Each week, Ariel Waldman serves a tasting of the latest in sex and tech.

Second Life Finds A Way To Suck More

The fact that you meet more furries than friends is only one of the reasons Second Life can suck at times. Adding to that factor, your avatar can now apparently fuck a unicorn to receive a virtual baby unicorn pet to play with. Yes, fuck - a - unicorn. While we're sure there's more than enough fetishes out there to cover a desire for some S&M with mythical, virtual creatures, being banged by a one-horned beast just doesn't play to our fancy.

Wanking With Your Wii

To anyone who said the Wii was a waste of time, a new game begs to differ. PandiPanda is a game that uses your Nintendo Wii-mote skills to their fullest. Using a graceful and quick up and down grip, the goal of the game appears to be to masturbate your panda faster than your opponent. It seems all those years of awkward high school experimentation will come in "handy" after all. [via]

Vibrator Sucks At Getting You Off

Objectifying your household objects, LoveHoney makes you look forward to chores. The Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator extends to give a good cleaning where it counts. The flow of air makes the gadget vibrate and stimulate. The site claims "you'll never moan about Hoovering again", which isn't the most accurate copywriting to an earlier claim of "better, longer orgasms".