I have come across many Top 10 lists predicting what is going to happen in 2009. Top 10 Celebrity Marriages, Top 10 Videos That Changed the Music World, Top 10 Artists, and so on.

While these are fun to read, they are rather boring to me as a geek with a somewhat darker outlook on life. So, I have decided to do my own Top 10 prediction list.

Top-10 Ways Life As We Know it Will End in 2009

Listed below are 10 ways out of many, many conspiracy-like theories on how life as we know it will come to an end. I picked out the ones that appealed to me the most, so let's get started!

#10: Grey Goo

If you are a Trekkie there is no way you can forget the original Star Trek episode "The Trouble with Tribbles." Captain Kirk and crew get a distress call from a deep space station that has been over run with Tribbles that replicate and wipe out the space station.

Grey goo runs on that same theory, only instead of Tribbles the grey goo is self-replicating nano-robots that consume the entire planet, and eventually the universe. The only thing left behind will be enormous amounts of nano-robots.

Pros: Kick-ass tiny robots.

Cons: We all die.

#9: Gamma Rays

No, not gramma-rays, gamma rays. A gamma ray burst has the potential to cause mass extinction on our planet.

Let me introduce you to a star named WR 104. This star is nearing it's supernova, which means it's going to blow up real good.

When this happens, WR 104 is lined up perfectly with the Earth to blast it with gamma rays.

Gamma rays can do things like alter DNA, and are highly radioactive. Nuclear blasts usually contain gamma rays and are one of the big reasons nuclear testing in the Earth's atmosphere was halted.

Everything on the planet would be doused with radiation. This could alter or eliminate the lower end of the food chain, in turn affecting the higher end of the food chain. Not to mention all the kick-ass side effects of radiation poisoning like vomiting, internal bleeding, organ failure and radiation sores!

Pros: HULK SMASH!

Cons: We all die.

#8: The Earth Spins Off its Axis

The Earth spins at approximately 1,000 miles per hour and is on a path known as an axis around the sun.

Short story: Meteor impact or very large earthquake throws the Earth off it's axis. Axis changes from going around the sun, to heading into the sun.

Pros: It only takes you minutes to get a tan.

Cons: We all die.

#7: Alien Invasion

We have all seen the alien invasion scenario. Be it parasitic aliens, demonic aliens, or "little green men", this more than likely won't end well.

From all the conspiracy theories that I have read online, aliens more than likely aren't going to be friendly. They may be at first, just to gain our trust, but eventually they will turn on us, and wipe out humanity as we know it, maybe even consuming all the resources on the Earth.

Cue Alien-Human war. Unfortunately we don't have anyone like Will Smith to protect us and the aliens win.

Pros: Finally, proof that life on other planets exists.

Cons: We all die.

#6: Killer Robots

I, Robot, anyone?

We design, create and manufacture them, only for their Artificial intelligence to realize that human intelligence is completely illogical and they turn on us.

Cue Alien Robot-Human war. Unfortunately we don't have anyone like Will Smith to protect us and the aliens robots win.

Pros: Robots to do my bidding (at least for a bit).

Cons: We all die.

#5: The Worldwide Obesity Epidemic

It actually is an epidemic. Obesity is affecting the world in big ways.

How many double cheeseburgers did you hork down while playing World of Warcraft for 24 hours straight?

This one isn't very geeky. But still, sitting here at my computer working or playing for hours straight does very little to burn off calories. The computer is by far the most used technological advancement of the century.

This one might not actually kill off the entire human race, since there are actually those healthy people that go to that place called "outside" every once in a while.

Pros: My WoW Guild is globally ranked!

Cons: We all die.

#4: Black Hole

Who can forget the The Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland?

The easiest way to describe what scientists are doing with this is, they are trying to replicate the Big Bang Theory.

Basically, scientists are slamming shit smaller than we can see with the naked eye, together at 99.999999% of the speed of light to see what happens.

Some theorists are saying that this is going to cause black holes that will grow larger and eventually swallow the Earth.

My theory...shit will slam together, scientists will rejoice, a super long report will be written and it will bore me to sleep.

Pros: The light show just before entering the black hole.

Cons: We all die.

#3: The Sun Will Swallow the Earth

Don't forget Earth's sun is just a star. Eventually all stars expand and explode.

The Sun's temperature is approximately 5778 Kelvins. In non-geek terms that translates to frickin' hot!

Like mentioned above, the Sun will eventually become a supernova. Before it does though, it will expand and consume the Earth. The core of the Sun will collapse and the temperature will increase, like we're all living in Hell, just hotter. The sun will expand, eventually consuming the sky as our oceans boil and evaporate. Don't worry, by this point we will have all been vaporized by the heat. We won't even get to see the pretty explosion.

Some oddball theorists say it's going to happen soon. Two other theorists broke out their calculators and say we still have 7.6 billion years before we have to worry about it.

Pros: No more snow in Ohio! Hooray!

Cons: We all Die.

#2: Megatsunami

Not just a regular old tsunami, a freakin' megatsunami. It is also known as an iminami, which translates to "purification wave".

We are talking a wave that thousands of feet tall consuming everything in its path. Theorists predict that no one would be safe.

The megatsunami would be caused by a meteor impact, super-volcano or enormous land slide. If it hit the Atlantic, it would send a wave so large that it would travel 20 miles inland in the continental United States. The Great Lakes would swell causing mass flooding in the Midwest. Florida would disappear entirely.

The surge of the wave pulling back would create just as much destruction, restructuring North America. Not even Canada's safe!

After the waters receded we would be dealing with mass amounts of death, diseases that we once had control of will make a come-back, a lack of fresh water and numerous other problems that could kill off the entire human race.

Pros: Re-enacting the end scene from Point Break.

Cons: We all die.

and finally.....

#1: Zombie Apocalypse

You all laugh, it only takes one zombie for it to start. It could be the living dead, a rage zombie (think 28 Days Later) or a T-virus zombie. The point is, they are all zombies.

Not only that, the human race as a whole is too sympathetic to fight off zombies. There are too many people that couldn't kill zombified friends and relatives out of sympathy, sadness or shock. Some weak soul out there won't kill a zombie because it was their Nana at one point. leaving Zombie Nana to bite down and continues the spread of zombism.

This is just a warning to everyone to everyone on my Friend's List. We are friends, but if you're a zombie, i am going to bludgeon you or shoot you until you stop moving and are dead. You get no sympathy from me.

Without people (well, live people) to run things like electric grids, water plants and other such necessities, the populace will need to learn to survive on its own. Zombies will eventually start feeding on animals and most food will become inedible to humans. We'll eventually run out of viable food sources, unable to fight off the zombies due to malnutrition.

I just can't see the zombie apocalypse ending in our favor.

Pros: I get to live out my dreams of fighting off zombies.

Cons: We all die.

So there it is, my predictions on how life as we know it will end in 2009. If you have any other ones that you think should be mentioned, feel free to add them!

DevilsReject is well prepared for the Zombie Apacolypse, and wouldn't think twice about popping a cap in Zombie Nana's ass.