News > Politics > Pope Called Us Violent, CRUCIFY HIM!

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FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 22 2006 2:47 PM

Pope Called Us Violent, CRUCIFY HIM!

Submitted by Sean

Edited by Sean

Tags: pope, islam, logic

A few weeks ago the Pope put on one of his outfits he bought at an Elton John garage sale and gave a speech about God and Jesus and rationality and vIolence. Usually when the Pope gives a speech people nap and when he's finished everyone forgets what he said and he goes and fucks a nine year old altar boy to unwind from the big presentation. This time was different though.

This time the Pope spoke about how the Catholic God was rational and peaceful and how not all God's are the same. You can pretty much sum up his speech with this excerpt:

Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul. God is not pleased by blood, and not acting reasonably is contrary to God's nature.

He then went on to say that Allah, the Muslim God, was not the same, and that Muslims are at times both violent and unreasonable in the name of their God.

Muslims the world over were offended by this hateful speech and to show the holy boyfucker how he wrong he was, they did what Muslims do best, they acted violently and unreasonably.

This Muslim reaction makes about as much sense as Catholics across the world fucking little boys to protest my description of the Pope in this article, but no one ever confused an Imam and that guy on Star Trek with the pointy ears.

Muslims burn an effigy of the Pope in one of thousand of violent protests across the world proving their reasonableness and peacefulness.

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Comments

Short

Sacramento, CA

September 2005

SEP 22, 2006 02:53 PM

the legitimacy of this article is sadly overshadowed by the use of the word 'boyfucker'.

does journalistic integrity fuck boys too?

and yes, i know this isn't a newspaper or anything, but come on

MrCrisp

I'm lost

August 2004

SEP 22, 2006 02:55 PM

i liked it better when i couldn't understand a thing the pope was mumbling.

MschfMayhemSoap

Phoenix, AZ

April 2006

SEP 22, 2006 02:58 PM

MrCrisp said:
i liked it better when i couldn't understand a thing the pope was mumbling.

New Pope, new set o' dentures.

I have not read the Qu'ran(sp?), but doesnt Alllah preach peace and tolerance instead of outright violence towards anyone?

Jksafn

Euless, TX

July 2004

SEP 22, 2006 03:00 PM

The Pope is on a roll.

legionnaire

Belgium

November 2003

SEP 22, 2006 03:03 PM

MschfMayhemSoap said:

MrCrisp said:
i liked it better when i couldn't understand a thing the pope was mumbling.

New Pope, new set o' dentures.

I have not read the Qu'ran(sp?), but doesnt Alllah preach peace and tolerance instead of outright violence towards anyone?

Not really. The Koran is full of "warriors of allah" and "conversions by the sword" type talk. Kind of like the bible is full of smiting and plagues and such.

Both books have their high points, and there's a fair amount of "love thy neighbor" in each, but tempered with a goodly degree of "smash thy neighbor" as well.