Why Republicans Are Such Fucking Babies
Now, that headline may seem like a biased generalization about Republicans, but it is a scientific fact according to Psychology Today. Suddenly everything makes sense and I can actually feel a bit of empathy for these obtuse, sad creatures.
"Personality differences between liberals and conservatives are evident in early childhood. In 1969, Berkeley professors Jack and Jeanne Block embarked on a study of childhood personality, asking nursery school teachers to rate children's temperaments. They weren't even thinking about political orientation.
Twenty years later, they decided to compare the subjects' childhood personalities with their political preferences as adults. They found arresting patterns. As kids, liberals had developed close relationships with peers and were rated by their teachers as self-reliant, energetic, impulsive, and resilient. People who were conservative at age 23 had been described by their teachers as easily victimized, easily offended, indecisive, fearful, rigid, inhibited, and vulnerable at age 3. The reason for the difference, the Blocks hypothesized, was that insecure kids most needed the reassurance of tradition and authority, and they found it in conservative politics.
Wow. Conservatives started being annoying at age 3. They were the ones doing all the crying and whining and making life tough the well-adjusted liberals. Excuse me, I meant self-reliant, energetic liberals. So, what kind of horrible, fearful life have conservatives lived since then? We can look to a 2003 study involving 22,000 participants.
Researchers found that conservatives have a greater desire to reach a decision quickly and stick to it, and are higher on conscientiousness, which includes neatness, orderliness, duty, and rule-following. The study's authors also concluded that conservatives have less tolerance for ambiguity, a trait they say is exemplified when George Bush says things like, "Look, my job isn't to try to nuance. My job is to tell people what I think," and "I'm the decider." Those who think the world is highly dangerous and those with the greatest fear of death are the most likely to be conservative.
So, there you go, scientific proof that conservatives are awful, scared people. Until now I hadnt realized that people actually responded positively to Bush saying, Im the decider. Fascinating. Its like a look inside a badger den even more horrible than I could have imagined. Its all shit, claws and hair.
What about liberals? How about everything that is good in the world?
Liberals are higher on openness, which includes intellectual curiosity, excitement-seeking, novelty, creativity for its own sake, and a craving for stimulation like travel, color, art, music, and literature.
Thank you liberals, for art and happiness. Too bad conservatives are also scared of art.
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Comments
ElizaTheTroll
Australia
January 2006
APR 22, 2007 06:39 PM
MrCrisp
I'm lost
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elpuffy
Wagoner, OK
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San Francisco, CA
June 2004
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elpuffy
Wagoner, OK
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December 2003
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New York, NY
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Vancouver, WA
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Seattle, WA
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Orlando, FL
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Vancouver, WA
December 2003
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Oakland, CA
November 2002
APR 25, 2007 07:02 PM
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