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  • FRIDAY APRIL 21 2006 1:00 PM

How To Piss Off and Insult an Asian Dude

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by Rahodeb

Really, really good day for the White House yesterday. The Chinese President, Hu Jintao, stopped by for a visit. It was considered a very important trip as the US and China are having some serious trade disagreements.

And this is how the White House handled it.

China wanted a formal state visit such as Mr Jiang got, but the Administration refused, calling it an "official" visit instead. Mr Bush acquiesced to the 21-gun salute but insisted on a luncheon instead of a formal dinner, in the East Room instead of the State Dining Room. Even the visiting country's flags were missing from the lampposts near the White House.

When Bush visited China recently he received a state visit and dinner. But this is a one way street.

No can do the formal state thing, sorry Honcho. Slap in the face number one. How about we do lunch ‘stead o dinner? Huh? Slap in the face number two. Couldn’t find yer flag, it’s red or somethin,’ right? Slap in the face number three.

Those were the decisions made BEFORE he arrived. Now for the exciting, “Day of Face Slaps.” Let us start with the press conference, where our Vice President took a little nappy.

Slap in the face number four. And it goes on and on...

The visit began with a slight when the official announcer said the band would play the "national anthem of the Republic of China" - the official name of Taiwan. It continued when the Vice-President, Dick Cheney, donned sunglasses for the ceremony, and again when Mr Hu, trying to leave the stage via the wrong staircase, was yanked back by his jacket. Mr Hu looked down at his sleeve to see the President of the United States tugging at it as if redirecting an errant child.

Oh, shit, that was your enemies name, not yours, right? Slap in the face number five. Sorry about Dick and the glasses, he’s beat. Slap in the face number six. Hey, hey, don’t go that way, stupid! Slap in the face number seven.

We need a BIG FINISH, come on, what can top that...

The White House had given press credentials to a Falun Gong activist who five years ago heckled Mr Hu's predecessor, Jiang Zemin, in Malta. Sure enough, 90 seconds into Mr Hu's speech on the South Lawn, the woman started shrieking "President Hu, your days are numbered!" and "President Bush, stop him from killing!"

Mr Bush and Mr Hu looked up, stunned. It took so long to silence her - a full three minutes - that Bush aides began to wonder if the Secret Service's strategy was to let her scream herself hoarse.


Then, why not get all pissy...

The meeting in the Oval Office brought more of the same. In front of the cameras, Bush thanked Hu for his "frankness" -- diplomatic code for disagreement -- and Hu stood expressionless. The two unexpectedly agreed to take questions from reporters, but Bush grew impatient as Hu gave a long answer about trade, made all the longer by the translation. Bush at one point tapped his foot on the ground. "It was a very comprehensive answer," he observed when Hu finished.



It’s just one day but it really sums up this Presidency.

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Comments
seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

APR 21, 2006 01:06 PM

Maybe China should nuke us. We kinda' deserve it I guess!

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

APR 21, 2006 01:18 PM

You forgot to mention Trigger Dick falling asleep during a meeting too!

Guitarsnglasses

Guitarsnglasses

Glendora, CA
July 2005

APR 21, 2006 01:19 PM

Handled exactly the way I would expect it to be. We need some better leaders.

Idjit

Idjit

HOPEFUL

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 01:21 PM

Tugged his jacket? Clearly Bush should be taken out and shot.


Are you guys really that desperate for reasons to hate Bush? He's a douche, no doubt, but c'mon.

wottan

wottan

Vancouver, BC
July 2004

APR 21, 2006 01:25 PM

Idjiit said:


Tugged his jacket? Clearly Bush should be taken out and shot.



Its all secret world-leader code, we're just lucky he didnt drop his napkin.



[Edited on Apr 21, 2006 by wottan]

OpticNerve

OpticNerve

Arlington, MA
November 2003

APR 21, 2006 01:28 PM

Thank Buddha that Dubya didn't mention the small wee-wee thing.

zoton

zoton

Kuwait
November 2005

APR 21, 2006 01:33 PM

The worst part was the fact that the chinese president got better treatment from microsoft than from the white house.... classic url

Pwndcake

Pwndcake

Portland, OR
October 2004

APR 21, 2006 01:51 PM

zoton said:
The worst part was the fact that the chinese president got better treatment from microsoft than from the white house.... classic url


That may help explain the poor treatment from the administration. Didn't the Chinese President visit Bill Gates before the White House?

Oninotaki

oninotaki

Ypsilanti, MI
March 2003

APR 21, 2006 01:53 PM

Bushes and people of importance in Asia just dont mix puke

Bev_Antain

Bev_Antain

Italy
February 2004

APR 21, 2006 02:14 PM

I wonder what would have happened if this had gone the other way around.

zoton

zoton

Kuwait
November 2005

APR 21, 2006 02:18 PM

Mach1n3_Kain said:
I wonder what would have happened if this had gone the other way around.



We would be looking for WMDs in china !
Then telling them we are spreading democracy!

theseeman

theseeman

Asheville, NC
December 2002

APR 21, 2006 02:26 PM

Fuck the Chinese Goverment. And fuck Stalinists.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 21, 2006 02:49 PM

Idjiit said:
Tugged his jacket? Clearly Bush should be taken out and shot.


Are you guys really that desperate for reasons to hate Bush? He's a douche, no doubt, but c'mon.



Um, yeah. If you are an American, no big deal. If you are a Chinese president, then big deal. You see, people in different parts of the world view things differently. Protocol and saving face are extemely important to the Chinese. In this case, that would be considered extemely insulting.

But if you need to dismiss a totally inept display of diplomacy as "you people hate Bush" by all means...

KushielsScion

KushielsScion

Gardendale, AL
May 2004

APR 21, 2006 02:51 PM

I'm on the "fuck the PRC" band wagon. We should grant full diplomatic status to real REPUBLIC of China and to hell with the others. They don't like it, well they need our markets more than we need their cheap shit and we have more than enough bombs for the whole world, so war is a moot point.

Moonrabbit

Moonrabbit

Vancouver, BC
February 2005

APR 21, 2006 02:52 PM

theseeman said:
Fuck the Chinese Goverment. And fuck Stalinists.



Wake up. Fuck all governments. Really now. Name one good governement in office right now.

And Rampage. What isn't made in China? North america is not self sufficient, at all.

Can the people of America not initiate impeechment? If not. then everybody should put on Guy Fawkes masks and black cloaks then charge the whitehouse.
Or can we come up with a more american figure to dress up as?

[Edited on Apr 21, 2006 5:54PM]

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