News > Politics > Not in Our Schools

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THURSDAY JANUARY 11 2007 11:00 PM

Its been a while since Ive been in school, but heres what I remember of it: school pretty much sucks. Most of the time theres some teacher all bah-blah-blabity blah about calculus or some shit, and when they do break with the program, its for something else just as boring. If I had the chance to watch a critically acclaimed documentary film or practice some semi-trendy deep breathing exercise, I would have been three shades of psyched.

But, judging from two news stories this week, some spoil-sport Christian parent would have ruined it for everybody.

A school board in Washington has put the kibosh on students watching Al Gores global warming documentary An Inconvenient Truth because of a complaint from a God fearing parent. Apparently, father of seven Frosty Hardison has little tolerance for deviating from standard school curriculum or a literal interpretation of the Book of Revelations, even though one would think that being named for a beloved cartoon snowman would have made him loosen up years ago.

"Condoms don't belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He's not a schoolteacher," said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven who also said that he believes the Earth is 14,000 years old. "The information that's being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is ... The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn't in the DVD."

After Hardison sent an email complaint to the school board, the board decided that the film could only be shown if a teacher has permission from their principal and superintendent, and if a "credible, legitimate opposing view is also presented. Which means, in theory, a school could screen the Kirk Cameron-starring Christian end times film series Left Behind to balance out the lack of rapture-informed content in Mr. Gores PowerPoint presentation.

Meanwhile a couple of days ago, a Canadian school anti-obesity program was knocked for an alleged anti-Christian bias. The program included yoga, which Christian parents in Quesnel, British Columbia feel is a religion. One parent objected to how a yoga pose required her child to put their hands together in a prayer-like gesture. Another parent was quoted speaking against yoga in language strikingly similar to that of Robert Mitchums evil preacher character in The Night of the Hunter.

"There's God and there's the devil, and the devil's not a gentleman. If you give him any kind of an opening, he will take that."

Thankfully, the school is continuing to teach yoga. Those Canadians really are more sensible. Actually, scratch that. Lately even Christians are more sensible. Theres a growing Christian environmental movement and a series of video tapes about Christian Yoga.

Cant the cool Christians get together with all the stick-in-the-mud Christians for a three day seminar on how to chill-the-fuck-out?

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Comments

SockPuppet

I'm lost

July 2006

JAN 12, 2007 04:16 PM

Father of seven?? I can see why he wouldn't want any of that dangerous environmental stuff - he's scared they'll start taxing parents. ( Which they should - after the first kid, I guess.)

SockPuppet

I'm lost

July 2006

JAN 12, 2007 04:35 PM

Of course, he will outlive all his kids, so none of them will suffer any of those supposed "climate change" effects. Of course they won't.

Dead_Ringer

I'm lost

September 2004

JAN 12, 2007 04:43 PM

NickFaust said:
...Christians ... can't learn anything ....

... Christians don't know ... history ....

OMG Faust hates Christians!!!11o1n1111one.

Sorry, I have nothing to contribute anymore.

theconservative

Spring, TX

October 2004

JAN 12, 2007 05:16 PM

MschfMayhemSoap said:

theconservative said:
zarth scares me

its the stare, isnt it...

yep, it's like he's looking into my soul.

NickFaust

USA

April 2004

JAN 12, 2007 05:18 PM

theconservative said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

theconservative said:
zarth scares me

its the stare, isnt it...

yep, it's like he's looking into my soul.

Were there such a thing, that is.

theconservative

Spring, TX

October 2004

JAN 12, 2007 10:44 PM

NickFaust said:

theconservative said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

theconservative said:
zarth scares me

its the stare, isnt it...

yep, it's like he's looking into my soul.

Were there such a thing, that is.

touche'

darwinsjoke

Virginia Beach, VA

July 2003

JAN 12, 2007 10:51 PM

MschfMayhemSoap said:

thaddeusmutton said:

68stretch said:

the film could only be shown if ... a "credible, legitimate opposing view" is also presented.

I'm sure the school district ensures a credible, legitimate opposing view is presented to counter the teaching of.... gravity and stuff like that.

It is supremely arrogant for the fundamentalists to say that just because they happen to believe something, it must be presented as an "alternate theory". The truth is not neutral.

I give you Intelligent Falling.

damn you... my IQ just dropped a few points from reading that!

Good thing you didn't read about the fundamentalists' protest to repeal the second Law of Thermodynamics then.

otaku

USA

January 2004

JAN 14, 2007 10:44 AM

Subrosa said:

Frosty's a dumbass.

There's never a battery-operated hairdrier when you really need one.

Chainlink

Key West, FL

August 2005

JAN 14, 2007 11:16 AM

darwinsjoke said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

thaddeusmutton said:

68stretch said:

the film could only be shown if ... a "credible, legitimate opposing view" is also presented.

I give you Intelligent Falling.

damn you... my IQ just dropped a few points from reading that!

Good thing you didn't read about the fundamentalists' protest to repeal the second Law of Thermodynamics then.

I don't have a lot of respect or high expectations from our beloved religious right, but we're citing articles from the Onion to discredit them ?

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JAN 14, 2007 01:33 PM

Subrosa said:

Frosty's a dumbass.

That was really my only reaction to this story. None of it surprised me except his name being Frosty.

Seriously?!? Frosty?!?

Bwa-hahahahaha!

darwinsjoke

Virginia Beach, VA

July 2003

JAN 14, 2007 03:53 PM

chainlink said:

darwinsjoke said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

thaddeusmutton said:

68stretch said:

the film could only be shown if ... a "credible, legitimate opposing view" is also presented.

I give you Intelligent Falling.

damn you... my IQ just dropped a few points from reading that!

Good thing you didn't read about the fundamentalists' protest to repeal the second Law of Thermodynamics then.

I don't have a lot of respect or high expectations from our beloved religious right, but we're citing articles from the Onion to discredit them ?

Did you not notice that the first link was from the onion as well? I think you might have missed the joke then.

Chainlink

Key West, FL

August 2005

JAN 14, 2007 04:11 PM

darwinsjoke said:

chainlink said:

darwinsjoke said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

thaddeusmutton said:

68stretch said:

the film could only be shown if ... a "credible, legitimate opposing view" is also presented.

I give you Intelligent Falling.

damn you... my IQ just dropped a few points from reading that!

Good thing you didn't read about the fundamentalists' protest to repeal the second Law of Thermodynamics then.

I don't have a lot of respect or high expectations from our beloved religious right, but we're citing articles from the Onion to discredit them ?

Did you not notice that the first link was from the onion as well? I think you might have missed the joke then.

No , I noticed. I just wasn't sure if either you guys were seriously citing these articles or sharing jokes. The funniness kind of evaporates away when it's so close to what Christian fundies really do.

NickFaust

USA

April 2004

JAN 14, 2007 05:15 PM

chainlink said:
No , I noticed. I just wasn't sure if either you guys were seriously citing these articles or sharing jokes. The funniness kind of evaporates away when it's so close to what Christian fundies really do.

Yes indeed, the Christian right in America takes all of the funny out of irony and satire.

theedgewalker

Antioch, IL

May 2006

JAN 16, 2007 03:16 PM

darwinsjoke said:

MschfMayhemSoap said:

thaddeusmutton said:

68stretch said:

the film could only be shown if ... a "credible, legitimate opposing view" is also presented.

I give you Intelligent Falling.

damn you... my IQ just dropped a few points from reading that!

Good thing you didn't read about the fundamentalists' protest to repeal the second Law of Thermodynamics then.

Ok, I must say that I love Christian "Scientists", because if all scientists just said, 'well, we don't understand this at the moment and the math doesn't quite work, so it must be the act of god' then we'd be much farther along than we are now, I mean, we never would have had to realize that sickness is usually caused by chemical imbalances, or living things called virus's and bacteria. Wouldn't the world be a lot better without virus's and bacteria? And to go along with that:

"Were the second law to be repealed, random particles would collect and organize themselves instead of dissipating, which could affect such basic processes as combustion, digestion, evaporation, convection%u2013that sort of thing," Columbia University superstring theorist Dr. Brian Greene said. "There wouldn't be much sunlight, either, because all stars, including our sun, would be collecting photons from surrounding space instead of emitting solar radiation. Oh, and the universe would begin to contract rather than expand, which could possibly turn back the flow of time itself, sending our cosmos spiraling inward toward a reverse Big Bang, a sort of 'Big Crunch,' if you will."

This has to be one of the worst arguments I've ever heard from someone argueing for science against theology, because he insinuates that we could change the laws of physics simply by saying that we don't believe them to exist. If that were true, I'd stop believing in gravity, and the fact that our bodies die without air, because then I'd be more than capable of flying around the universe and having plenty of fun.