• news
  • FRIDAY DECEMBER 14 2007 4:00 AM

Too Many Cats Can Kill You FYI

Submitted by _DictionaryGirl_

Edited by erin_broadley



I've never been much of a cat person. It isn't to say I'm not fond of the brutes, it's just that it takes a very special kitty to really melt my heart. It's a preference that has put me squarely at odds with some of my friends on the other end of the pet spectrum, and only a couple of weeks ago I found myself in a brief debate over whether or not dogs and cats are equally disgusting creatures. I lost that particular battle due to cats' so-called self-cleaning instincts (a moot point if you bathe your dog regularly, I should think), but I think I've found enough ammo to win the war. See, some dogs may occassionally succumb to feats of stupidity (yeah, okay, some of them eat things they just finished expelling), but at least their parasites won't drive you slowly into madness and a life of unfathomable cat-lady filth.

Here’s a little-known and slightly terrifying fact: According to estimates from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 60 million people in the United States are infected with a parasite that may migrate into their brains and alter their behavior in a way that — among other things — may leave them more likely to be eaten by cats. New research into this common parasite — Toxoplasma gondii — may offer clues to the phenomenon known to the unscientifically-minded as “crazy cat lady” syndrome.



Dear god. To be perfectly frank, this article had me at "infected with a parasite," because I'm a little on the squeamish side when it comes to horrific infestations, but it's the whole "more likely to be eaten by cats" bit that is truly intriguing. While it has long been scientific knowledge that kitties lower one's functioning IQ, I had always assumed the integral factor to be not a parasite so much as brain-frying cuteness. Boy, did those cats have me fooled!

The basic facts: Toxo can infect many species, but it undergoes sexual reproduction only in cat digestive tracts. Once the parasite reproduces, the cat passes it in its feces, where the next unwitting host picks it up by digesting it (intentionally or unintentionally). Then the cycle starts again. In the long run, Toxo must find its way back to a cat’s stomach to survive. So the parasite has evolved a complicated system for taking over its hosts’ brains to increase the likelihood that they’ll be eaten by cats.



Suffice it to say, Toxoplasma Gondii are some gnarly motherfuckers -- as protozoa, like their brother Malaria, they share many of the same symptoms. Key differences, on the other hand, include a slower organ failure death and a nonchalant attitude toward rampant cat piss. Yes, you heard me.

Research conducted this year by Toxo expert Robert Sapolsky of Stanford, and also by Joanne Webster, professor of parasite epidemiology at Imperial College London, has found that Toxo actually causes rats to become attracted to the smell of cat urine.



So the theory in a nutshell, then, is that Toxo makes you lust for the pungent aroma of cat pee, causing you to fill your house with it -- driving away all sane relatives until A.) the Humane Society has to wade knee deep in Fresh Step to haul you off to a home, or B.) you die alone, the neighbors finding you a carcass weeks later, picked clean by your parasitic brood.

Ugh. Sounds about right.

Despite, however, these theories that seem to make a lot of sense, the researchers' official stance is that nothing is definitively conclusive as of yet (aside from that Toxo sufferers so far have shown slower reflexes and are 2.5 times more likely to get in a car accident -- old cat lady, anyone?) and that they need more time to run studies. I'm not sure what more they need -- I'm convinced.

Like I said: it's not that I have any sort of bias against cats. They can be cold and unfriendly, and give you that look like they're bored to death that you're still alive, but the right cat can be a perfect pal. All I'm saying is this: parasites. Better yet: parasites that may drive you syphilitically insane and degrade your own quality of life. So, you know -- put that in your "cats are so much cleaner than dogs" pipe and smoke it.

Quod erat demonstrandum.



_DictionaryGirl_ and her cat-crazy boy are totally getting a kitten, and she will certainly love it to pieces, but let it be known -- she will be sleeping with one eye open. She will not be a statistic.

  • PERMALINK
  • PRINT
  • Digg This
  • Email To A Friend
 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Next

Comments
starblood

starblood

Horsham, PA
March 2006

DEC 15, 2007 02:14 PM

I don't know why they report stuff like this. I know it's science but all it does is add to the bad reputation that cats already have among the ignorant. For every "crazy cat lady" there are thousands of normal, well-adjusted folks who have an appropriate number of cats in their home.

Phoenixgirl

Phoenixgirl

I'm lost
May 2006

DEC 15, 2007 06:19 PM

I used to have 9 cats once - I used to "rescue" them...I had to move and find homes for them all. My family had started calling me crazy cat lady. As much as I love cats, I will never have more than 2 at one time ever again. Too much to handle, too expensive, and they wrecked the house.

gutterman

gutterman

Austin, TX
August 2003

DEC 16, 2007 06:37 AM

This is a clear indication that dogs are better than cats. But then you think about the fact that dogs eat cat shit, then lick everything. They go outside, eat a bunch of turds. Then they come inside and tell you how much they love you by licking your face.

Christalynne

Christalynne

Leominster, MA
March 2007

DEC 16, 2007 09:06 AM

now i wonder is the parasite effects dogs...it must. because my mom has a cat and two mini daschunds and they sometimes eat out of the litter box if she doesn't scoop it immediately...so yea.... her dogs are becoming dumber...and more attracted to litter box...like a DRUG! AHH!!! miao!!

LittleFierceOne

LittleFierceOne

Durham, NC
July 2005

DEC 16, 2007 11:21 AM

starblood said:
I don't know why they report stuff like this. I know it's science but all it does is add to the bad reputation that cats already have among the ignorant. For every "crazy cat lady" there are thousands of normal, well-adjusted folks who have an appropriate number of cats in their home.



+1

...though not B.S., the story is sensational. Humans are not one of toxo's natural hosts; a healthy immune system keeps it at bay. That's why people don't get heartworms, too (but we do get malaria).

TigerAngel

TigerAngel

Bellvue, CO
February 2005

DEC 18, 2007 01:34 PM

If people don't know enough to keep their litter boxes clean and to wash their hands after cleaning said litter boxes, then they are clearly already displaying some sort of genetic propensity toward stupidity.

I hate inflammatory articles like that against animals. They serve no purpose except to get some asshat to exclaim "Oh my god, cats are the devil and could kill us all." Yellow journalism at its best.

Cats excrete the pathogen in their feces for a number of weeks after contracting the disease, generally by eating an infected rodent. Even then, cat feces are not generally contagious for the first day or two after excretion, after which the cyst 'ripens' and becomes potentially pathogenic.



The feces have to be sitting in the box for a couple DAYS to even become infectious.


Cat feces don't kill people.
Stupid people with unwashed hands kill people.

Other ways of transmission:

*Ingestion of raw or partly cooked meat, especially pork, lamb, or venison containing Toxoplasma cysts....Oocysts may also be ingested during hand-to-mouth contact after handling undercooked meat, or from using knives, utensils, or cutting boards contaminated by raw meat.

*Drinking water contaminated with Toxoplasma.

*Transplacental infection in utero.

*Receiving an infected organ transplant or blood transfusion, although this is extremely rare.



...Contact with infected undercooked meat seems to be a more important cause of human infection in many countries.




I do, however, agree that it may be part of the feline plan for world domination.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

DEC 18, 2007 07:31 PM

I swear I read about this as part of a book, short story, or comic.

...oh, right, "Peeps", by Scott Westerfeld. S'about a parasite that causes, effectively, vampirism. And so chapters are interspersed with the main character telling the reader about some parasite lurking in nature to spring upon the unwary. Cool book.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

DEC 22, 2007 12:25 PM

LittleFierceOne said:

starblood said:
I don't know why they report stuff like this. I know it's science but all it does is add to the bad reputation that cats already have among the ignorant. For every "crazy cat lady" there are thousands of normal, well-adjusted folks who have an appropriate number of cats in their home.



+1

...though not B.S., the story is sensational. Humans are not one of toxo's natural hosts; a healthy immune system keeps it at bay. That's why people don't get heartworms, too (but we do get malaria).



That's what I was wondering. The one person I know of who got toxoplasmosis was (I believe) the first American (or one of the very first) to die of AIDS.

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

DEC 23, 2007 12:49 PM

Doxie said:
This is the parasite that some medical doctors are not very well informed of. OB/ GYNs may tell pregnant moms that the only way to "save their baby" is to get rid of the cat - when all you really need to freakin' do is WASH YOUR HANDS.


Most doctors just recommend you have your husband or someone else clean the litterbox for the duration of your pregnancy. I have never heard of any doctor telling a pregnant woman to get rid of her cat. I have only heard of doctors telling pregnant women not to get a cat while pregnant if they don't already have one, because their immune systems may not have built up a tolerance to toxoplasmosis and it can damage the fetus if this is the case.

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

DEC 23, 2007 12:50 PM

bald_eagle said:
To be completely safe, microwave all cat poop before eating it.


What are you crazy??? That just mutates it into a super-parasite!

Clidna

Clidna

Canada
January 2005

DEC 23, 2007 12:55 PM

It surprises me not at all how many people are annoyed or irritated by this story... how many cats have you had in your life? THEY'RE TAKING OVER YOUR BRAIN!!! biggrin

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Next

featured interviews