BLOG VIEW | HEADLINE VIEW

ALL

GEEK

Bush Too Big Of A Pussy To Throw Out The First Pitch

SUNDAY APRIL 1 2007 10:30 PM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

TAGS: Bush, Baseball, Pussy

Today was baseball�s opening day. The first president to throw out a first pitch was William Taft in 1910. Since then it has become a tradition for presidents to throw out the ceremonial first pitch of the local club. Bush threw out the first pitch in 2005 for the Washington Nationals but has passed on the honor in 2006 and now 2007.

"Oh, yes, he was invited," said Bush spokeswoman Emily Lawrimore. She said the president, an avid baseball fan and former part owner of the Texas Rangers, would love to be there. But "it's not possible with his schedule. He's got various meetings during the day, a meeting earlier in the morning. . . . It just wasn't going to work out."

Uh huh, yeah. Bush is a baseball fanatic. He expressed his desire to someday be the MLB commissioner in a Vanity Fair article a few years ago. He was an owner of the Texas Rangers.

There is only one reason Bush would not throw out a first pitch: The boos. The fucker would have been booed like no president ever has. His ratings are stuck around thirty percent. That�s seventy percent who don�t like him. That is a lot of boos.

He is not alone.

Except for when the world was at war, only two other presidents, Woodrow Wilson and Richard Nixon, missed Opening Day ceremonies two years in a row. And Wilson had suffered a stroke.

Bush is in good company. One guy had a stroke and the other guy was forced to resign before he was impeached.

24 Comments

PAGE:

1 | 2

gypsy_rover29657

Toronto, ON

November 2006

APR 01, 2007 10:51 PM

i vote stroke.

RudieCantFail

Intercourse, PA

January 2006

APR 01, 2007 10:57 PM

To be fair, he bought into the Texas Rangers mistakenly; he thought he would get to go on some ass-kicking adventures with Walker.

BlastProcessing

Knoxville, TN

OLD SKOOL

APR 01, 2007 10:57 PM

Aww, look who's pretending to be Mister Big Important Busy Man. How adorable.

Zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

APR 01, 2007 11:01 PM

BlastProcessing said:
Aww, look who's pretending to be Mister Big Important Busy Man. How adorable.

It is kind of inconsistent with his record as the most vacationy president in American history.

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY

February 2004

APR 01, 2007 11:05 PM

Zarth said:

BlastProcessing said:
Aww, look who's pretending to be Mister Big Important Busy Man. How adorable.

It is kind of inconsistent with his record as the most vacationy president in American history.

oh, thats in august. he has free time in august. but his april, thats packed. i dont understand how you dont understand the difference between april and august!

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

APR 01, 2007 11:12 PM

Go Giants.

MschfMayhemSoap

Phoenix, AZ

April 2006

APR 01, 2007 11:18 PM

now now...... maybe he was just afraid that he'd havta throw the pitch on "Lucky Rifle" day

Zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

APR 01, 2007 11:19 PM

attn_ho said:

Zarth said:

BlastProcessing said:
Aww, look who's pretending to be Mister Big Important Busy Man. How adorable.

It is kind of inconsistent with his record as the most vacationy president in American history.

oh, thats in august. he has free time in august. but his april, thats packed. i dont understand how you dont understand the difference between april and august!

I don't understand how I don't understand, either. If only the White House could make sure I understand, then I could understand.

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

APR 01, 2007 11:28 PM

Subrosa said:
Go Giants.

How is this news?

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY

February 2004

APR 01, 2007 11:55 PM

Clinton threw out wussier balls than george bush would have, had george bush decided to throw out balls at all. george would have decided to throw his balls hard because thats how the decider rolls.

Cliche_Guevara

Australia

January 2006

APR 01, 2007 11:58 PM

gypsy_rover29657 said:
i vote stroke.

Your wish has already come true mate. He's been stroking himself for some years now...

pyromethious

Silver Springs, FL

October 2006

APR 02, 2007 01:05 AM

Don't have the time to check if this' been said already, but I vote on personal security as the reason for lack of show. Honestly, I'm sure there's plenty of people against and for him, but hidden in the group against there's likely someone he's pist off beyond belief. Either way I stopped watching most sports when I realized they nolonger cared about the FUN of the game and would have missed this anyway.

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA

April 2006

APR 02, 2007 01:22 AM

Yes, there is a simple explanation for his missing out on throwing out the first ball to open the season... He hasn't got any to throw. He's got the balls to go against the world and attack a sovereign nation, unprovoked. But face his own country? Nah.

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA

March 2004

APR 02, 2007 01:22 AM

i'm trying to come up with a dissenting opinion, but it's just not there. it'd be like trying to argue with gravity. the fact that he hasn't been run over by a bus is proof there is no merciful god.

FellOnEarth said:
Yes, there is a simple explanation for his missing out on throwing out the first ball to open the season... He hasn't got any to throw. He's got the balls to go against the world and attack a sovereign nation, unprovoked. But face his own country? Nah.

+1: funny, accurate

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD

June 2004

APR 02, 2007 03:48 AM

There is only one reason Bush would not throw out a first pitch: The boos. The fucker would have been booed like no president ever has. His ratings are stuck around thirty percent. That's seventy percent who don't like him. That is a lot of boos.

Yeah, but only like 10 people show up to Nationals games. Last year they found it impossible to fill more than like half the stadium on opening day

PAGE:

1 | 2