News > Politics > American Beats Down Jesus Again

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MONDAY NOVEMBER 27 2006 9:00 AM

American Beats Down Jesus Again

Tags: Maine, Supreme Court, School Vouchers, Jesus

Monday was an ugly day for the Lord Jesus Christ. The Supreme Court basically spit in Jesuss eye when it rejected a case from Maine about school choice. Our crazy religious friends were hoping this case was going to be the big one and blow the doors open for public funding of private religious schools. They were wrong because of something called the Constitution.

In Maine, school districts in 145 small towns with no high schools offer tuition for 17,000 students to attend high schools of their choice, public or private, in-state or out-of-state. But religious schools are no longer on the list.

Asking the court to take the case, a conservative group, the Institute for Justice, is representing eight Maine families who would receive public tuition funds but for the fact that their children attend religious schools.

A Maine state law bars the use of public funds to send students to private religious schools. Jesus would have been so mad. So, just like the Lord would have done, opponents of the law sued. They hoped the Supreme Court would take the case and spank Maine for their pagan ways. But the Supreme Court is under the power of Lucifer, the dark lord of the nether region.

The Maine Supreme Court ruled last may that the religious school restriction is legal. The Court stated the law was about respect for the Constitution and not hostility toward religion. The baby Jesus then cried. The US Supreme Court ruled in 2004 in favor of a Washington state scholarship program that did not allow the funds to be used for a devotional theology degree.

Maine used to enjoy the Lord Jesus Christ. When Maines tuition system was set up in 1879, almost all private schools were religious. But in 1980, Satan intervened and the state attorney general declared the program to be unconstitutional and the Legislature passed the current law.

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Comments

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

NOV 27, 2006 09:42 AM

But what will this mean for the School of Voodoo Economics?

Southside

Coraopolis, PA

September 2006

NOV 27, 2006 09:54 AM

But the Supreme Court is under the power of Lucifer, the dark lord of the nether region.

I don't know about you, but I know Lucifer is the dark lord of my nether regions.

ortho7117

Charlotte, NC

April 2004

NOV 27, 2006 10:15 AM

Cool, now we know what FTR looks like!

DieWhiteGirls

Madison, WI

July 2005

NOV 27, 2006 10:23 AM

ortho7117 said:
Cool, now we know what FTR looks like!

FTR is a Western misrepresentation of Jesus Christ himself? I knew that fucker had a Messianic Complex, but whoa...

ChiTownGuy32

Colfax, IA

October 2005

NOV 27, 2006 10:49 AM

lol @ the pictures

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ

June 2003

NOV 27, 2006 11:21 AM

Today I learned that Lucifer is the dark lord of vaginas.
Thanks FTR!

HorseheadFiddle

San Diego, CA

October 2004

NOV 27, 2006 11:39 AM

"The baby jesus then cried"

hahhahaha.

Quirky

Birmingham, AL

October 2005

NOV 27, 2006 11:48 AM

is FTR Missy's hubby? I've had a hunch he is, for the longest time.

IgnorantProdigy

Naples, FL

June 2006

NOV 27, 2006 01:23 PM

Everybody knows carbon dating is manipulated by the devil. If these kids don't get schooled by Jesus we will never get back to the glory of god and trickle down economics.

joeywrists

Lake Grove, NY

March 2006

NOV 27, 2006 02:31 PM

im confused if the state is giving the families money because they dont have high schools. does that mean the families pay school taxes and then just get them back, if thats the case then it shouldnt matter where the kids go. im so confused

mattmar

United Kingdom

November 2004

NOV 27, 2006 02:35 PM

It's amazing that these secular bastards even find time to pass their Godless laws in between planting fake 'Dinosaur' fossils in deserts to test our faith.
x

stluv1

Minneapolis, MN

December 2002

NOV 27, 2006 02:41 PM

By the way, there are some Christians on this site who have a clearer understanding of what Jesus would say from reading what Jesus really said and probably would say concerning issues of church versus state issues. Here is an example on the issues concerning the issue. I think Jesus would strongly endorse such separation by with verse alone. Enjoy.
It is amazing what people would tell you what Jesus say or do instead of pointing you directly to what the Bible says said. Interpret at your own risk.

15Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. "Teacher," they said, "we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?"
18But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, "You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19Show me the coin used for paying the tax." They brought him a denarius, 20and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"

21"Caesar's," they replied.
Then he said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

22When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.