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Fat and Gross New York Decides To Punish Taste

TUESDAY DECEMBER 5 2006 10:00 PM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

TAGS: Trans fats, New York,

New York has launched a brutal war against taste. Today health authorities decided to ban restaurants from using trans fats in a pathetic attempt to improve the health of their fat citizens. It�s the first ban on trans fats in the US and a hateful blow against cakes.

Restaurants have just 18 months to stop using the oil or presumably they will be burned to the ground and the employees murdered with hatchets. The City Health Commissioner claims residents wanted the ban, except for Jimmy �Pie� Gusseppi.

The main sources of trans fats are cakes, cookies, crackers, pies, bread, and margarine. The US Food and Drug Administration claims trans fat raises the level of "bad" cholesterol in the blood and increases the risk of heart attacks and other fat guy problems. 20% of Americans are currently obese.

Mayor Bloomberg was fired up about the decision that will make cookies taste like wood.

"We are trying to make that food safer and if you can do it without trans fats, you'll save... a couple of hundred lives a year in New York City.�

Whatever, hippie. Sadly New York isn�t the only place for this horrible trend. In October KFC announced it would switch to a more healthy oil without trans fats. And the Colonel cried in his casket.

81 Comments

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_panda_

I'm lost

November 2005

DEC 05, 2006 10:22 PM

Shweew!

I thought this was going to be a thread about me and that chick from the flava flav show.

Geisterfaust

Tempe, AZ

June 2006

DEC 05, 2006 10:25 PM

Only 20%? My guess would've been higher. So, in a sad way, I'm pleasantly surprised.

DieWhiteGirls

Madison, WI

July 2005

DEC 05, 2006 10:30 PM

I see. Getting fat is a bad thing, but inhaling carcinogens at $7 (?) a pack is just fine. Tell Bloomberg to go fuck himself. I can't believe I'm rooting for a Republican, but someone get Guiliani back in office.

JimPossible

Clarkston, GA

August 2002

DEC 05, 2006 10:46 PM

I can be fat, dumb and happy if I want to. *eats a sammich*

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA

February 2004

DEC 05, 2006 10:49 PM

arrrrrrg! way to ruin everything good in this world!

curtisology

USA

April 2006

DEC 05, 2006 10:53 PM

Couple this with the article on buses smelling like warm cookies, and there's a problem brewing.

fdnymedic

Brooklyn, NY

December 2003

DEC 05, 2006 10:54 PM

this is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard...leave it up the the consumer if they want to eat it or not...beside heriditary plays a bigger part in bad cholesterol than diet and lifestyle...why not kill babies born to parents with bad cholestol family genes to keep the level of elevated cholesterol down.

magpieboy

Seattle, WA

June 2004

DEC 05, 2006 11:07 PM

I don't know, I'm against all y'all... I'm not really for the regulation, but trans-fats are recent and they suck. They're processed veggie oil and their primary value is in making foods (packaged foods) last longer without going rancid (and still tasting yummy). Why would you use margarine when you could use butter? FUCKING BUTTER ROCKS.

emotedcreations

Germany

July 2006

DEC 05, 2006 11:09 PM

I'm curious as to why the 'NY health authorities' feel they have the power to implement such a ban. I think it raises some interesting issues especially when A) there was not a vote on it (obviously being the most important and B) they're allowed to smoke?

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

New Mexico, USA

DEC 05, 2006 11:12 PM

I should move to NY.
I have no sense of smell ergo my sense of taste sucks ergo I have a bland and boring diet. This would be perfect for me.

Sebastien

I'm lost

February 2005

DEC 05, 2006 11:19 PM

If the Mexicans think they can outwork us and the Chinese think they can outsmart us and the Arabs think they can outfight us they got another thing coming. Let's do this America!

magpieboy

Seattle, WA

June 2004

DEC 05, 2006 11:34 PM

Wait a minute, I don't think you can smoke in NY... Am I wrong? At least, not in bars and restaurants anymore. Least not in Ithaca.

thrash242

Pearland, TX

September 2004

DEC 05, 2006 11:36 PM

Hooray nanny state! We can't make our own decisions, so please save us from ourselves!

In all seriousness, this is disturbing on so many levels.

jonzes

Madison, WI

July 2003

DEC 05, 2006 11:44 PM

Trans fat oils arn't any tasteryer, they just last longer in the fryer and are cheaper. The only food this hurts tastes like garbage anyway, so what's with the knee-jerk libertarian-o-bitching?

If they wanted it to taste great and make you fat as hell, lard and butter are still 100% fine.

s5

STAFF

San Francisco, CA

DEC 06, 2006 12:02 AM

Trans-fats are industrial waste, not food. They don't taste any better than trans-fat free vegetable oils and margarines. The only difference is that hydrogenated oils (aka trans-fats) are slightly more convenient for food service. Without trans-fats, food is safer, and you lose absolutely nothing, not even flavor. There's no trade-off.

So really, you won't miss trans-fats. You probably don't even know what they taste like. And if you could taste the difference, you wouldn't prefer them. They're a cheap alternative that exist purely for commercial convenience.

It's really funny to hear people scream about this. Fighting for trans-fats is like fighting for bread baked with rat shit or the right to wash restaurant cookware with urine.

(And for anyone interested, the difference in flavor is that hydrogenated oils leave a sticky, waxy residue on the tongue. It's not a sensation that people seek out.)

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