak for him.

punk

Phoenix, AZ

January 2004

MAY 15, 2007 02:45 PM

Somewhere up in Heaven, Jesus is laughing.

ApostropheNow

Skull Valley, AZ

April 2004

MAY 15, 2007 02:50 PM

I just want to caution the members of the Satanist group to steer clear of this.

Valeyard

Shreveport, LA

January 2005

MAY 15, 2007 02:53 PM

I thought we'd be stuck with him a couple more years...glad I was wrong! One down...one more to go. We have a nice place in hell picked out for you Pat Robertson! Unfortunately, Pat's trying to beat the cockroaches for resilience