The notoriously icy hearts of America’s kids are no match for the smoldering stare of Green Day heartthrob Billie Joe Armstrong, as was proven again Saturday after his smeary, hypnotic gaze compelled children everywhere to bestow his band with two Blimps at Nickelodeon’s 19th Annual Kids Choice Awards.

Already proven adept at opening kids’ wallets, this latest demonstration of Armstrong’s sway over TV-saturated children is a cause for concern, according to some experts, who fear a Green Day-led army of youngsters could challenge the authority of American shopping-mall security guards and deplete dangerously low world mascara reserves.

One Blimp was presented to the ostensibly punk-rock band for being favorite music group. The other was awarded for the act’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” voted favorite song by the small children and creepy 40-somethings devoted to the popular cable television channel hosting the event.

Green Day now joins the ranks of other Blimp recipients, such as Whoopi Goldberg and Paula Abdul, in exemplifying the rebelliousness and opposition to authority that typifies punk.

“Don't believe everything you see on television, and stick it to the man,” Armstrong instructed his audience while accepting a Blimp. Reports credit his words with a 4,972% next-day spike in sales for Howard Zinn books, as children rushed from the ceremony to locally owned, independent bookstores and began exploring nonconformist thought.