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  • WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 22 2004 1:06 PM

Alert! Sir, Your Breath Stinks!

Submitted by Snottlebocket

Edited by Gwendolyn

Cellphones are one of the fastest-growing technologies on the market today, and once again, cellphone manufacturers have spawned a new and bizarre feature. Cellphone giant Siemens is working on a cellphone that will be able to tell you if your breath stinks.

The phone contains a tiny chip that measures for atmospheric gasses -- for example, alcohol. If levels of certain gasses are present, the phone will then proclaim something along the lines of "You reek, dude."

"It examines the air in the immediate vicinity for anything from bad breath and alcohol to atmospheric gas levels," the spokeswoman said. "Some people take smelling good rather seriously."


I suppose that unlike inventions like the "virtual cellphone girlfriend," this addition at least has some practical value. However, I have to wonder if this technology is sponsored by a breathmint company.

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Comments
lock

lock

United Kingdom
December 2003

SEP 22, 2004 01:15 PM

I think I'm going to kill myself.
I get abuse from everyone on a daily basis and now my phone is going to start abusing me!
I can't take it
why is the oven looking at me like that?
frown

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

SEP 22, 2004 01:17 PM

i love editors, they make my broken english sound all sophisticated love

Jeff_Fries

Jeff_Fries

Humptulips, WA
September 2003

SEP 22, 2004 01:19 PM

Ooooh, a Siemens worth buying.

Shal

Shal

Los Angeles, CA
October 2002

SEP 22, 2004 01:23 PM

Snottlebocket said:
i love editors, they make my broken english sound all sophisticated love



That's what we're here for, sir. wink

Midnyte

Midnyte

SUICIDEGIRL

Arizona, USA

SEP 22, 2004 01:32 PM

HA HA, It's not a bad idea, better than having to ask your friends or blow in your hands.

Or like the drunk biker chick at the club who accosted me, a total stranger, with her breath and asked if it was bad. I wish I'd had a phone to block her with then. It wasn’t just bad it was puke

X

X

Lansing, MI
February 2003

SEP 22, 2004 04:17 PM

the breath thing seems kinda dumb but a breathalizer in a phone would be a great feature... since there are many times it woudl be nice to konw if you are legal to drive home or if you should be using the phone to get yourself a ride smile

dingoes8

dingoes8

Milwaukee, WI
March 2004

SEP 22, 2004 04:29 PM

Sounds great, but what if you get some peanut butter stuck in the little holes? It'll constantly think your breath smells delicious, even if it doesn't.

RuneLateralus

RuneLateralus

Chicago, IL
December 2002

SEP 22, 2004 06:26 PM

Interesting feature I say.

In an off topic note: I had a friend who uses the line "your breath stinks" to girls and then offers them a Tic-Tac.

In case you are wondering...no, it didn't work. I think it creeps them out more than anything.

[Edited on Sep 22, 2004 6:27PM]

crispy

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

SEP 22, 2004 06:34 PM

dingoes8 said:
Sounds great, but what if you get some peanut butter stuck in the little holes? It'll constantly think your breath smells delicious, even if it doesn't.



As long as you don't use your phone to make pb & j sammiches, I think you'd be ok.

waxangel

waxangel

Baltimore, MD
May 2003

SEP 22, 2004 06:41 PM

How about the cell phone that tells you, "Look, jackass, Jager-bombs are for douche bags. You're obviously a douche bag, but why not use this opportunity to take a step in the right direction. And stop making jokes about my vibrate function in a sexual sense. IT'S FUCKING STUPID."

Now THAT'S practicality.

TeenageSuperstar

TeenageSuperstar

United Kingdom
September 2004

SEP 22, 2004 06:49 PM

uh huh, buying a phone so that i know that my breath stinks.
and there i was drinklng water and eating tic-tacs surreal

Shawna

shawna

Marquette, MI
April 2004

SEP 22, 2004 10:53 PM


However, I have to wonder if this technology is sponsored by a breathmint company.



"Buy our phone, and recieve a free tin of Altoids!"

*laughs hysterically.*

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