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Pantera Publicist tells E! Where to Stick It

THURSDAY AUGUST 24 2006 7:00 PM

Submitted by Nixon. Edited By B_Werner.

TAGS: Pantera, Dimebag, E!,

Tired of exploitative fluff television about celebrities and their private lives? You're not the only one. E! evidently has plans to do a(nother) show about Hollywood murders, and wanted to include a segment on the late Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell. Intrigued? Don't be; the Dimebag segment probably won't be happening.

Here is a letter from Pantera's publicist to E!, in regards to a request for footage to be used to re-create the Dimebag murder. As you will see, no punches were pulled, and it's admirable that the people Dimebag left behind aren't going out of their way to make his death more of a spectacle than it has to be.

Article here

Hi Beau. I�m leaving John�s comments in cause he�s a nice guy and I know this was difficult for him to send on through. I�m also blind copying a whole list of folks who will most likely copy a whole other list of folks until maybe this spreads like a good email should and end up on 100,000 websites to show the world what a collective bunch of tasteless morons you all are.

Dime�s birthday is this coming Sunday and your timing couldn�t be worse. Not that there is a good time. In fact, in honor of his birthday, I think I�ll send this around to a few of our favorite music websites who will most likely print the whole damn thing word for word, including your phone number and email. For good measure, I�m going to throw in the top 50 major daily music and some of the top TV writers in the country and why not, the weeklies as well.

I realize there is nothing anyone can do to stop E! from producing garbage like this below, as you�ve built your audience on the backs of other people�s private lives, creating some type of warped reality out of your garbage, which is merely excuses for programming on the cheap and at the expense of others.

I would like to request that you please read this out out loud to all the creative geniuses in the programming department that came up with this idea.

...

We have received your request to license footage on Dimebag Darrell Abbott for your upcoming production of, "25 Most Chilling Hollywood Murders."

While we realize the average E! audience most likely has the IQ of an umbrella, they collectively are a smarter bunch than the lot of you. Your programming creativity falls somewhere to the bottom of the middle at best, and that�s saying a lot.

I ask that you all please take a moment from your busy days and close your eyes. Live out the fantasy of playing your favorite instrument onstage. Your closest friends in the world surround you, either in the band or in your crew. From one side of the stage, a man approaches. Thinking he�s a security guy or a drunk fan who�s just a bit out a line, you continue to perform. Two seconds later, he lifts his arms, aims a rifle at your brother, your best friend, your buddy and blows his brains out, not three feet from where you are. In the nanosecond it takes you to comprehend the magnitude of what just happened, he does it again ...and again ...and again ...and again ...and again ...and again before taking aim and murdering additional members of your extended family as well as fans that have come to see you play. Two of your crew are shot but survive, but of course, will never be the same gain.

Now imagine it�s a few years later and you turn on the TV set. Just in case you may be having at least a five minute respite from that scene that plays over and over in your head, just in case .....you flip through the channels and there it is. Again. Only with some two bit actor who thinks this is his big Hollywood break.

And please, if you don�t like that scenario, make believe it�s your child who got his brains splattered all over a stage in Ohio. And then you turn on E! Oh, the magic of television!

In case none of this appears clear enough and you need a definitive answer to your request...no. The answer is no, and on behalf of everyone that was there that night and everyone that misses him every day, you can take that no and shove it up your collective asses.

And, for your second request, yes, you can quote me on that.

Sincerely,
Jane Hoffman

Up Yours, E!: Dimebag

38 Comments

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Moonrabbit

Kingston, ON

February 2005

AUG 24, 2006 07:15 PM

I'd have laughed if Alyk had posted this.
IQ+ Umbrella=Genius.
Take that tabloid industry and all your followers.

zyryx

Tyler, TX

April 2004

AUG 24, 2006 07:18 PM

the world would be a much better place if E! had subliminal messages in thier programs that would induce aneurysms killing everyone who watches that channel for more than 2 minutes...

Eternalxile

Irving, TX

March 2003

AUG 24, 2006 07:22 PM

I fuckin love it. The VH1 Pantera Behind the Music was at least respectful Even though i was surprised they played some footage from the video from the night of the shooting, especially the sound of the shotgun blast that ended the massacre. This would have been just complete and utter trash just like everything else on that goddam network.

BarryJive

Washington, DC

December 2004

AUG 24, 2006 07:31 PM

Isn't bitch slapping someone on the E! Channel a little like beating up on a gimp?

C'mon, people, who really gives a fuck? If it weren't for attention-whoring publicists like Janie Hoffman, all of about 3 people outside Dimebag's immediate family would give a flying fuck about this. It would go something like this, "Oh yeah, I remember Pantera. They were that band that the meatheads would listen to in high school. They would all gather in the bed of some asshat's jacked up truck at pep rallies, listen to Pantera, and jump around until the truck's wheels lifted off the ground. Wheeeeeeeeeeee. Now it's time to go back to my job at the lumberyard."

Hell, I'm from Louisiana, and I don't give a shit about this. If Dimebag were alive and VH1 was doing a show called "The 25 Greatest Groupie Orgies of All Time", I don't believe for a second that Janie Fucking Hoffman would write such a pissy little letter. She's probably send footager of her tossing Dimebag's salad if she thought it would make the show. Let's not canonize Dimebag because he's dead. E!'s project is undoubtedly in poor taste, but this is just overkill (sorry, pun not intended) on her part. Dimebag died too early, but that's just the roll of the dice. He died doing what he loved. How many people can say that?

AkiraLi

Philadelphia, PA

March 2003

AUG 24, 2006 07:35 PM

Well fucking done, Jane.

Yuriel

I'm lost

January 2004

AUG 24, 2006 07:41 PM

Amen.

mrsjack

I'm lost

November 2005

AUG 24, 2006 07:44 PM

barryjive said:
Isn't bitch slapping someone on the E! Channel a little like beating up on a gimp?

C'mon, people, who really gives a fuck? If it weren't for attention-whoring publicists like Janie Hoffman, all of about 3 people outside Dimebag's immediate family would give a flying fuck about this. It would go something like this, "Oh yeah, I remember Pantera. They were that band that the meatheads would listen to in high school. They would all gather in the bed of some asshat's jacked up truck at pep rallies, listen to Pantera, and jump around until the truck's wheels lifted off the ground. Wheeeeeeeeeeee".

wow.
jesus fucking christ.
i think some "meathead" must have given you a hell of a swirlie in highschool.

Oh, and that is a great fucking letter Jane.

trocc

Chicago, IL

March 2003

AUG 24, 2006 07:45 PM

BarryJive said:
Isn't bitch slapping someone on the E! Channel a little like beating up on a gimp?

while this may be true, the rest of your comment seems wildly uninformed as to the degree that Pantera was loved, by many types of people - and also seems to reveal some scarring personal high-school memories of your own...

* yeah, what slymen said.

fake111

Bushkill, PA

October 2002

AUG 24, 2006 07:51 PM

Nice, its about time...

Hey Dime, see ya sooner or later...
Ill bring the Crown...heh
R.I.P.

FilthPig

Portland, OR

December 2005

AUG 24, 2006 08:00 PM

BarryJive said:
Isn't bitch slapping someone on the E! Channel a little like beating up on a gimp?

C'mon, people, who really gives a fuck? If it weren't for attention-whoring publicists like Janie Hoffman, all of about 3 people outside Dimebag's immediate family would give a flying fuck about this. It would go something like this, "Oh yeah, I remember Pantera. They were that band that the meatheads would listen to in high school. They would all gather in the bed of some asshat's jacked up truck at pep rallies, listen to Pantera, and jump around until the truck's wheels lifted off the ground. Wheeeeeeeeeeee. Now it's time to go back to my job at the lumberyard."

Hell, I'm from Louisiana, and I don't give a shit about this. If Dimebag were alive and VH1 was doing a show called "The 25 Greatest Groupie Orgies of All Time", I don't believe for a second that Janie Fucking Hoffman would write such a pissy little letter. She's probably send footager of her tossing Dimebag's salad if she thought it would make the show. Let's not canonize Dimebag because he's dead. E!'s project is undoubtedly in poor taste, but this is just overkill (sorry, pun not intended) on her part. Dimebag died too early, but that's just the roll of the dice. He died doing what he loved. How many people can say that?

Always one in every crowd...

ColdfusionX

Albany, NY

May 2005

AUG 24, 2006 08:00 PM

Watch it GO! ....

R.I.P. Dime

gavbass

West Jordan, UT

July 2006

AUG 24, 2006 08:02 PM

One of the great injustices of the world-Dime's death...
One of the worst tragedies in the music world- he was a fucking AMAZING player, and from what I understand, one HELL of a good guy!! His death doesn't need to be cheapened for television ratings!!!
R.I.P Dime!!

BarryJive

Washington, DC

December 2004

AUG 24, 2006 08:08 PM

slymen said:
wow.
jesus fucking christ.
i think some "meathead" must have given you a hell of a swirlie in highschool.

Oh, and that is a great fucking letter Jane.

I'm sorry, but color me fucking skeptical. This woman is a publicist for Vinnie Paul, Dimebag's brother. She makes her living in part by drumming up fucking publicity for whatever shitbag project Vinnie's involved in now. Really, how many people would have ever heard of Damageplan had it not been for Nathan Gale? The members of Pantera would have most likely been fodder for VH-1's Bands Reunited in another 10 or 15 years had Dimebag not gotten shot. In fact, they still might. Can anyone else picture a teary (and scripted) reunion between Philip Anselmo and Vinnie Paul?

Eternalxile

Irving, TX

March 2003

AUG 24, 2006 08:11 PM

BarryJive said:

slymen said:
wow.
jesus fucking christ.
i think some "meathead" must have given you a hell of a swirlie in highschool.

Oh, and that is a great fucking letter Jane.

How many people would have heard of damageplan? probably just the few million pantera fans that had been waiting years for new music from vinnie and dime. as for that reunion between phil and vinne, not a fucking chance.

BarryJive

Washington, DC

December 2004

AUG 24, 2006 08:30 PM

trocc said:
while this may be true, the rest of your comment seems wildly uninformed as to the degree that Pantera was loved, by many types of people - and also seems to reveal some scarring personal high-school memories of your own...

* yeah, what slymen said.

I remember Pantera fondly...as a band from my high school years. I probably even joined in with the meatheads jumping in the back of the jacked up pickup at a Mardi Gras Parade. Vulgar Display of Power was great fun, but I couldn't name a single fucking album Pantera released after that. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't heard anything from a former Pantera member other than Anselmo's work in Down that I'd give a second listen to.

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