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  • WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 22 2006 5:00 PM

I Am Smiling

Submitted by Dr_Frank

Edited by Dr_Frank

Mogwai's Blur-baiting is a well-trodden path with few, if any, surprises. But, that said, this faux-Albarn soliloquy from Barry Burns is about as funny as this sort of thing gets:

“I can change the world with African Music. I can turn the colour blue into sound. I can have a band with crazy animated characters. I can kick box. I can turn George Bush into a nice man with mere words. I can actually fly. I can have another previous band with such differing styles for each and every album. I am a pearly queen when I want to be.

I can write a gut wrenchingly beautiful broken heart ballad. I laugh in the face of ad hominem attack t shirts. I will try to get into theatre and musicals and I will probably succeed! I am London. I am Mali. I am Music itself. I am Damon. I am All Bran. I will prevail. You will suffer at my musical might and other numerous talents. I am Damon. I am Damon Suzuki. I am good at everything."


The left corner of my mouth twitched slightly just now, which doesn't count as a laugh, maybe, but it's about as close as I ever get to smiling.

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Comments
Calypso

Calypso

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

FEB 22, 2006 06:39 PM

surreal

KtheTwentyThird

KtheTwentyThird

Ypsilanti, MI
March 2005

FEB 22, 2006 07:08 PM

I am an ignorant fool, who knows nothing of Mogwai.What's their beef with Blur?

Dr_Frank

Dr_Frank

Oakland, CA
May 2005

FEB 22, 2006 07:32 PM

It is a long and winding publicity stunt, BakaNoOni.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

FEB 22, 2006 08:16 PM

o....k

this is news...?

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

FEB 22, 2006 08:32 PM

Cassiel said:
o....k

this is news...?


This is a slightly humorous satire of Damon Albarn.

Dr Frank's posts are not "factual" news items. (Usually.) Mostly entertaning whimsy of one sort or another, and somehow tangentially linked to music.

fictionalsounds

fictionalsounds

Alva, OK
April 2004

FEB 22, 2006 08:35 PM

meh. a half-smile. not that funny or edgy. kinda bland as far as "artists slagging other artists" goes...

there are far more offensive people out there than damon albarn. i like blur, i like gorillaz, i like mogwai. not that big of a deal.

fictionalsounds

fictionalsounds

Alva, OK
April 2004

FEB 22, 2006 08:39 PM

bah!

[Edited on Feb 22, 2006 10:39PM]

fictionalsounds

fictionalsounds

Alva, OK
April 2004

FEB 22, 2006 08:40 PM

meh. a half-smile. not that funny or edgy. kinda bland as far as "artists slagging other artists" goes...

there are far more offensive people out there than damon albarn. i like blur, i like gorillaz, i like mogwai. not that big of a deal.

black_tar_heroin

black_tar_heroin

I'm lost
January 2003

FEB 22, 2006 09:49 PM

mario kart.. yeah

Sound

Sound

I'm lost
January 2004

FEB 22, 2006 09:55 PM

Its a good read. They should just stick to music because they are really good at that.

cooljimmyd

cooljimmyd

Edmonds, WA
January 2006

FEB 22, 2006 10:15 PM

"I can turn the color blue into sound"

That is funny.

Personally, I will dominate the world with my savage pure authenticity and the power of my fruity flavor crystals.

But then I am enigmatic and often misunderstood.

eeek

Nic

Nic

SUICIDEGIRL

United Kingdom

FEB 23, 2006 01:32 AM

BakaNoOni said:
I am an ignorant fool, who knows nothing of Mogwai.What's their beef with Blur?



They hate them. A few years ago at a festival in Britain, Mogwai's merchandise consisted of T-shirts printed with the slogan 'Blur: Are Shite'.

umanam

umanam

San Francisco, CA
October 2005

FEB 23, 2006 01:54 AM

is blur any good? I liked leisure when it came out, but their next album sounded so different I stopped listening to them

PhantomVI

PhantomVI

Chicago, IL
May 2003

FEB 23, 2006 08:06 AM

I am Damon Suzuki.


That bit is brilliant.

walkswithbears

walkswithbears

United Kingdom
March 2003

FEB 23, 2006 09:07 AM

You can pretty much pick any anti-Blur quote from Stuart Braithwaite (of Mogwai) and it will be considerably funnier and more piercing truthful than whatever that shit up there is supposed to be.

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