Thank you for all of the comments over the last couple of months. One keeps coming up that I thought I should mention. It’s this one...

“Great column, a bit obvious,” or “Of course that’s all common sense and quite obvious," etc. Well, it’s time to make a couple of new points. First, I'm trying not to say “fuck,” “fucking” or “fucker” too much these days. I removed a ton from the book and there are still 166 of them in there. If you throw too many “fuck-fuck-fuck’s” around it doesn't quite hit with the same impact....anyway (sorry I'm getting there). I don’t want to say, “Nothing is fucking obvious when you have your head in the star-studded clouds or up your own ass,” (same thing?) but, dude, nothing is FUCKING OBVIOUS......So, maybe that should have been the title of this column instead of some new Sting album-sounding title. So, now I have used up several more “fuck's,” enough rambling from me. I'm going to start sounding more scholarly and make up a word, or a new phrase: "the obviosity level," yeah!

The obviosity level, especially in the time period leading up to a tour, is at a decreased rate due to hopes, the dismissal of fears (which are still there lurking), the increased testosterone level enabling the dismissal of girly fears and the lame ass ability to label realistic fears as girly. Sensible becomes a bad word (try mentioning sensible shoes to the singer!), good becomes BAD and sane becomes mad, up becomes down and you HAVE to get down to get up. The faint blinking flicker of the tiny candle of hope in the distant mists of the horizon becomes more real than the two-foot-high flames leaping from the engine and moving perilously close to the lead guitarist’s girlfriend’s tarot cards.

Anyone suggesting that the m.p.g. of a vehicle be checked, buying a map (or g.p.s.) or any of that shit becomes silly, lack luster, cowardly, boy-scout-ish and against the mood of bravado that will get you through. Paradoxically (or if we were in the footwear business – pair of Docs-i-cally) in some forms this stupidity is essential, it is the voodoo of self propaganda that will enable you to make it and walk over the burning coals or, massively, NOT. Understanding it is one of the first parts of getting to grips (really getting to grips) with all of this. The Monday morning quarterbacking people who scream “obvious” are probably sitting around drinking tea, everything is obvious when you are sitting around drinking tea except the fact that tea is lame (Try this with tea replaced by Newcastle Brown Ale - all of the obvious elements are enhanced by the well documented ‘Li’ factor - the more you drink the more obLivious you become!...Boom-boom, cymbal splash). So, obviosity becomes denser under pressure, less opaque when viewed from a distance, gains or loses greater leverage depending on the beverage. I've spent many years banging my head, and banging my head against a wall looking at this stuff. Some of it is starting to become clearer (or it would be if there wasn’t so much blood in my eyes). You cannot apply rationale to the irrational like an ointment on a burn. It’s going to hurt for a while, and then your skin is coming off.

Does a wet paint sign make it any less likely that some idiot (Me! Me! Me!) is going to touch the paint?? You can put up posters warning people that the Michael Shenker Group is coming to town - people still go to the concerts, not everyone leaves town until it’s safe to venture out again.

Next time I will be doing another case study for a new band here in Chicago looking to move forwards. Among other things we’ll answer the questions:
“What is a reasonable negotiation strategy for getting paid after shows? Should we be glad to see anything or is it acceptable to push a little?”

Be safe, stay cool,
MA