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  • WEDNESDAY JUNE 29 2005 12:52 PM

100 Greatest Pop Songs According to Morons

Submitted by Keith

Edited by Keith

A crack team at Rolling Stone and MTV, which I can only assume consisted of several monkies to whom electric shocks were applied, has farted out yet another execrable 'list': "The 100 Greatest Pop Songs Since 1963", and boy, is it a stinker. In fact, this may be the worst list I've ever seen. This list drops trou and shits all over the face of anyone who ever loved pop music.

The top ten:

01 The Beatles - Yesterday
02 Rolling Stones - Satisfaction
03 Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
04 Madonna - Like A Virgin
05 Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
06 The Beatles-I Want To Hold Your Hand
07 Aretha Franklin - Respect
08 U2 - With or Without You
09 The Jackson 5 - I Want You Back
10 Backstreet boys - I Want It That Way


If you haven't had your blood-pressure spike for today, the rest of the list is here, with downloads for every song.

I don't even know where to start. For one thing, any list of the greatest pop songs since 1963 that doesn't have at least five Beach Boys songs in the top 25 is worthless, and this list has only ONE, "Good Vibrations", at a postively insulting #70 -- after fucking Garbage -- literally! I could make a convincing case for "Good Vibrations" at #1, and I think even Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson's biggest fan, would rate it higher than "Yesterday".

I may not know much about music, but I do know that the top ten of a list of the greatest pop songs shouldn't have just two black artists on it. Where's the fifty fucking Motown songs that ought to be here? Stax/volt? Not one song from Phil Spector?? Backstreet Boys in the top ten? "Hotel California"? "When Doves Cry" at only #27, one rank above "MMMbop"?

Someone get me a drink.

(Hat-tip: brooklynvegan)

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Comments
EndedBen

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI
August 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:06 PM

PointBlank said:
Hey, Santana--you had to "feature Rob Thomas" to make the list, how's that feel?




Dear PointBlank

I'm rich.

Love,
Santana

walkswithbears

walkswithbears

United Kingdom
March 2003

JUN 29, 2005 01:07 PM

I'll wait for The 100 Greatest Pop Songs According to Mormons.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:07 PM

crispy said:
surreal

Like it changes what you believe to be good music.
Why do people feel the need to shit on other peoples' opinions?

Does it really have any impact on you? No.
Does it alter history in any way? No.

*shakes head and walks away*


So... they publish a list and we should just look at it and nod our heads, muttering "Very interesting..."?

EndedBen

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI
August 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:07 PM

walkswithbears said:
I'll wait for The 100 Greatest Pop Songs According to Mormons.



Nothing but Osmonds, Osmonds, Osmonds!

And the Used.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

JUN 29, 2005 01:08 PM

PointBlank said:
I don't see anything wrong with that list.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Fooled you!



Neither do I.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
But only because the atrocity of its error has fucking blinded me. mad

Keith

Keith

Hooker, OK
August 2002

JUN 29, 2005 01:10 PM

Cigarette said:

crispy said:
surreal

Like it changes what you believe to be good music.
Why do people feel the need to shit on other peoples' opinions?

Does it really have any impact on you? No.
Does it alter history in any way? No.

*shakes head and walks away*


So... they publish a list and we should just look at it and nod our heads, muttering "Very interesting..."?



What gets me is these "experts" got paid to do this shit! And they get to be the "voice of authority" on this shit to some (stupid) people!

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

JUN 29, 2005 01:14 PM

Keith said:

Cigarette said:

crispy said:
surreal

Like it changes what you believe to be good music.
Why do people feel the need to shit on other peoples' opinions?

Does it really have any impact on you? No.
Does it alter history in any way? No.

*shakes head and walks away*


So... they publish a list and we should just look at it and nod our heads, muttering "Very interesting..."?



What gets me is these "experts" got paid to do this shit! And they get to be the "voice of authority" on this shit to some (stupid) people!



Still.... what a great job. What I want to know is, where do I send my resumé? confused

EndedBen

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI
August 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:15 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
Still.... what a great job. What I want to know is, where do I send my resumé? confused



You have to become a has-been first.

Terrorist

Terrorist

USA
November 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:16 PM

Is everyone overlooking the fact that the list is of "pop" songs?
I don't think it has anything to do with artistic merit.

Word to Billie Jean at number 5 though!

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:16 PM

Half these songs... they aren't even the best songs by those artists!

Keith

Keith

Hooker, OK
August 2002

JUN 29, 2005 01:17 PM

Terrorist said:
Is everyone overlooking the fact that the list is of "pop" songs?
I don't think it has anything to do with artistic merit.



Pop music is, in my opinion, one of the highest and most sacred forms of musical expression.

EndedBen

EndedBen

Grand Rapids, MI
August 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:19 PM

Terrorist said:
Is everyone overlooking the fact that the list is of "pop" songs?
I don't think it has anything to do with artistic merit.



Try writing a perfect pop hook sometime and tell me about artistic merit.

DireChocobo

DireChocobo

Fairburn, GA
July 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:19 PM

Damn. Damn damn. Too bad this will only raise their credibility with the jackass teenie bopper crowd.

Britney Spears over Prince. For shame.

trocc

trocc

Chicago, IL
March 2003

JUN 29, 2005 01:20 PM

is it just me, or has Rolling Stone been publishing some sort of "Classic" list now at least every third issue? it begins to lose any significance at all...

Terrorist

Terrorist

USA
November 2004

JUN 29, 2005 01:21 PM

SuperNintendo said:
Try writing a perfect pop hook sometime and tell me about artistic merit.



I'm still trying to master Commercial Jingles.... but one day.... one day I tell you!!

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