It Isn't Suicide -- It's Viral Marketing!

When it comes to our little Boy Scout camp down at Guantanamo Bay, it is undeniable that the United States hold all the high cards—we're the guards, the rulemakers, the providers of lemon chicken and two types of fruit. We hold men without charges or the prospect of trials, and without rights that would be covered under the Geneva Convention. So when a few Guantanamo inmates decide to off themselves, as was the case this past weekend, what is our reaction?

Were the suicides an act of desperation? Nope. A sign that the situation at Guantanamo needs to be reviewed, and soon? Nope. A calculated act in which we—the wardens and chicken chefs—are the victims? Yeah, that will work just fine.

From Rear Admiral Harry Harris, commander of Guantanamo:

"They have no regard to life, neither ours nor their own. And I believe this was not an act of desperation, rather an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us."
Asymmetric warfare? That's pretty impressive coming from people who have been locked in cells for over three years. Let's get another opinion from an official at the oh-so-sensible State Department:

The official, Colleen P. Graffy, deputy assistant secretary of state for public diplomacy, made the comments in an interview on the British Broadcasting Corporation program "Newshour" on Sunday, a day after two Saudis and a Yemeni hanged themselves in their cells.

"Taking their own lives was not necessary, but it certainly is a good P.R. move," Ms. Graffy said. "It does sound like this is part of a strategy — in that they don't value their own lives, and they certainly don't value ours; and they use suicide bombings as a tactic."

The money part of that last quote is that Graffy's job responsibilities include—wait for it—"improving the United States' image abroad, especially in Islamic countries, according to her biography on the State Department Web site."

Heckuva job. Really.

Considering the inability of some people in the government to look at these suicides for the acts of desperation they are, it wouldn't be surprising to see it spun as something completely different tomorrow: a college prank, maybe? Too much Grand Theft Auto? Or a terrorist viral marketing campaign to rival Snakes on a Plane? You never know, though it would be awfully amusing to hear Samuel L. Jackson yelling out "Suicides in motherfucking Guantanamo!"

web address: http://suicidegirls.com/news/politics/16704/It-Isnt-Suicide----Its-Viral-Marketing/