I Am Smiling

Mogwai's Blur-baiting is a well-trodden path with few, if any, surprises. But, that said, this faux-Albarn soliloquy from Barry Burns is about as funny as this sort of thing gets:

“I can change the world with African Music. I can turn the colour blue into sound. I can have a band with crazy animated characters. I can kick box. I can turn George Bush into a nice man with mere words. I can actually fly. I can have another previous band with such differing styles for each and every album. I am a pearly queen when I want to be.

I can write a gut wrenchingly beautiful broken heart ballad. I laugh in the face of ad hominem attack t shirts. I will try to get into theatre and musicals and I will probably succeed! I am London. I am Mali. I am Music itself. I am Damon. I am All Bran. I will prevail. You will suffer at my musical might and other numerous talents. I am Damon. I am Damon Suzuki. I am good at everything."
The left corner of my mouth twitched slightly just now, which doesn't count as a laugh, maybe, but it's about as close as I ever get to smiling.

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