I don’t know how many of you have been following the sad and strange tale of Rachel Bevilacqua, whom you also might know as Reverend Magdalen of the Church of the SubGenius.

Back in 2006, in a move that can only be described as utterly devoid of Slack, Judge James Punch of the state of New York chose to relieve the Reverend of custody of her son (as well as the ability to contact him) after the boy’s father produced photographs of Magdalen at the Church’s X-Day celebration. In these photos, Rev. Magdalen was in various states of undress, in a few, she wore a papier-mache goat’s head. The Catholic Punch took offense, called Ms. Bevilacqua a “pervert” and “mentally ill,” forbidding her from seeing her son. After going back and forth in appeals, on July 6th of 2007, custody of the boy was awarded to his father, Bevilacqua’s ex-boyfriend.

Until it came out that the ex-boyfriend just had another DUI in a long string.

So, at least for now, the Reverend and son are reunited, albeit with $140,000 in legal bills (follow link to contribute to the Reverend Magdalen Legal Fund). Also, she has been forbidden by Judge Punch from keeping SubGenius materials in her home.

Wait, what was that?

Is a court of these glorious United States of America so pink as to ban the worship and praise of “Bob”? Which of us shall they come after next? Pastafarians, you are not safe, and when the dark days come they will take your meatballs from you with prejudice. Cthulhu cultists, you will not be dreaming, but dead. And the Discordians shall again have to wrestle with Greyface.

I guess that only applies to “real” religions. Harrumph.

My brethren, whether you pretend to worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Yog-Sothoth, Eris or J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, stand up for your right as an American to freely practice your fake faith! And even if you don’t mutter chants to elder things invented by a crazy genius from Providence or eat hot dogs on Fridays in honor of Discordia, join us in defending what the founding fathers intended as our birthright: freedom to parody religion and dress up in funny costumes in the pursuit of happiness. Write to your congresspeople. Demand that totally hilarious religious practice be afforded the same protection as the less Slackful faiths. Learn from our Jedi brothers in the UK and make your pretend practice known.

Fictional and joke religions of the world, unite!

Flux has pretended to worship Eris for ten years now and is looking into starting the first ever Campus Crusade for Cthulhu branch at her particular institution of higher learning. This is her first post for the Newswire.