The great thing about the music business and bands on the road is that pretty much everybody has a useful tip for something. One of the most important things you can do is open your mind to the possibility that you can learn something from anywhere.

It's easy to be open to learning something from me, right? I've been in a bunch of bands, I have dreadlocks, and I wrote a book. What about admitting to yourself that you might have something to learn from the opening band? I mean, they're opening for you, right? What could you possibly learn from them?

Case in point is self-proclaimed international experts on Ovis aries and pharmaceuticals, the brilliantly named Sheep on Drugs (pickled in alcohol as they may be). These not very sheep-like rockers studiously demonstrated the fact that when you drink lots and lots of vodka your sweat starts to smell like vodka. However it was in their pursuit of cash to fund their beverage experimentation that I leant a second, even more key lesson. It was at their merchandise booth that I first saw the concept of the begging bowl interfaced with delightful, disarming honesty that extracted money from everyone who walked past: "Alcohol Fund -- Please give generously."



This tip alone has saved many an evening, and filled many a empty gas tank, stomach, heart, and mind at the end of a grueling day on the road. It is priceless.

We wanted to hear more of these stories so we launched a contest at SXSW. We asked attendees for their nuggets of wisdom -- the person that came up with the most helpful, relevant and/or unique tip would win $4000 worth of really great gear (free being one of the best kinds of gear).

People from all over the world shared brilliant ideas, from the ethereal talking about the spiritual crusade that bands embark upon to the much more down to earth, who shared gems like, "Buy large bottles of Gatorade to use as portable truckers piss buckets to reduce the number of pit-stops during long drives." -- Glorious one and all.

(Note: I've seen the other end of this double-edged sword when, on the road with Dope somebody mistook a lime flavored Gatorade bottle filled with piss for a lime flavored Gatorade. Oh how we laughed, but that is the kind of stuff that breaks up a band.)

There were some tips that were repeated in different ways by different people, all boy-scout-ish in nature:

* Be prepared

* Expect the unexpected (usually instantly ridiculed only by those that have never been on the road)

* Find friends first and musicians second

* Treat your audience as if they were the band and instead of being in the band imagine you are fans of your audience.

That is a great way to describe the reverse of the traditional audience/band relationship and how it should work. It conveniently takes into account that bands should be humble and treasure even the smallest audience and not complain to all who will listen that another 90 (or 900) people should have showed up.

There was also some terrific advice that sadly didn't make the short-list/potentially prize-winning cut:

* Jeff Sheppard from the Sarah & Jeff show wrote "GET ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE! (CAA or AAA)." Which is so much of a no-brainer that it sometimes gets forgotten.

* Emilio Castellanos said, "No matter what happens record everything." (Does not apply if your name is Richard Nixon.)

* John Thomas said, "Just get started. It's easier to change or correct course than it is to get your butt off the couch for the first time." I really liked that too.

* And, "Have a sense of humor in one hand and a big stick in the other and whatever you do don't let anyone know you have a credit card," from Sean Rial -- this made me laugh a LOT!

Surprisingly, one idea that wasn't addressed in the hundreds of entries was something that took me a long time to get to: The Customer Is Always Right.

I couldn't understand how a show that I knew was flawed, where the sound was bad, where someone had obviously fucked up, where things weren't right (or at least not the way they were supposed to be) could seem amazing and enjoyable to anyone. I've gotten into countless arguments with someone who said, "That's the best show I've ever seen." I've spent a lot of energy explaining why it wasn't, going on at length, "If only you had seen us three nights earlier with better sound, better lights, better voices, better, more focused laser light energy, better crowd, less bad notes, more height from the jumps..." The end result being what.....? A confused audience member who just had a great experience explained away and a confused band member convincing fans one at time that we were unworthy.

After years of this, I figured it out. The customer, it turns out, is always right. So when your shambolic 25th show comes to an untimely end, a drum kit falls over, the singer fails to hit high notes and the bass player struggling with only two strings left on his lack-luster bass guitar duels with the incompetent guitarist shredding (except that his guitar isn't plugged in) and somebody says, "That was great!" - it was. And who the fuck are you to take that away from anybody?

Be humble. Be nice. And even though you're not selling anything to anyone anymore, remember the customer is always right.

If you want to read all the rest of tips (and you can vote too) the top 52 are HERE. I encourage you to leave your own tip too. You won't be entered in the competition to win $4000 worth of equipment from PreSonus, Pearl Drums, Dean Guitars, or Trueline Drumsticks (you've missed the boat on that one), but you'll earn a place in my heart forever and who knows, your piece of advice might be the one that saves someone's ass one day.


Martin Atkins has drummed with PiL, Killing Joke, Ministry, Nine Inch Nails, Pigface, and The Damage Manual, among others. As owner of the now 20-year old Invisible Records, he has worked with artists such as Thrill Kill Kult, Einsturzende Neubauten, Chemlab, Chris Connelly, Sheep On Drugs, Murder Inc, and Psychic TV. Martin teaches a course on Business of Touring at Columbia College in Chicago, IL, and has written a survival guide for touring bands, Tour Smart: And Break The Band, which features contributions from Henry Rollins, Cynthia Plastercaster, The Enigma, the Suicide Girls, Zim Zum (formerly of Marilyn Manson), Kevin Lyman, and various other managers, journalists, venues, agents, sponsors, radio personalities and the like.