• news
  • FRIDAY APRIL 21 2006 1:00 PM

How To Piss Off and Insult an Asian Dude

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by Rahodeb

Really, really good day for the White House yesterday. The Chinese President, Hu Jintao, stopped by for a visit. It was considered a very important trip as the US and China are having some serious trade disagreements.

And this is how the White House handled it.

China wanted a formal state visit such as Mr Jiang got, but the Administration refused, calling it an "official" visit instead. Mr Bush acquiesced to the 21-gun salute but insisted on a luncheon instead of a formal dinner, in the East Room instead of the State Dining Room. Even the visiting country's flags were missing from the lampposts near the White House.

When Bush visited China recently he received a state visit and dinner. But this is a one way street.

No can do the formal state thing, sorry Honcho. Slap in the face number one. How about we do lunch ‘stead o dinner? Huh? Slap in the face number two. Couldn’t find yer flag, it’s red or somethin,’ right? Slap in the face number three.

Those were the decisions made BEFORE he arrived. Now for the exciting, “Day of Face Slaps.” Let us start with the press conference, where our Vice President took a little nappy.

Slap in the face number four. And it goes on and on...

The visit began with a slight when the official announcer said the band would play the "national anthem of the Republic of China" - the official name of Taiwan. It continued when the Vice-President, Dick Cheney, donned sunglasses for the ceremony, and again when Mr Hu, trying to leave the stage via the wrong staircase, was yanked back by his jacket. Mr Hu looked down at his sleeve to see the President of the United States tugging at it as if redirecting an errant child.

Oh, shit, that was your enemies name, not yours, right? Slap in the face number five. Sorry about Dick and the glasses, he’s beat. Slap in the face number six. Hey, hey, don’t go that way, stupid! Slap in the face number seven.

We need a BIG FINISH, come on, what can top that...

The White House had given press credentials to a Falun Gong activist who five years ago heckled Mr Hu's predecessor, Jiang Zemin, in Malta. Sure enough, 90 seconds into Mr Hu's speech on the South Lawn, the woman started shrieking "President Hu, your days are numbered!" and "President Bush, stop him from killing!"

Mr Bush and Mr Hu looked up, stunned. It took so long to silence her - a full three minutes - that Bush aides began to wonder if the Secret Service's strategy was to let her scream herself hoarse.


Then, why not get all pissy...

The meeting in the Oval Office brought more of the same. In front of the cameras, Bush thanked Hu for his "frankness" -- diplomatic code for disagreement -- and Hu stood expressionless. The two unexpectedly agreed to take questions from reporters, but Bush grew impatient as Hu gave a long answer about trade, made all the longer by the translation. Bush at one point tapped his foot on the ground. "It was a very comprehensive answer," he observed when Hu finished.



It’s just one day but it really sums up this Presidency.

  • PERMALINK
  • PRINT
  • Digg This
  • Email To A Friend
 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Next

Comments
UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 21, 2006 03:00 PM

here's a few ideas

instead of moaning about how the poor fucking communist leader had to do without the lavish trimmings of a full state visit, howabout moaning about the rank poverty and lack of workers rights in China?

instead of moaning about some announcer referring to the official title of Taiwan, howabout moaning about China's menacing aspirations to invade Taiwan.

Instead of moaning about how a falun gong protestor got a press card, howabout moaning about the fact that those culties get tortured and murdered by the ChiComs?

oops - my mistake - no "Bash Bush" angle in criticising the ChiComs


Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 03:00 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Idjiit said:
Tugged his jacket? Clearly Bush should be taken out and shot.


Are you guys really that desperate for reasons to hate Bush? He's a douche, no doubt, but c'mon.



Um, yeah. If you are an American, no big deal. If you are a Chinese president, then big deal. You see, people in different parts of the world view things differently. Protocol and saving face are extemely important to the Chinese. In this case, that would be considered extemely insulting.



Do you genuinely know how insulting it is on the Chinese insult-o-meter, or are you just guessing? What would be the proper way of saying "You're going the wrong way" in China? "Hey Hu, other way, buddy?" Jumping in front of them? Tap on the shoulder? Flogging with switches?

[Edited on Apr 21, 2006 by Idjiit]

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

USA
December 2005

APR 21, 2006 03:04 PM

Good times at the White House as of late. I won't knock Cheney for the shades though, those hangovers can be brutal.

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

APR 21, 2006 03:10 PM

How about we split the difference and agree that the Bush Administration AND the Chinese government BOTH suck big fat hairy balls?

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 03:16 PM

Keith said:
How about we split the difference and agree that the Bush Administration AND the Chinese government BOTH suck big fat hairy balls?



Hey, it's not like you see any Chinese people complaining.

zoton

zoton

Kuwait
November 2005

APR 21, 2006 03:21 PM

Keith said:
How about we split the difference and agree that the Bush Administration AND the Chinese government BOTH suck big fat hairy balls?



sounds good to me.

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

APR 21, 2006 03:21 PM

Okay... getting the name of the country wrong... that's pretty bad. The rest, all things considered, seem fairly inconsequential.

Unless Cheney really did fall asleep. That would make him kind of a tool. Err... bigger tool.

Juliana

Juliana

SUICIDEGIRL

Saint Lucia

APR 21, 2006 03:35 PM

Idjiit said:

Hey, it's not like you see any Chinese people complaining.



Chinese people complain? ... NEVER

Also, I have to say that I'm sure the Chinese president was insulted by the lack of respect and attention given by our administration. At least a little bit.

How do I know? Dude, my mom would fucking kill me if I forgot to fly her flag whenever she came to visit.


[Edited on Apr 21, 2006 by Juliana]

BurningKrome

BurningKrome

San Jose, CA
April 2005

APR 21, 2006 03:37 PM

zoton said:
The worst part was the fact that the chinese president got better treatment from microsoft than from the white house.... classic url


"Pssst. Hey Biwr, can you bootregg me a copy of Miclosoft Fright Sim?"

Apologies offerred in advance...

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 03:41 PM

Idjiit said:

FearTheReaper said:

Idjiit said:
Tugged his jacket? Clearly Bush should be taken out and shot.


Are you guys really that desperate for reasons to hate Bush? He's a douche, no doubt, but c'mon.



Um, yeah. If you are an American, no big deal. If you are a Chinese president, then big deal. You see, people in different parts of the world view things differently. Protocol and saving face are extemely important to the Chinese. In this case, that would be considered extemely insulting.



Do you genuinely know how insulting it is on the Chinese insult-o-meter, or are you just guessing? What would be the proper way of saying "You're going the wrong way" in China? "Hey Hu, other way, buddy?" Jumping in front of them? Tap on the shoulder? Flogging with switches?

[Edited on Apr 21, 2006 by Idjiit]



Sorry, sometimes I assume people read as much bullshit as I do. There are hundreds of articles regarding protocol and Hu's visit to America that were written BEFORE his trip. Here's just one sample:

In many ways, the most important thing for the visit of the president of China to the United States is protocol," said Michael Green, who stepped down in December as head of Asian affairs for the National Security Council in the Bush administration.
Green helped prepare for the postponed September visit, though not the coming trip.
He estimated that 80 percent of the negotiations in advance of a Chinese leadership trip were about protocol, largely because of Chinese concerns over their domestic television audience.
"The Chinese public, especially out in the provinces, needs and wants to see their leader being shown the fullest respect," said Green, who now teaches international relations at Georgetown University.
Chinese advance teams are meticulously prepared when negotiations commence. Lieberthal said Chinese diplomats kept detailed records on which leader received what during which visit - how many guns saluted a certain leader, what kind of meal was served at the White House, which U.S. official served as the official greeter at the airport.
Each trip must outdo the last.



I assume a "tug on the jacket" would not go over well. But tell me, why did you decide to focus on just one aspect of what went wrong, when clearly the emphasis of the article was about the MANY things that went wrong?

Link

Pete

Pete

United Kingdom
July 2004

APR 21, 2006 03:45 PM

"Uh oh, spaghettios! Sorry Hu!"

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 03:49 PM

UpTight said:
here's a few ideas

instead of moaning about how the poor fucking communist leader had to do without the lavish trimmings of a full state visit, howabout moaning about the rank poverty and lack of workers rights in China?

instead of moaning about some announcer referring to the official title of Taiwan, howabout moaning about China's menacing aspirations to invade Taiwan.

Instead of moaning about how a falun gong protestor got a press card, howabout moaning about the fact that those culties get tortured and murdered by the ChiComs?

oops - my mistake - no "Bash Bush" angle in criticising the ChiComs




Honestly, I'm an American, so that is where my battle is. China's government does not represent me and the falun gong battle is not my fight. I am not concerned with the rank poverty and lack of workers rights in China because ours are eroding here. I live here. I have no position in the Taiwan/China battle over sovereignty.

I think if you invite someone to your house, then you don't treat them like shit. The other option would be not to invite them.

And I also did not write about any of those things because I am not you. I am a different person.

jeffvader

jeffvader

San Diego, CA
November 2004

APR 21, 2006 03:49 PM

china will fuck us in the ass some day...they just need a half billion more people then tehy'll just spill over into europe and eat all those bastards and then they will come for us... kiss

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Canada
November 2002

APR 21, 2006 03:56 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Honestly, I'm an American, so that is where my battle is. China's government does not represent me and the falun gong battle is not my fight. I am not concerned with the rank poverty and lack of workers rights in China because ours are eroding here. I live here. I have no position in the Taiwan/China battle over sovereignty.

I think if you invite someone to your house, then you don't treat them like shit. The other option would be not to invite them.

And I also did not write about any of those things because I am not you. I am a different person.



It's not your problem therefore it's not worth caring about?

That's a little... full of yourself isn't it?

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 04:03 PM

FearTheReaper said:

In many ways, the most important thing for the visit of the president of China to the United States is protocol," said Michael Green, who stepped down in December as head of Asian affairs for the National Security Council in the Bush administration.
Green helped prepare for the postponed September visit, though not the coming trip.
He estimated that 80 percent of the negotiations in advance of a Chinese leadership trip were about protocol, largely because of Chinese concerns over their domestic television audience.
"The Chinese public, especially out in the provinces, needs and wants to see their leader being shown the fullest respect," said Green, who now teaches international relations at Georgetown University.
Chinese advance teams are meticulously prepared when negotiations commence. Lieberthal said Chinese diplomats kept detailed records on which leader received what during which visit - how many guns saluted a certain leader, what kind of meal was served at the White House, which U.S. official served as the official greeter at the airport.
Each trip must outdo the last.



I assume a "tug on the jacket" would not go over well. But tell me, why did you decide to focus on just one aspect of what went wrong, when clearly the emphasis of the article was about the MANY things that went wrong?

Link



Right, you assumed. We've all heard the stories of protocol and know the historic insensitivities of meetings past. The point is that you're making it sound like a capital offense when it may not be that big of a deal when it comes down to it. I noticed that you didn't actually answer my pointed question about what you think the right protocol would be. For all you know Bush may have averted a real disaster by bringing him back - perhaps the protocol for a Chinese leader getting lost on a stage is to commit suicide for such a national embarassment.

And I'm picking on this one thing because I think it's ridiculous, and I'm sick of people analyzing every single fucking thing dickwad Bush does. He's a douchebag. He's a liar. He's a dumbass. We all know it (well, most of us). But these acrid, vehement and incessant jabs at him are just getting old. I know it's your job and all, so carry on, but picking on Bush for tugging on someone's coat seems slightly petty.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Next

featured interviews