Face it Tiger, you just hit the jackpot. This Saturday May 5th you can combine your love of “free” with your love of “stuff.” Happy Free Comic Book Day, America! Unfortunately, it’s become necessary to give comics away in order to promote them outside their very loyal audience. Oddly, comic books have never been more visible than now, with Hollywood’s successful mining of the industry. On Friday Spider Man 3 is going to begin to make a billion dollars. It deserves to. I hope it’s great.

We’re never too far away from a big budget studio release of a comic book adaptation. And crossovers like Marvel’s Civil War are making it the most profitable time to be in the comic business.

But I think there’s a small problem.

When I walk into a comic shop I often feel like I've fallen into a world not unlike Children of Men -- a graying dystopia devoid of much youth. Every Wednesday when I pick up the week’s new comics, people exclaim “Hey The Kid’s here!” I am 33. Sometimes my back hurts for no reason.

The reasons most often cited for seemingly low birth rate of new comic book fans are:
1) Video Games
2) Television

I call bullshit. I played video games (still do) and my step dad was practically Magnum PI -- but I still fell in love with comic books. Comic books engage the reader like nothing else. You imagine everything between each panel. I learned to read and learned to love reading with comic books.

As a kid, I could buy comics in every supermarket, newsstand, and five and dime. My folks would buy one for me when they picked up the paper. After I got hooked, I found a treasure trove of them at the local baseball card shop (People used to collect little picture cards of athletes. The back of the cards would list a player’s stats or allergies. They disappeared when the Internet came out.)

Anyway, there are probably lots of good business reasons why comic books aren’t available in those really convenient places -- their returnability is certainly at the top of the list. When a newsstand doesn’t sell all its copies of Lucky Magazine, they rip the cover off, throw away the magazine and are credited for the unsold merchandise. Not so with comics. When you rip the cover off a comic book you are just a horrible person.

Free Comic Book Day was created to drive new business into comic shops -- it’s a damn great idea and it won’t cost you a dime. Most comic shops seem to be participating. Check out the FCBD Website, drop in your zip code and see where you can pick up your haul. Many shops around the country are throwing parties and hosting signings. If you live in New York, Chicago, Denver, LA or San Francisco, star writer Robert Kirkman is coming to you to promote his new comic -- The Astounding Wolf-Man. Ask him to draw you a Batman.

While you’re lining your own nerdy pockets -- why not give something back to comic books? Take a kid down to the shop and put some comics in his or her hand. There will be Hellboy, Simpsons, Batman, Spider-Man, Wolf-Man and Archie books. It could end up being one of the most culturally important experiences in a young life. Don’t have a kid? Or know one? No sweat. Amber Alerts will be turned off in observance of Free Comic Book Day. Excelsior!

Tell them "The Kid" sent you.