News > Politics > It Isn't Suicide -- It's Viral Marketing!

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TUESDAY JUNE 13 2006 11:00 AM

It Isn't Suicide -- It's Viral Marketing!

When it comes to our little Boy Scout camp down at Guantanamo Bay, it is undeniable that the United States hold all the high cardswe're the guards, the rulemakers, the providers of lemon chicken and two types of fruit. We hold men without charges or the prospect of trials, and without rights that would be covered under the Geneva Convention. So when a few Guantanamo inmates decide to off themselves, as was the case this past weekend, what is our reaction?

Were the suicides an act of desperation? Nope. A sign that the situation at Guantanamo needs to be reviewed, and soon? Nope. A calculated act in which wethe wardens and chicken chefsare the victims? Yeah, that will work just fine.

From Rear Admiral Harry Harris, commander of Guantanamo:

"They have no regard to life, neither ours nor their own. And I believe this was not an act of desperation, rather an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us."

Asymmetric warfare? That's pretty impressive coming from people who have been locked in cells for over three years. Let's get another opinion from an official at the oh-so-sensible State Department:

The official, Colleen P. Graffy, deputy assistant secretary of state for public diplomacy, made the comments in an interview on the British Broadcasting Corporation program "Newshour" on Sunday, a day after two Saudis and a Yemeni hanged themselves in their cells.

"Taking their own lives was not necessary, but it certainly is a good P.R. move," Ms. Graffy said. "It does sound like this is part of a strategy in that they don't value their own lives, and they certainly don't value ours; and they use suicide bombings as a tactic."

The money part of that last quote is that Graffy's job responsibilities includewait for it"improving the United States' image abroad, especially in Islamic countries, according to her biography on the State Department Web site."

Heckuva job. Really.

Considering the inability of some people in the government to look at these suicides for the acts of desperation they are, it wouldn't be surprising to see it spun as something completely different tomorrow: a college prank, maybe? Too much Grand Theft Auto? Or a terrorist viral marketing campaign to rival Snakes on a Plane? You never know, though it would be awfully amusing to hear Samuel L. Jackson yelling out "Suicides in motherfucking Guantanamo!"

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Comments

Phoebus

Italy

OLD SKOOL

JUN 19, 2006 06:01 PM

I think you misunderstood my statement. Gabriel expressed shame over being a co-citizen of Patrick's and his ilk. Shame is an antonym of pride, hence my statement.

I'm not trying to convince Gabriel to be proud of anything; nor am I picking a side between his and Pat's statements. I was simply trying to point out that, as people like Pat are all over the world, being associated with people like him on a very "lowest common denominator" level is inevitable.... and thus not worth stressing out over. Perhaps I was not clear enough.

PS: National pride in and of itself isn't a bad thing. Perhaps our definitions of the word are different. I prefer the American Heritage Dictionary's first example: "A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect." I don't think the above necessitates dressing up like Rocky Balboa in the fourth installment of his movie series. Nor does it require any sort of toeing of lines.