There was little reason to watch the Republican debate tonight because they are all dead in the water due to Bush’s war. It sounds like Ron Paul added a little spice, so expect him to be tossed out of the next Republican debate just as the Democrats threw Mike Gravel out of future debates after he came out swinging last week. That’s how our political system works. Rock the boat, then you get your ass tossed out of the boat.

I believe the best way for a brilliant SG editor like myself to cover the debate is to take one measly quote from each Republican that makes them seem as creepy as possible. Here we go.

How about Mitt Romney talking about Osama bin Laden?

Settle down. McCain then had to top dead…and he did.

Have fun with that. And please tell me where the gates are, as I would like to avoid them. Speaking of the gates of hell, Tom Tancredo was asked about the day Roe v. Wade is overturned.

Wow. What about the day we freed the slaves? That wasn’t any good? How about the Fourth of July thingy, where we became independent? No? Fortunately, that was not the dumbest answer. That award went to Mitt Romney, who was asked to tell us one thing that is wrong with America. His answer:

Then he went on to say how great America is and never mentioned that there might be anything wrong with it. Is this his first job interview? “We’re perfectionists.” Come on!

How about Brownback on stem cell research?

Wow, I never thought of that. We should kill people to heal other people. It would be a great way to end poverty and homelessness - but it would not stop the problem of gays having jobs. Tommy Thompson was asked if employers should be allowed to fire a worker just because he is gay.

What a nice man. But not as nice as Rudy Giuliani . He was asked if Roe V Wade should be overturned

Yeah, it would be okay. No, I take that back, it would be okey-dokey. Or super duper. MIke Huckabee let everyone know how great America is by contrasting us with…other people.

It is true. When coal miners are trapped we do go after them. Many countries just fill in the hole and pretend like nothing happened. By far the best moment was when the candidates were asked to raise their hands if they don't believe in evolution. Sen. Sam Brownback, Gov. Mike Huckabee and Rep. Tom Tancredo raised their hands. Shiver.

And last but not least, Ron Paul. He was asked if he trusts the mainstream media.

Fuck yeah, because of all the standards, integrity and high quality.

There was also a guy there from Virginia. His name does not matter because he is a loser. There was not a black guy or a woman, which is shocking.