How To Piss Off and Insult an Asian Dude

Really, really good day for the White House yesterday. The Chinese President, Hu Jintao, stopped by for a visit. It was considered a very important trip as the US and China are having some serious trade disagreements.

And this is how the White House handled it.China wanted a formal state visit such as Mr Jiang got, but the Administration refused, calling it an "official" visit instead. Mr Bush acquiesced to the 21-gun salute but insisted on a luncheon instead of a formal dinner, in the East Room instead of the State Dining Room. Even the visiting country's flags were missing from the lampposts near the White House.When Bush visited China recently he received a state visit and dinner. But this is a one way street.

No can do the formal state thing, sorry Honcho. Slap in the face number one. How about we do lunch ‘stead o dinner? Huh? Slap in the face number two. Couldn’t find yer flag, it’s red or somethin,’ right? Slap in the face number three.

Those were the decisions made BEFORE he arrived. Now for the exciting, “Day of Face Slaps.” Let us start with the press conference, where our Vice President took a little nappy.

Slap in the face number four. And it goes on and on...The visit began with a slight when the official announcer said the band would play the "national anthem of the Republic of China" - the official name of Taiwan. It continued when the Vice-President, Dick Cheney, donned sunglasses for the ceremony, and again when Mr Hu, trying to leave the stage via the wrong staircase, was yanked back by his jacket. Mr Hu looked down at his sleeve to see the President of the United States tugging at it as if redirecting an errant child.Oh, shit, that was your enemies name, not yours, right? Slap in the face number five. Sorry about Dick and the glasses, he’s beat. Slap in the face number six. Hey, hey, don’t go that way, stupid! Slap in the face number seven.

We need a BIG FINISH, come on, what can top that...The White House had given press credentials to a Falun Gong activist who five years ago heckled Mr Hu's predecessor, Jiang Zemin, in Malta. Sure enough, 90 seconds into Mr Hu's speech on the South Lawn, the woman started shrieking "President Hu, your days are numbered!" and "President Bush, stop him from killing!"

Mr Bush and Mr Hu looked up, stunned. It took so long to silence her - a full three minutes - that Bush aides began to wonder if the Secret Service's strategy was to let her scream herself hoarse.
Then, why not get all pissy...The meeting in the Oval Office brought more of the same. In front of the cameras, Bush thanked Hu for his "frankness" -- diplomatic code for disagreement -- and Hu stood expressionless. The two unexpectedly agreed to take questions from reporters, but Bush grew impatient as Hu gave a long answer about trade, made all the longer by the translation. Bush at one point tapped his foot on the ground. "It was a very comprehensive answer," he observed when Hu finished.

It’s just one day but it really sums up this Presidency.

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