Like the Billboard charts, except not rigged by ex-cons. Chart positions as of Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 at 3:00pm. Rankings may change according to the whims of idiots.

#1 Sick Puppies – “ALL THE SAME” (NG Version)



Before you make the obvious joke that NG stands for “No Good,” let me point out that it literally does. This is an offering from “No Good Television.” Another one of their hit videos is entitled “Robin Williams is Hilarious!! uncensored” I am not kidding.

#2 Britney Spears - VMA 2007 - Gimme More



Hey, top ten of the YouTube charts! Looks like the much-vaunted Britney comeback is a reality! I’ll just glance at the comments to see what Britney’s legion of fans thought of her perf…oh. Wait, was it less than stellar? I missed the VMA’s for 60 Minutes. I guess I’ll watch the video myself.

Oh. I see.

#3 Rihanna & Chris brown - MTV Video music awards 2007

The video's gone now. Viacom hates YouTube.

I wish I could sing like Chris Brown, but it always comes out sounding like Rihanna. That’s why I stick to dancing like him. Have you ever watched snippets of a film on television over and over until you’ve finally viewed the film in its entirety but never from start to finish? That’s how I’ve heard “Umbrella.” The process took about a month. Since Chris Brown didn’t perform his songs in their entirety, I guess I’ll have to wait to hear all of them, too.

#4 There's Something About Ashley - Trailer - TRL Premiere 9/19



This is a trailer for a video trilogy that will be coming out in November. They don’t specify a date, so keep the month free.

#5 Soulja Boy TV - COMING SOON!



Crank dat Soulja Boy! Song is straight fucking fire. Given his impenetrable patois, I had assumed dude was a mush-mouth like Young Dro (or just Haitian), but this video reveals him to be quite capable of sounding white when talking to his lawyer. Highlight: Soulja Boy doesn’t know who Plain White T's are. Soulja Boy, I envy you. Can’t wait to cop the album and see if he knows any words other than “yoooooooooou!” and his own name.

#6 Circus Diablo - "LOADED" uncensored



Red flags, in order: 1) another offering from the folks at No Good TV 2) band members are septuagenarian Brits 3) singer directs you to ngtv.com if you want to see the version with “the tits and the ass” 4) band is on Kotch Records 5) the music

#7 Ismail Türüt Plan yapmayin Plan



I can’t put it any better than this comment from Katilyamyam: “kürtlerin süper stari dünyanin en iyi sarkisi mutlak dinleyin kürtce ama cok komik hahahahah kürtce anlamaniza gerek yok bende anlamiyorum ayni esekler gibi aniriyor resmen esekler gibi hahaha mutlak dinleyin.” And how!

#8 JoJo VS. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girl/Girls Blend



Here’s a tip: If a music video contains “VS.” in the title, it is horrible. On YouTube, that abbreviation should only be found between the words “Tyson” and “Spinks” or “scorpion” and “fire ants” or “angry drunk girl” and “her boyfriend.” Not songs. I oppose all gun control, but can we please restrict sales of music editing software solely to Daft Punk and black people in Baltimore? That will be the end of videos like this. And trance music.

#9 Mika – Happy Ending



I guess I sort of liked this I think maybe.

#10 50 Cent with Jim Jones & Juelz LIVE NYC



I repeat: 50 Cent, Jim Jones, and Juelz Santana. Could there be a worse trio of rappers? Perhaps Tony Yayo, Bow Wow, and Fred Durst? Brian Austin Green, Orrin Hatch, and Tori Amos? The Beastie Boys? Hanson? Nice to see that 50 can fuck with the Dipset apostates, however. Cam’Ron might have appeared to bury the hatchet this evening but he had go explain the “no snitching” code of ethics on Meet the Press.