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When Turning Rock Band Up to Eleven Goes Wrong

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 30 2007 4:00 AM

Submitted by _DictionaryGirl_. Edited By erin_broadley.

Finding the right apartment is hard work. First, you have to narrow down a price range that won't leave you eating cat food; from there, you have to find one that actually looks like it sounds in the advertisement description and isn't situated at the corner of Freeway Meridian and Meth Lab, and not only that, but it has to be somewhere convenient to your needs. Variables like smoking or non-smoking can be a factor, and then if you want pets, you have to find somewhere they won't get thrown out on their ears.

And as if that weren't enough, be prepared for a world of pain if you're unfortunate enough to be belabored with the task of being a video game rock star.

You see, I'm somewhat of a Legendary God of Guitar Hero myself, and having spent a good block of Thanksgiving weekend demolishing friends and acquaintances in face-off mode, I can attest to the fact that it is really best played loud and at two-o-clock in the morning (sliding across the floor on one's knees at integral parts of the Dragonforce bonus.) That said, the little time spent not ruling on the five-button was spent fantasizing about, of course, the modern marvel that is Rock Band, guaranteed to be a worthy challenge and at least five times as loud -- while you can turn the volume down on fake guitars, how do you really regulate the volume of your voice when you're trying to hit the upper-stratosphere pitch of Claudio Sanchez? And how do you not drink until you throw the drum kit into the kitchen sink like a crazed reincarnation of Keith Moon? Obviously, it is unavoidable.

It is beneficial, therefore, to have friends with few neighbors and lax landlords. Thus, when someone you know finally gets a compatible console, you'll be ready. Sadly, a group of more pioneering fellows on the Rock Band forums did not have such foresight, and suffered a wrathful blow heard 'round the internet -- eviction by rock.

I guess the game was just that good. We techinically [sic] didn't get evicted...YET. But we have 10 days to get out before we do get evicted.

Okay, sort of evicted. Not that a compulsory evacuation notice is much better, but at least it won't destroy their credit for time eternal. The tragic band posted their notice on the game's forums, blurred by either tears or the earth-shaking metal they're still shredding through in these last darkest days.

I did notice, however, a little something in a close-up of their compliance notice that makes me feel a smidge less sorry for the guys.

Here, I strain my eyes so that you don't have to:

Mandatory scheduled quiet hours are twenty-four (24) hours daily. Should there be a disturbance of this nature, please call the apartment office. After 10:00PM, and before 9:00AM, your activities should not be noticable to other residents. Please run dishwasher and laundry facilities prior to 10:00PM.

Did these guys read their lease contract before moving into this apartment? It all comes back to finding an apartment that fits your needs. I mean, seriously: don't run your dishwasher after 10PM?! What, are their dishwashers powered by nuclear generators? Faced with that sort of reserve of silence, it was their duty to understand immediately that this apartment complex is for boring grandmas and cat ladies, and should have run screaming on the double. Such a place could never have been tolerant of fake band wizardry, and it was all only a matter of time before they were ousted like Ozzy at the Alamo.

It's a tragic story, and I feel deeply for my brothers in rock, but I hope they can take what they have learned and move on, a little bit older and a little bit wiser, and know that when they finally find a people-friendly apartment to welcome them, at least they will have lived to rock another day.

_DictionaryGirl_ doesn't have Rock Band yet, but she challenges all of you to Guitar Hero.

83 Comments

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seetherfan

Australia

July 2004

NOV 30, 2007 06:06 AM

*takes up the challenge*

Intruos

Madison Heights, VA

January 2007

NOV 30, 2007 06:08 AM

Bah! If I didn't live in one such pansy-ass apartment complex I'd take you on. ^_^

I feel sorry, being an avid gamer myself, for those poor souls being thrown on their rockin' rear ends just for doing what comes naturally to some: rockin' the fuck out. But hey, it's not really rock if something or someone isn't destroyed, eh?

marginalKI

I'm lost

February 2006

NOV 30, 2007 06:39 AM

They should get a lawyer. I got the same kind of harassment at the last place I lived and the moment I showed that I wasn't going to take it quietly and slink off into the sunset they changed their tune immediately and backed off. In fact, they started getting scared that I would take their ass into court. In my case, and I suspect it's somewhat similar here, the building was trying to rid themselves of folks who had been there long enough that they were paying a significantly lower rent rate than other tenants (they wanted to maximize their rent income), as well as booting out any "fringe" or "out of the mainstream" elements (they wanted to attract a "higher caliber of resident"). To do this they would use any excuse they could to do to kick out folks who fit either profile. As it turned out, I fit both profiles.

I eventually moved out into a bigger and better place, but on my terms and on my timetable, not based upon some trumped up order to get out in ten days.

I say take the case to a lawyer. Bullies will always bully if they think they can get away with it.

Emi

SUICIDEGIRL

Pitcairn

NOV 30, 2007 07:02 AM

LOL i've been worried that this would happen to us but so far my neighbors have been good little meth heads and kept their mouths shut.

Ms_Magdalena

Minneapolis, MN

February 2007

NOV 30, 2007 07:05 AM

marginalKI said:
They should get a lawyer. I got the same kind of harassment at the last place I lived and the moment I showed that I wasn't going to take it quietly and slink off into the sunset they changed their tune immediately and backed off. In fact, they started getting scared that I would take their ass into court. . . . . .

The only problem there is that the renters willingly, albeit idiotically, signed the leasing contract, which clearly stated the noise restrictions in place in the building. Considering the fact that dishwashers aren't allowed to be run past a certain hour (and everybody knows it), I don't think the boys would have much chance of convincing a judge that they "weren't informed" or "didn't know better."

They really just should have read it before they signed, is all. If a place is gonna be like that about noise, either pick a different place, or keep it fuckin' down.

Gilby

Bridgeville, PA

October 2004

NOV 30, 2007 07:09 AM

This is why I am thinking of getting an apartment building with my friends.

No, not an apartment, but the whole building. They already have the third floor rented out, and I might rent the second floor after renovations are done.

Cherry

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

NOV 30, 2007 07:16 AM

Haha, this is too funny. Idiots. It's one thing if it's not mentioned in their lease and it was a reasonable time of day, but really...

Also I played Rock Band for a good few hours on Weds night and OH MY GOD, it's love. It's the best interactive game ever, and this is coming from a massive DDR fan. Seriously, it's amazing. It is also difficult to not have it turned up to 11 because otherwise you'll hear the somewhat dodgy singing of the singer and the Pff Pfff Pfffff of the plastic drums.

guitargeek

Shawnee, OK

November 2003

NOV 30, 2007 07:22 AM

Goddammit, people, BUY SOME REAL FUCKING INSTRUMENTS!
Guitar Hero is the lowest form of wankdom.

Toku666

Columbus, OH

May 2004

NOV 30, 2007 07:32 AM

guitargeek said:
Goddammit, people, BUY SOME REAL FUCKING INSTRUMENTS!
Guitar Hero is the lowest form of wankdom.

Why not go tell people that like Madden to actually play football instead? Or tell people that are into arcade drivers to drive an actual car?

It's because these are games. We know they aren't the real thing, but not all of us actually want to be able to play these songs, we just want to have the fun that comes along with playing the game.

They're two different things, essentially. If you know people that have difficulty telling the difference, fine, but I haven't met any.

Thanks for weighing in, gramps.

thedragonjedi

USA

April 2007

NOV 30, 2007 07:36 AM

guitargeek said:
Goddammit, people, BUY SOME REAL FUCKING INSTRUMENTS!
Guitar Hero is the lowest form of wankdom.

Funny you say that, After GH3 I finally decided to buy myself an Ibanez. Thier Necks are Fucking Fast!!!

So in other words that contract means No Loud drunk rambuctios sex after 10pm either? That's got to suck cause that's the best part of Drinking.

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY

May 2003

NOV 30, 2007 07:37 AM

guitargeek said:
Goddammit, people, BUY SOME REAL FUCKING INSTRUMENTS!
Guitar Hero is the lowest form of wankdom.

Right on!

C'mon, videogame wankers, why bother buying Call Of Duty 4 when you can join the real fucking army and shoot real fucking people?

Why buy Bioshock when you can simply take a real fucking bathysphere and explore an a real fucking underwater Objectivist dystopia populated by real fucking genetically modified monstrosties?

Why buy Half Life 2 when you could get a a real fucking PhD in theoretical physics and buy a real fucking crowbar?

Why join some obscure internet porn site when you could be out looking at real fucking naked women?

powergirl5000

I'm lost

November 2007

NOV 30, 2007 07:37 AM

Guitar hero is my crack.

pmonkeyEsquire

Detroit, MI

May 2004

NOV 30, 2007 07:43 AM

maybe i'm getting old, but mandatory 24 hours quiet time sounds pretty good for me.

JayBugg

Iraq

February 2006

NOV 30, 2007 07:49 AM

I want to see a mars volta song on one of them games, preferably one of the ones that last 15 minutes plus

watch as video games junkies fall over dead from the exhaustion hehehe

Ms_Magdalena

Minneapolis, MN

February 2007

NOV 30, 2007 07:55 AM

JayBugg said:
I want to see a mars volta song on one of them games, preferably one of the ones that last 15 minutes plus

watch as video games junkies fall over dead from the exhaustion hehehe

Oh god, no shit huh?

Cicatriz Esp FTW!

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