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  • WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 27 2006 12:00 PM

Wil Wheaton's Geek in Review: The Next Generation of Geeks

When my stepkids were younger, their hyper-competitive father coached them on baseball and soccer teams. I was shoved right out of the picture, and I never really got to enjoy that sort of interaction with them. I went to all their games, though, and over the course of a few seasons, I realized that I didn't want to share those things with them. I can think of a lot of ways to spend my weekend mornings, and while it's nice to get outside and get some sunshine and exercise, dealing with ultra-competitive, win-at-all-costs parents -- who are screaming at their eight year-olds -- isn't one of them. Rather than engage in a silly pissing contest with their father and make the kids uncomfortable, I backed off, sat quietly in the bleachers, and cheered them on, no matter what the outcome of the game was. I tried my best to instill in them one of my core values: if you only focus on winning, rather than doing your best and enjoying the game, you're setting yourself up to be unhappy a lot of the time. (I developed this philosophy over countless board games when the dice just wouldn't fall my way no matter what I did, and it's served me rather well ever since.)

There was a time when I wondered if I'd ever be able to make strong bonds with my stepkids because I don't have that sports gene that most guys have. "I can't throw a curveball to save my life, but I can throw a d20 to save vs. poison," I once said to a friend of mine . . . and instantly realized that instead of trying to be someone I wasn't, and instead of trying to play into the typical "fathers play sports" thing, I could just share with my kids the things that I love, that made me who I am today. I carefully introduced my boys to the geeky things that shaped my life.

Timing, as they say, is everything, and in this case, I lucked out, because Lord of the rings and Harry Potter opened the door for fantasy games like Talisman, Dungeon, Munchkin, and Heroquest (which, I saw in the store this holiday season, is making a triumphant return, complete with expansion packs!) We have spent hours playing these games together over the years, and I will never forget the day that Nolan (my younger boy) pulled out Talisman, and convinced two of his friends that it was "really cool" and got them all to give it a try.

After I proved to the kids through gaming that I wasn't entirely lame, I showed them how cool backyard astronomy can be. I was helped in this regard, again, because five years or so earlier, when they were really little, comet Hale-Bopp was huge in the Western sky almost every night, and the Leonids had one of their once-per-century peak storms, so they knew there was cool stuff up there, and trusted me when I said I'd show them how to find it with a star chart and the red-cellophaned flashlight. To this day, they point out Orion, Sirius, and find Polaris when the skies are dark and clear enough to see it. They even took it upon themselves to learn some of the mythology (via my bookshelf) surrounding a few of my favorite constellations Cassiopea, Cephus, Perseus and Andromeda.

When League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was in theaters, I pointed out to my boys that the graphic novel that inspired the movie was pretty good, and that I had it if they wanted to read it and decide which was better. They couldn't believe I was encouraging them to read comic books, and that opened another door for me. Ryan turned 17 this year, and I gave him a complete set of Sin City books, while Nolan enjoyed a lot of my old superhero books. This particular area wasn't as successful as I'd hoped, though; neither one of them understood why I like Watchmen so much, and one of them (who will remain nameless for his own protection) even said that it was "boring." Yes, a little bit of me died that day; you can't win them all.

The greatest challenge, which surprised me, was introducing them to geeky movies and TV shows. I thought this would be simple, since they were already into Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings but I made a fundamental mistake. This will actually be a column entirely on its own -- a guide to introducing a non-geek to geeky movies and TV shows -- but I'll just say that The Prisoner and 2001 are not the best place to start, especially with kids. Luckily, the new Battlestar Galactica and Firefly proved to be a much better place to introduce my guys to science fiction that had the perfect balance of story, classic Sci-Fi themes, action, and pretty ladies (hey, I'm dealing with teenage boys, remember. Thank you Number Six and Kaylee, for, uh, various reasons.)

As a parent, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing a little bit of yourself in your kids, and as a geek, it's 3d6+4 times more rewarding to see my geekiness reflected back at me from my boys. Nolan is into Magic: The Gathering, we frequently play Settlers of Catan (with my non-geek wife, no less) and they both embrace all of these things I've shared with them over the years. They're not hardcore (yet) but Ryan was recently accepted into Mensa with an IQ of 159 (!), and with an interest in quantum physics, he's on his way. Nolan never met a gadget he didn't want to take apart, understand, and put back together (occasionally with some spiffy modification) and both of them like to celebrate personal accomplishments by eating Sir Robin's Minstrels, which I'm pretty sure they picked up from me.

They haven't played organized sports in ages, but we play games together a few times a week, and when I was watching movies for last week's column, they watched Logan's Run and Westworld with me. I spared them The Omega Man, though, because one of our jobs as parents is to protect our kids from things like that, right?

Wil Wheaton hopes to attend the Midvale School for the Gifted one day.

 

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Comments
Havilah

Havilah

Phoenix, AZ
April 2006

DEC 27, 2006 06:01 PM

Geekiness being passed on is a beautiful thing. And it's awesome to that Ryan was accepted into Mensa smile

ninetysevencents

ninetysevencents

Rochester, NY
August 2003

DEC 27, 2006 06:46 PM

The fact that you said Kaylee and not Inara makes you and/or your kids supercool.

I really love to hear about smart parents who use their problem solving abilities toward better parenting. Sounds like you're putting just the right amount of emphasis on encouraging them to explore alternate modes of fun. Those kids seem lucky to have you.

swedrock

swedrock

Louisville, KY
October 2005

DEC 28, 2006 10:44 AM

Nice article!

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

DEC 28, 2006 06:57 PM

I prefer Boomer to Number Six. Though they're both hot.

CrazyJadles

CrazyJadles

Australia
December 2006

DEC 28, 2006 08:26 PM

Congratulations of the success! I wish I had someone to show me into the world of Geekiness when i was growing up. Instead I got the sport crazed parents who pushed me to do things I didn't necessarily wanted to do. Just wait until Uni. That's where mine bloomed. I remember the first day showing up on campus. I knew nobody at all. But.. I did ask around for the computer dudes and was shown to a whole block of nerds who welcomed me with open arms. 3 years later and I grow more and more into my Geeky skin.

Again... Congratulations.. It's great to see a father sharing his own hobbies instead of forcing them upon unwilling participants.

Mrs_Misha

Mrs_Misha

Los Angeles, CA
September 2003

DEC 29, 2006 10:05 AM

My parents tried this with me and my siblings. Both of them love scifi and gaming. My father even built an Altiar on our Kitchen table when I was little. Now I am a geek too... books movies even gaming. My sister got so much geek from them that she spends most evenings playing FFXI with my parents and her husband..

You are setting your kids up for a fun adulthood. And a way to keep connected to them thru the years.

hadees

hadees

Austin, TX
December 2003

DEC 29, 2006 10:48 AM

Wait Heroquest is back in stores!?!?

biggrin

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

DEC 29, 2006 11:49 AM

malkav11 said:
I prefer Boomer to Number Six. Though they're both hot.



Whatever. It's all about Dee

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

DEC 29, 2006 06:15 PM

hadees said:
Wait Heroquest is back in stores!?!?

biggrin



Well, this probably isn't what Wil's talking about, but Fantasy Flight Games has released a game in the same vein (only, imho, better) called Descent: Journeys Into the Dark. It's $80 and it takes forever to play, but if those aren't barriers, I'd go buy it immediately. So fun.

Midnyte

Midnyte

SUICIDEGIRL

Arizona, USA

DEC 29, 2006 08:00 PM

My son is a huge geek too, but it seems being geeky is the new cool. So does that mean if we really want our kids to be unique and individual we need to start getting them into sports? I'm so confused. Kind of like a few years ago when all the clothes at the mall started looking goth.

I remember a time probably 10 or 11 years ago when I was lamenting my life over the breakup of a terrible relationship. I was at Denny's playing Magic with my usual crowd and we had this huge discussion about how I really needed to ditch the musicians and "cool" guys and find me a good and geeky geek, the geekier the better. I was ok with this theory, in fact I always loved the geeks and nerds, but every geek I had ever put a move on got scared and ran away, only to send me email years later asking if I really was hitting on him and if so how dumb he felt for freaking out and running away. So I was left with what wouldn't run away. Anyway, this discussion led me to learn better techniques for hitting on geeks in a non-frightening manner. I since have dated/married a few rather geeky geeks. Sadly they don't make geeks like they used to. Now that geeks are the hot thing, they are the cheaters, the liars, and the womanizers. All of the things I wanted a geek for are no longer there. They often aren't even really that bright anymore. They don't worship the ground I walk on and they don't stay faithful. I guess I might as well go back to musicians whatever . I hate when mainstream ruins my good thing frown

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

DEC 29, 2006 08:31 PM

Evidently you're dealing with the wrong geeks, because I know I for one worship the ground women walk on. With candles and ancient blood rituals and everything.

handsome_rob

handsome_rob

Burlington, IA
May 2004

DEC 29, 2006 08:44 PM

hmm... gary larson reference. i saw midvale and knew it right away.

tadkil

tadkil

Duluth, GA
September 2004

DEC 30, 2006 05:48 PM

Brother Will!

My sons are 9 and 6. We are devout players of heroscape. I also have them playing Slugfest Games, Kung Fu fighting. Nothing rocks so much as my six year old telling his mother, "Your Kung Fu IS WEAK!"

I oversee Dave Arneson's Blackmoor MMRPG as executive producer. I have been doing a ton of cons, the last two years. I've started toting my nine year old along. He is not into RPGs yet, but he loves watching grown ups play pretend.

Last year they watched the LOTR trilogy with my wife and I. Immediately this got incorporated into their play. I got to hear bits of wonder like, "Ready the spears, Orcs are breaking into the kitchen!" and "I am Legolas, and you are Gimli. That way we can get Daddy to play cause he can be Aragorn." and my favorite to date form my six year old. "This is MY Bagel! It is precious to me!"

Geekdom passes on its mantle! Said another way, "No! There is another."

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

DEC 31, 2006 08:21 AM

I can't believe no one else noticed this yet. The boys' names are Nolan and Ryan, and their father is ultracompetitive and into baseball. Personally, I think he's just a different kind of geek.

My older brother was the same way. Heavily into baseball (might have gone pro, if not for an eye injury), and could quote statistics and history enough to make your head spin. Serious geekitude.

Incidentally Wil, when you mentioned Number Six, this is who I immediately thought of. But then you already said it wasn't really the best way to start. wink

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