I was watching NBC's "Bionic Woman" the other day, (yeah, I'm not sure why, either), when I was struck with the sudden and unexpected sensation of actually, "enjoying myself." No, it wasn't because of Katee Sackhoff. Nope, it was this guy, fulfilling a rich legacy far greater than his role on an average show. He plays the "nerdy tech guy" that works for the top-secret, black ops agency that also employs the Bionic Woman.

The nerdy tech guy is awesome. Not all of them. Certainly not the ones in the real word. And even fictional NTGs don't mean much to me when working in offices, businesses or other mundane outfits. Nope, the only kind that matter must work at some sort of ass-kicking gov't agency. FBI, CIA, SD-6, NTAC -- fictional or real, I don't care.

I guess this type originated with James Bond's Q but has undergone radical changes since then. My favorite is easily Marshall Flinkman from "Alias." Other examples are "4400's" Marco (a pretty obvious clone of the Flinkman character), The Lone Gunmen from the "X-Files," and from comics Microchip from "The Punisher." Much looser variations on this type are Mac from "Veronica Mars," Willow from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Winifred Burkle from "Angel," and... that's about it. For such an iconic character type, I can't seem to think of any more...

NTGs are invaluable to the hero. They provide countless weapons, gadgets and surveillance gear (they're always very picky with this shit, as it's usually a prototype weapon or one of five on the planet that each cost a billion dollars.)

They also offer moral and tech support when you're in the field through those headset earpiece things... Need to jam a frequency? Unlock an electronic safe? Use Google? They'll help you out... (This isn't really help, but, if you're maneuvering through a laser beamed alarm system, if they've got video capabilities they'll often say shit like "Watch it!" And when you make it they'll often collapse on the keyboard in an exhausted heap and say something like "Whew, that was, close... too close.")

Regardless of what you ask them, they need, "more time." This is always going to be, "time you don't have." When they're reminded of this they'll start to yell back, then suddenly have an epiphany, rush off, returning moments later with the decoded file/antidote/green ooze you needed.

They'll often make jokes that no one will laugh at. In fact, if you're at a top secret board meeting filled with blueprints, 3-D maps and intensely furrowed brows, and everyone suddenly looks annoyed, it's usually because the tech guy tried to make a joke. (Quick sidebar, these jokes fall into two categories: 1) Nerdy techno-babble, computer jokes that maybe other nerds would've gotten, and 2) something casual and pop culture-based that may've been mildly funny under other circumstances but, dude, what the fuck, we're trying to storm a lair here and people could die, could you get serious for two goddamn seconds?)

They also seem to eat a lot of junk food and, oddly enough, are usually the characters that dress most like real people. Clad in shorts, T-shirts and sloppy, open button-downs while everyone else scurries about with rock-solid abs, shoulder holsters and windblown blazers.

Perhaps the NTGs are in danger, on NBC's "Chuck" they made the hero and the tech guy the same person... But, I hope that's not the case. Without them, the heroes would be nowhere, we'd have no one relate to in the meeting scenes and no one would be there to work in a goofball reference (well, I guess there's always the "maverick, wild card hero," but that's another topic.)

The fake spy game just wouldn't be the same without them.




TheCoolerKing thought about including The Wire's Roland Pryzbylewski but thought it was a stretch.