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  • SATURDAY APRIL 21 2007 4:00 PM

Why Republicans Are Such Fucking Babies



Now, that headline may seem like a biased generalization about Republicans, but it is a scientific fact according to Psychology Today. Suddenly everything makes sense and I can actually feel a bit of empathy for these obtuse, sad creatures.

"Personality differences between liberals and conservatives are evident in early childhood. In 1969, Berkeley professors Jack and Jeanne Block embarked on a study of childhood personality, asking nursery school teachers to rate children's temperaments. They weren't even thinking about political orientation.

Twenty years later, they decided to compare the subjects' childhood personalities with their political preferences as adults. They found arresting patterns. As kids, liberals had developed close relationships with peers and were rated by their teachers as self-reliant, energetic, impulsive, and resilient. People who were conservative at age 23 had been described by their teachers as easily victimized, easily offended, indecisive, fearful, rigid, inhibited, and vulnerable at age 3. The reason for the difference, the Blocks hypothesized, was that insecure kids most needed the reassurance of tradition and authority, and they found it in conservative politics.”


Wow. Conservatives started being annoying at age 3. They were the ones doing all the crying and whining and making life tough the well-adjusted liberals. Excuse me, I meant self-reliant, energetic liberals. So, what kind of horrible, fearful life have conservatives lived since then? We can look to a 2003 study involving 22,000 participants.

Researchers found that conservatives have a greater desire to reach a decision quickly and stick to it, and are higher on conscientiousness, which includes neatness, orderliness, duty, and rule-following. The study's authors also concluded that conservatives have less tolerance for ambiguity, a trait they say is exemplified when George Bush says things like, "Look, my job isn't to try to nuance. My job is to tell people what I think," and "I'm the decider." Those who think the world is highly dangerous and those with the greatest fear of death are the most likely to be conservative.


So, there you go, scientific proof that conservatives are awful, scared people. Until now I hadn’t realized that people actually responded positively to Bush saying, “I’m the decider.” Fascinating. It’s like a look inside a badger den – even more horrible than I could have imagined. It’s all shit, claws and hair.

What about liberals? How about everything that is good in the world?

Liberals are higher on openness, which includes intellectual curiosity, excitement-seeking, novelty, creativity for its own sake, and a craving for stimulation like travel, color, art, music, and literature.


Thank you liberals, for art and happiness. Too bad conservatives are also scared of art.

 

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Comments
Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 21, 2007 11:30 PM

veggrrrl22 said:
okee... the guy the left the first comment... why is he on this site?


I don't get no respect.

Hereschucky

Hereschucky

Indianapolis, IN
April 2005

APR 21, 2007 11:52 PM

Liberals are the create souls and free spirits of the world while most of the conservatives are the ones who hold the guns and fight the wars (good or bad) to help keep us free. Both are important fabrics of the free world and we should learn to see the good that each is trying to do and set aside all the petty differences. The rift or divide only encourages the enemy and those who wish to take our freedoms away. I wish the whole world was free and able to express themselves, practice their whatever and roam where they want to without physically hurting or killing someone else or having to worry or fear of being physically hurt or even killed but that would be too much to ask or would it?

Domo_Kun

Domo_Kun

Rockford, IL
March 2005

APR 22, 2007 07:48 AM

Hereschucky said:
Liberals are the create souls and free spirits of the world while most of the conservatives are the ones who hold the guns and fight the wars (good or bad) to help keep us free. Both are important fabrics of the free world and we should learn to see the good that each is trying to do and set aside all the petty differences. The rift or divide only encourages the enemy and those who wish to take our freedoms away. I wish the whole world was free and able to express themselves, practice their whatever and roam where they want to without physically hurting or killing someone else or having to worry or fear of being physically hurt or even killed but that would be too much to ask or would it?



I'm as socially liberal as they come (hell, I want to legalize all drugs and allow polygamous and group marriages). With that said, I have no qualms about raining death and destruction upon those who would threaten my freedoms and/or my life and the lives of those I care about, be they common criminals who may break into my apartment or agents of the government, if the government ever turns into a Christofascist (see what I did there?) theocracy or something, or Daleks flying over our heads, trying to kill us all.

Maybe that's because of my more fiscally conservative attitudes... I feel that social entitlement programmes (welfare and Social Security being excellent examples) should be phased out, and the government should instead be investing in programmes that help people become self-reliant. Programmes like Pell grants and such. Hell, I'd like to see the government pick up the tab for every single person who pursues postsecondary education of some sort. When it comes to health care, I am totally against the single-payer system, simply because it doesn't fucking work. Switzerland has a good idea: Health insurance is mandatory, and if you cannot afford it, the government will provide it. Maybe that explains my willingness to get violent if I need to in order to protect myself, people I care about, and/or my freedoms...

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

APR 22, 2007 08:47 AM

herbancowboy said:

jjscholar said:
it is impossible to truly use the scientific method to study human behavior at all.


That's why I never leave home without my Ouija board.


Exactly. I totally disagree with jjscholar.

LERN2SIENX

While the psychologists need to be aware of bias in their analysis, the data are still data and (if the methodology is good) they'll tell you something. Just because Zarth is a mutant doesn't mean the study is bunk. It means there's some variability in humans (thank fucking god). And we use statistics to test these things... there's always a 1/20 chance that a scientific finding was random coincidence. But do multiple studies, and it gets hard to refute the data.

The idea that humans cannot be understood by science is arrogant and humano-centric. You were built by evolution just like every other organism that we study with the scientific method. Humans are animals. Deal.

SignalNoise

SignalNoise

USA
February 2004

APR 22, 2007 09:10 AM

jjscholar said:
While it appears on the surface that the research findings are compelling, it is very possible that this line of research which concludes that liberals are more cognitively flexible and more emotionally stable than conservatives could be a result of chance and nothing more. Everyone needs to remember that any sort of research in Psychology is very inexact to say the very least. That is if you can consider any sort of research in Psychology to be truly scientific at all. The greatest problem I find in the so called study of human behavior is simply that no two human beings are a like. Therefore, it is logical to conclude that perhaps it is impossible to truly use the scientific method to study human behavior at all.



This post, though it lacks theory, method or data, has destroyed *decades* of work by creative, intelilgent, and dedicated psychologists.

BAM! Take that scientifc method! wink

Actually, I think the notion that people are sooooo different is probably not as true as we like to think. We operate with a lot of similar cognitive shortcuts and systems - whether those are natural or cultural I guess is another debate. Also, psychology just doesn't use small data sets - they often make use of small sets (which allows them direct experimentation), but they also regularly use large data sets and advanced statistical methods to get at these questions - with findings replicated and theories given nuance across time.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 22, 2007 10:30 AM

Well, regardless of whether I'm a "mutant,"

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


or simply the next stage of human evolution,

this study's findings weren't presented very rigorously in the article. There was a lot of subjective-sounding "we found this," and "we found that," without describing either their methodology or their criteria. Until I see that, I won't take this very seriously.

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

APR 22, 2007 11:02 AM

Zarth said:
Well, regardless of whether I'm a "mutant,"

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


or simply the next stage of human evolution,

this study's findings weren't presented very rigorously in the article. There was a lot of subjective-sounding "we found this," and "we found that," without describing either their methodology or their criteria. Until I see that, I won't take this very seriously.



As mentioned earlier by magpieboy (and then sheepishly by me), Psychology Today is not that kind of periodical. It's more like Popular Science than Scientific American. Which unfortunately opens the conclusions reached to all sorts of criticism. It would have been much better if they had at least told where to find the original study results.

In case you're interested, here's one of them. It was published in The Journal of Research in Personality, which is that kind of periodical.

It's important to note that the Block Longitudinal Study is a long-term and still-ongoing study. So the data are more accessible for review than might otherwise be the case.

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

APR 22, 2007 11:26 AM

Incidentally, this is not the only area the study follows. Here's another one originally published in 1990 in the journal American Psychologist on personality and drug use.

And another from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on the negative impact of people who think too highly of themselves.

redheadedleague

redheadedleague

Pinole, CA
September 2003

APR 22, 2007 11:28 AM

I knew it!

Wait, does this mean the liberal kids picked on the conservative kids, and made them that way? Shit, talk about a monster of your own creation.

roguemind

roguemind

Groton, CT
October 2006

APR 22, 2007 12:03 PM

attn_ho said:

skeptik said:

st_even said:



I thought FearTheReaper did a good job...but once again was PROVEN WRONG.



Well, not necessarily.
It's the same study, but the last story was only published in the Toronto Star. Getting published in Psychology Today means they passed peer review. In that respect, the story is news.

Also, FTR wasn't on the site yet when Dead_Ringer wrote that other article.


this is an excellent point. good catch.


I've heard they made a search feature. Is this true of?
Oh and just because the article now has more street credit does not make it a new article. It is still a repeat.

Flawedhero

Flawedhero

Suwanee, GA
October 2006

APR 22, 2007 01:09 PM

Magpie said:
someone should do a cultural study as to why people in the SG boards are such fucking babies.



You really just said "someone should do a cultural study as to why people who pay for my sets are such fucking babies."

With that comment it would be easy to turn it around and say "Someone should do a cultural study as to why some SGs are such whiners."

kelsarr

kelsarr

Augusta, ME
April 2007

APR 22, 2007 04:25 PM

bulllllllshit

meatpieboy

meatpieboy

Korea, D.P.R.
June 2004

APR 22, 2007 05:10 PM

Flawedhero said:

Magpie said:
someone should do a cultural study as to why people in the SG boards are such fucking babies.



You really just said "someone should do a cultural study as to why people who pay for my sets are such fucking babies."

With that comment it would be easy to turn it around and say "Someone should do a cultural study as to why some SGs are such whiners."



I don't think she was being entirely humorless...

And if not, you just played right into her hands.

Baby.

Bastardo

Bastardo

Boston, MA
January 2005

APR 22, 2007 05:11 PM

st_even said:



I thought FearTheReaper did a good job...but once again was PROVEN WRONG.



ran with scissors?

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

APR 22, 2007 06:37 PM

oyaji said:

oyaji said:

veggrrrl22 said:
okee... the guy the left the first comment... why is he on this site?


He has a huge, huge schlong.


And big boobies.


It's all horribly, horribly true.

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