I heard of Twitter.com for the first time today when I was reading the Sunday New York Times "Fashion and Style" section. Do you "twitter"? What the fuck am I talking about? I barely know. Here's what the paper said about Twitter:

So, how does this work exactly? According to the Twitter.com FAQ section:

Twitter.com is my worst nightmare. If you had dozens of friends who twittered, you could possibly receive hundreds of texts on your phone every day. I hate to sound like an old lady but seriously, what ever happened to sitting with your thoughts and feelings? What ever happened to not having to constantly tell everyone what you're doing? What about calling a friend and taking the risk of actually talking to another human being?

I am not a fan of text messaging. I text people as needed for what I consider business purposes. "I'm going to be late." "What's the address again?" "Are you there yet?" I can't stand texts that consist of the late-afternoon philosophies of my friend who just got high. I'd rather my friend call me so that I can say, "You should consider getting a job and every time you text me it costs me ten cents. Stop it."

Twitter.com has a simple "What, Why and How" explanation:

There's no way to read what people are twittering about without signing up, so I now have a Twitter account. What I won't do in the name of research. Most updates going on in Twitter-world are of the "I'm eating soup" variety. Rarely to never did I see anybody announcing that they were running late to their board meeting or hosting a really fabulous shindig. Here are some examples:

There's this 27-year-old guy, Nick Starr, who as of today will most likely be a Twitter celebrity because his mini-blogs were mentioned in the New York Times.

Don't worry you guys! Nick lived and four-hundred of his closest friends received his suicide note. Phew! Before you think networking on Twitter saved his life, think again. Nick apparently fell asleep in his car before he had the chance to jump off a bridge and must have woken up with a change of heart. (Thanks Clarence!)



I went straight to Nick Starr's account to see how life was for Nick post suicide attempt and just like Owen Wilson it seems like Nick is doing really great!

Here are some of Nick's most recent adventures:

Seems like he found God!

And celebrity!

Anyway, now that I'm a Twitter.com member I'm staring at the screen, tempted to fill in the blank right under the heading, "What are you doing?" I have no twitter friends and I'm not about to update the void that I just finished writing this article. I think I'll just go jump off of a bridge.