Best. Lawyer. Ever!

Everyone hates the RIAA, right? They’ve had a rather lengthy recent history of being total douchewads. With their huge war chest and battalion of attorneys, they’re pretty much evil incarnate, filing lawsuit after lawsuit against users who had allegedly used peer-to-peer software to share music files. Defendants receive settlement offers long before they ever get a summons, with the intent of scaring folks into settling before the RIAA has to spend a dime on litigation fees. It works most of the time. When the RIAA actually does file a complaint, most defendants are too unfamiliar with the process to obtain adequate representation. Again, the RIAA counts on just that.

This strategy may have worked again when the RIAA filed a suit in the Eastern District of California against Visalia resident Barry Merchant, were it not for his lawyer, Merl Ledford III, Esq. And what did Merl do? He responded to the RIAA’s hardball with some country hardball of his own. Here are some choice quotes from Merl’s letter to the RIAA’s attorneys, dated March 27, 2007.
The lawsuit filed by your office and your letter arrive at a particularly inappropriate time in Barry and Cathy Merchant's life. Mrs. Merchant left my office after our first meeting to attend to ill father in Colorado. She and Barry Merchant left my office today to attend his funeral. You should advise your clients that they are facing a "thin skull plaintiff" either on a Rule 11 sanctions motion or (upon favorable termination) in a malicious prosecution action. The emotional distress inflicted by your clients' litigation -- filed in Sacramento rather than the Fresno Branch of the Eastern District Court where my clients' live in violation of the Rules of Court -- has been extreme.

Your client should carefully consider whether it has probable cause to proceed at this point. Mr. Merchant's hard drive is available for immediate, carefully supervised inspection by your client; a carbon copy of the drive has been made by technicians to insure that the evidence is well backed-up.

At the time of inspection, we will expect your clients to be prepared to dismiss all claims with prejudice. The pleadings may be e-filed from my office the same day. Although dismissal will not avoid your clients' exposure to attorneys' fees under the Copyright Act, it will certainly mitigate damages to Mr. and Mrs. Merchant and the possibility of escalating the issues by counter-claim on federal grounds that have been successfully pleaded in other states as well as on pendant California claims that have, thus far, tempered your clients' California zeal for litigating in this state.
Oh, but Merl didn’t stop with just threatening to counter-sue. No, no. He broke it down, Cali-style.
Your client take (sic) the position that my middle-aged, conservative clients should speculate regarding the identity of persons your clients' claim used their AOL account to download pornographic-lyric gangsta rap tracks as predicate to possible case resolution. In an age of Wintel-virus created bot-farms, spoofs, and easily cracked WEP encrypted wireless home networks (among other easy hacks), the only tech-savvy response to such a request is, "You've got to be kidding." The extensive press that has been generated over computer security (and the insecurity of Windows XP and its predecessors) underscores the complete absence of facts on which probable cause to sue my clients could be established and your clients' willingness (even insistence) that others be implicated in Big Music's speculative, "driftnet" litigation tactics. Sorry: Mr. Merchant cannot and will not expose himself to still more litigation by speculating.
As an attorney, this part is my favorite:
Procedurally, we need to address how best to move the case to the Fresno Branch so you can enjoy our new Courthouse and avoid Judge Levi's wrath for filing in the wrong court. (Senior Judge Bob Coyle was responsible for building both our new facility and the District Court building in Sacramento; and, although neither building is as grand as Judge Manny Real's showpiece in Santa Ana, the Fresno Court is not only nicer than Sacramento but also one of the top three court facilities ever I've enjoyed practicing in.) Handling the issue by stipulation and order would probably be the most simple way to move the file. We do that routinely in PACA litigation although I am open to suggestions if you prefer to handle it differently

Once the case is moved to the Fresno Branch, your clients should consider cleaning up their complaint. The FRCP and collateral estoppel from other RIAA law and motion matters require much greater specificity in pleading than your clients provided in the complaint I reviewed. Dates of the alleged downloads, which plaintiff (or affiliate) holds which copyright to which track, etc. must be specifically pleaded and proven. You are as familiar as I am with the results in other cases where RIAA's general allegations have been challenged. Let's get over that hurdle without unnecessary law and motion practice.
Oh SNAP! You just got MODED, yo!!!

OK, well I thought it was funny. Demonstrating familiarity with local judges and customs and THEN delivering a finger-wagging lecture on civil procedure is the legal equivalent of stealing someone’s girlfriend and then emailing them pictures of you and her doing it. I'd say "they got served" but we're lawyers and to us that means something entirely different and less likely to involve choreographed dance numbers.

How did the RIAA’s lawyers respond to Ledford's letter? Voluntary Dismissal. Boo-fucking-ya. See? Sometimes it pays to have a good lawyer.

Subrosa is a licensed attorney in the state of California and went to the same law school as Mr. Ledford. But Subrosa would never be so smug about having experience practicing in Fresno because being in Fresno is nothing to be proud of. Hat tip: Aegies

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/politics/20877/