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  • SUNDAY MAY 6 2007 8:00 AM

Are Chimpanzees People?

Submitted by thefreak

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: chimpanzee, animal rights, Austria



Chimpanzees have been entertaining people around the world for centuries. Whether wearing children's clothes or throwing poop at unsuspecting zoo-goers, we think of them as funny, hairy, little people.

But is a chimp really a "person?" In the case of 26-year-old "Hiasl," animal rights activists in Austria would say yes.

Hiasl's supporters argue he needs that status to become a legal entity that can receive donations and get a guardian to look out for his interests.

"Our main argument is that Hiasl is a person and has basic legal rights," said Eberhart Theuer, a lawyer leading the challenge on behalf of the Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna animal rights group.

"We mean the right to life, the right to not be tortured, the right to freedom under certain conditions," Theuer said.


Hiasl and another chimp, Rosi, went from being smuggled as babies from Sierra Leone, and brought to Austria to be guinea apes for pharmaceutical testing before being intercepted by customs and brought to a local animal sanctuary, which has since gone bankrupt.

Despite food and veterinary bills of almost $7000 a month, they are unable to accept gifts from donors, due to an Austrian law stating only people can receive personal donations. Therefore, Hiasl's supporters aim to make him a real boy.

Organizers could set up a foundation to collect cash for Hiasl, whose life expectancy in captivity is about 60 years. But without basic rights, they contend, he could be sold to someone outside Austria, where the chimp is protected by strict animal cruelty laws.

"If we can get Hiasl declared a person, he would have the right to own property. Then, if people wanted to donate something to him, he'd have the right to receive it," said Theuer, who has vowed to take the case to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary.


Even legendary ape lady Jane Goodall will be joining the fight, as Hiasl's legal team has her among several expert witnesses for their appeal which is yet to be set.

Austria isn't the only country that's gone ape for apes, as Spain's Parliament is considering endorsement of a bill supporting the Great Ape Project:

...a Seattle-based international initiative to extend "fundamental moral and legal protections" to apes.


Now, couldn't this be dangerous, you ask? Mr. Thueur is quick to assuage any fears of a real-life Planet of the Apes by saying:

"We're not talking about the right to vote here."


Well, Bush got voted in for a second term. Could a chimp do worse?

thefreak, through his unhealthy obsession with monkeys and apes, fully supports this endeavor, and hopes to someday have a chimp as a roommate.

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Comments
MschfMayhemSoap

MschfMayhemSoap

Phoenix, AZ
April 2006

MAY 06, 2007 02:23 PM

magpieboy said:

sickboyedd said:

magpieboy said:

sickboyedd said:
If chimps were given human rights, does that mean I could legally fuck a chimp... errr, I mean could my friend fuck a chimp? More importantly, would the people wanting the chimp these rights try and stop him? <ahem>



No, because it would be like fucking a 3-year old. A 3 year-old capable of ripping off your arms.



It's ok, my friend is an Orangutan, he'd have no problems holding it down...

As for the "chimps share 99% dna with humans" malarky, we also share 60% with bananas, but you don't get people wanting them protected. Bananas, the silent vicim of abuse.



Funny, mine scream every time.


must mean you're not doing it right tongue

emotedcreations

emotedcreations

Germany
July 2006

MAY 06, 2007 02:27 PM

They're Manpanzees not Humanzees. Get it right! ARRR!!!

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

MAY 06, 2007 02:38 PM

emotedcreations said:
They're Manpanzees not Humanzees. Get it right! ARRR!!!



THat's the general term. The sire comes first. Thus, also, Chumans.

emotedcreations

emotedcreations

Germany
July 2006

MAY 06, 2007 02:50 PM

magpieboy said:

emotedcreations said:
They're Manpanzees not Humanzees. Get it right! ARRR!!!



THat's the general term. The sire comes first. Thus, also, Chumans.

It's Manpanzee, I promise!

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAY 06, 2007 02:53 PM

emotedcreations said:
Specifically, Austria just needs to change that law. It's a little ridiculous that you can't make donations to anything except people. Do they not have like a Green Peace there or anything?


I think that's the bit a lot of people in this thread are missing. They can't accept donations for the chimp (or any animal) due to that law.

I agree it's a weird law, and that should be changed. Then again, I will wholeheartedly admit I know nothing about Austrian politics.



-TM

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAY 06, 2007 02:59 PM

Ferretbite said:
Meanwhile, somewhere in the world, other humans aren't aware of the problem because they don't know how to read, are busy dying of AIDS, starvation or bombs. But there's enough folks working to solve mankind's problems, so who cares.


Wow, way to over-generalize.

-TM

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

MAY 06, 2007 05:27 PM

deanmoriarty said:
Uh, why not donate the money to a person and then just spend it on the chimp?



That was exactly my thought.

Untimely

Untimely

Chicago, IL
January 2007

MAY 06, 2007 06:42 PM

Wait, if a chimp gets a bunch DUIs and ditches the draft by taking the important job of driving a jet plane along the US border, can he still become President?

theconservative

theconservative

Spring, TX
October 2004

MAY 06, 2007 07:47 PM

humans and chimpanzees sould be treated as equals...just as long as some of us are more equal than others.

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

MAY 06, 2007 07:52 PM

I think the BIGGER question we should all be worrying about is...

Are Humans Chimpanzees? I mean, we have 99% of the DNA that they have, right? And have you ever tried to pant-hoot? Trust me, you can do it.

soulcompromise

soulcompromise

I'm lost
November 2006

MAY 06, 2007 07:58 PM

Even though they are capable of sign language and space travel I would say no.

RyleeStrange

RyleeStrange

Los Angeles, CA
February 2007

MAY 07, 2007 12:43 AM

all chimps have the right to life, liberty and to hurl poop for happiness.

herbancowboy

herbancowboy

Houston, TX
June 2004

MAY 07, 2007 06:44 AM

Chimps should at least have more rights under the law than corporations.

Untimely

Untimely

Chicago, IL
January 2007

MAY 07, 2007 08:55 AM

There are different kinds of chimps -- the common chimp and the bonobo.
Only the bonobo is human. smile

Jennifer_

Jennifer_

Venezuela
November 2006

MAY 07, 2007 09:04 AM

Chimps are certainly not human. They might be similiar to humans, but they are obviously a different species. That's like saying a cat and a lion are the same animal.

The real question is, are chimps sentient enough to deserve freedom from cruelty and undue stress? Personally, I think the answer to that is yes. They shouldn't be given human rights, simply because scientifically they are too genetically dissimiliar to humans to be classed as a member of the same species, but they should be given 'ape rights' which take account of their level of intelligence and capacity for emotion, thought and suffering.

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