News > Politics > Ice is a Pussy

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FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 22 2006 11:00 AM

European scientists revealed one of the most exciting pieces of news in quite some time: Ships can now sail unhindered from Europe to the North Pole without all that pesky ice getting in the way. Huge patches of ice-free sea now stretch from Norway and the Russian Arctic to the North Pole.

Scientists discovered this wonderful development by analyzing satellite images taken in late August. The brand new ice-free zone is larger than the British Isles but the food is better in the ice-free zone.

"This situation is unlike anything observed in previous record low-ice seasons," said Mark Drinkwater of ESA's Oceans/Ice Unit.

Someone call the Guinness Book of World Records! But sadly, the open water has begun to freeze again as something called autumn approaches. But odds are the water will be back next year, as the northern polar ice cover has been getting smaller for 25 years. Between 2004 and 2005 Arctic ice shrank by one seventh, which illustrates how we are winning the war against ice.

The new ice free water will create transpolar passages that countries such as Canada, Russia and the United States will claim rights over. The US will obviously win that confrontation because most Russians are drunk and Canada is our bitch.

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Comments

RubberSoul

Los Angeles, CA

February 2003

SEP 22, 2006 11:06 AM

Why would anyone want to sail to the North Pole, to visit Santa Claus?

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA

April 2006

SEP 22, 2006 11:09 AM

Um, I guess the Northwest Passage is finally a reality? (Just take out the West part).

dreu

USA

August 2006

SEP 22, 2006 11:11 AM

Al Gore was right.

MC_Dove

Cincinnati, OH

November 2004

SEP 22, 2006 11:26 AM

Dreu said:
Al Gore was right.

we...we didn't listen!

Krass_of_nod

Bend, OR

April 2005

SEP 22, 2006 11:34 AM

uh, yeh...the current state of affairs is killing our planet, has been since the 70's noboody seems to giver a fuck though. I supose everyone will start caring when there is no clean air or water, then everyone is going to be up in arms about it......idiots

uproot

San Diego, CA

June 2004

SEP 22, 2006 11:34 AM

Dove said:
we...we didn't listen!

we didn't listen! i'm super serial!!

RudieCantFail

I'm lost

January 2006

SEP 22, 2006 11:39 AM

Dove said:

Dreu said:
Al Gore was right.

we...we didn't listen!

We should have taken him more serial.

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX

May 2006

SEP 22, 2006 11:46 AM

Then you take the polar ice caps into the place of lovemaking...

rebel_rebel

Orlando, FL

October 2004

SEP 22, 2006 12:10 PM

his name is "Drinkwater" hahaha!

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

SEP 22, 2006 12:33 PM

rebel_rebel said:
his name is "Drinkwater" hahaha!

Yeah, I was surprised no one had pointed that out yet.