• news
  • WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 19 2007 12:00 PM

Unknowable Space Horror Is Coming, Look Busy!

Submitted by Flux

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Lovecraft, Cthulhu, meteorite, horror, deep sea



As I have long suspected, Howard Phillips Lovecraft's tales of eldritch horrors beyond mortal ken were seeded with the grains of truth.

Ten years ago now, the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association recorded an ultra-low frequency sound around 50º S 100º W in the Pacific Ocean. This sound matches the audio profile of a living creature. However, the frequency of the sound implies a creature much larger than even the world's largest known creature, the blue whale. This mysterious sound has come to be known as the Bloop.

I have come to believe that the sound's origin was from just a short distance away, 47.9º S, 126.43º W, which you and I both know as the coordinates of the nightmare corpse-city of R'lyeh. Brave scientists at BloopWatch.org share this hypothesis, and we tremble in dread, for great Cthulhu is waking. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Please eat me last.

Or so I worried, but now it looks like we'll be driven ill and insane first. As prophesied in "The Colour Out of Space", death and terror is raining down on us from the sky. This weekend, in Puno, Peru, a meteorite fell to earth. Of course, it brought the unknowable and horrifying along for the ride.

Residents complained of headaches and vomiting brought on by a "strange odour," local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP.

Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill and had to be given oxygen before being taken to hospital, Mr Lopez said.



Ahem:

Winter came early, and was very cold. Ammi saw Nahum less often than usual, and observed that he had begun to look worried. The rest of his family too, seemed to have grown taciturn; and were far from steady in their church-going or their attendance at the various social events of the countryside. For this reserve or melancholy no cause could be found, though all the household confessed now and then to poorer health and a feeling of vague disquiet. Nahum himself gave the most definite statement of anyone when he said he was disturbed about certain footprints in the snow.



You will, of course, agree in the face of the evidence presented that we are dealing with the same non-humanoid, mutagenic, extraterrestrial "colour." Try not to buy any Peruvian skunk-cabbage this autumn, beloved readers.

Regardless, we're all going to die.

Flux has got her Mi-Go brain cylinder prepared for her exit from this doomed planet. How about you?

  • PERMALINK
  • PRINT
  • Digg This
  • Email To A Friend
 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 7

Next

Comments
Heigai

Heigai

Columbus, OH
May 2004

SEP 19, 2007 10:06 PM

Awesome thread. Oh god what is THAT

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

SEP 19, 2007 10:09 PM

shit.

xfinitex

xfinitex

East Lansing, MI
August 2005

SEP 19, 2007 10:11 PM

On just a random Lovecraftian note, has anyone else checked out the band The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets and their oh so sweet songs about Lovecraft?
I recommend:
Yig Snake Daddy
Burrow Your Way to My Heart
and of course
The Innsmouth Look
I mean what other band has a song about meeting chicks at the EOD? And has the word 'Batrachian' in it?
That band = awesome and the perfect soundtrack for the end of the world.

And if you haven't checked it out, the 'Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth' game is pretty sweet too.

Ia Cthulhu!

(yes I am a huge freaking nerd)

fountainofdreams

fountainofdreams

Batavia, IL
January 2005

SEP 19, 2007 10:30 PM

autarchist said:
Excellent and compelling article....

Good thing I'll be safe in Antarctica with my expedition crew when the shit hits the fan. We'll be checking out neat new fossils while you all suffer the wrath of the Eldritch horrors from the depths of sea and space. Ha!

I mean, it's a completely isolated frozen wasteland. Surely nothing could trouble us there...

wink



Who Goes There?

Evermansice

Evermansice

Chicago, IL
July 2005

SEP 20, 2007 12:16 AM

Not one sentence in I was able to tell this was written by Flux. It is delightful. Also, bloop is a ridiculous name for it, but not in a bad way. Finally, giant space stations really are the way to go if you have to leave a planet in style. I realize they break with the theme, but I'm willing to do so to keep my fragile meat-shell in tact. As curious as I am to see The Dread One himself, I would much prefer to escape the doom he brings, and doing so without my all my parts intact seems entirely pyrrhic for my liking.

Vathek

vathek

Los Angeles, CA
January 2005

SEP 20, 2007 01:07 AM

CherryCoke said:

Oh my god.
We really are going to die. Aren't we?



Just the lucky ones...

zoom image


Allister

Allister

Chico, CA
September 2003

SEP 20, 2007 01:16 AM



Oh, come now. It was German expatriots of the Thule society in Argentina supplying those pictures.



Haha. Probably resurrecting Hellboy at the same time, eh?

Allister

Allister

Chico, CA
September 2003

SEP 20, 2007 01:16 AM



I say fuck it, let us all go fishing...calamari anyone?



17,000 tonnes of it? biggrin

Allister

Allister

Chico, CA
September 2003

SEP 20, 2007 01:20 AM



Try not to buy any Peruvian skunk-cabbage this autumn, beloved readers.



tongue

Allister

Allister

Chico, CA
September 2003

SEP 20, 2007 01:20 AM

Sorry.....multiple post.

thestandard

thestandard

Surrey, BC
November 2005

SEP 20, 2007 01:54 AM

zoom image

"Bloop" sounds cuddlier than "Cthulhu", and as the picture tells you "Don't Fuck With Cthulhu".

I think I'll name my new kitty Bloop.

Greybeard

Greybeard

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

SEP 20, 2007 02:11 AM

(To the tune of "Under the Boardwalk")

When the Sun goes out
At the end of Time
I know where I will be,
In that ancient, sunken
City of slime
Under the Sea.

In Old Rl'yeh, under the Sea,
Where Great Cthulhu lies waiting
For you and me.

In Rl'yeh,
Where the angles are wrong.
In Rl'yeh,
Where the nights are too long.
In Rl'yeh,
We heard the clackin'
In Rl'yeh,
Of the Mighty Kraken.

In Rl'yeh.

Rl'yeh!

Anguz

Anguz

United Kingdom
May 2006

SEP 20, 2007 03:29 AM

McDougal said:

Gerry_D said:

Jace said:
I read a comment on this story that it was probably sulfur or something coming out of the asteroid that was making people sick. Apparently that happens.

Not to burst your bubble or anything.



Jace is one of them! One of them!

Also, you can hear our new lord and master right here.



That sounds like a fart in a bathtub. I want to be scared, but it's just not doin the job.



This one time, I did a poop that went bloop as it splashed in the water. It was funny.

MaaxPower

MaaxPower

I'm lost
March 2007

SEP 20, 2007 03:36 AM

does will wheaton know about this? the next thing you know jeffrey combs will reanimate claude akins' corpse and we'll all be trapped in another mind-numbingly boring lovecraft adaptation.

Max16Characters

Max16Characters

Korea, Republic Of
March 2003

SEP 20, 2007 04:11 AM

The Bloop is either the most awesome thing ever. Or, it will someday destroy us all.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 7

Next

featured interviews