2005's Guitar Hero was a sleeper hit for the PS2, allowing geeks everywhere to pick up a guitar and enjoy the beautiful delusion that they could rock out with their cocks out, just like all those guys in high school who could play just enough to impress the coveted hot-but-stupid girl at the make out party. Oh, you think you're so cool, Brandon, with your little intro to Stairway to Heaven, but I'd like to see you do Bark at the Moon on expert! Yeah! That's what I thought, sukka!

In fact, so many doodz were in ur house, rockin ur azz, a search of "Guitar Hero" on YouTube brings up 134000 videos like this and this which simultaneously make my point and reinforce the ban on video cameras in my home.

Guitar Hero rocked the world of just about everyone who picked up a controller, struck the legs-apart rock pose, and transformed their living room into the stage at the Fillmore. Could Red Octane and Harmonix do it again? Would the set list be as diverse and satisfying as Guitar Hero's? How could they improve upon a nearly-perfect game? And would it be so goddamn hard to make sure that I don't have to come out of a fucking uptempo record, and do a goddamn death dedication about a fucking dog dying?!

Yes, yes, yes, and no. They didn't just equal the fun of Guitar Hero, they blew it away with a sequel that takes everything we loved about the first game, makes it better, and adds a little Trogdor, because everything is better with burnination.

Guitar Hero II
Rated T for Teen
PS2

The developers had a lot to live up to this time around, but instead of simply adding new songs and sprucing up the existing venues, Guitar Hero II adds new characters, an entirely new career mode that actually takes you on tour, some mechanical improvements, and a setlist that has something for everyone. Let's take a look at the changes together, shall we?

Graphics: The characters you knew from Guitar Hero are back, including Johnny Napalm, Pandora, Axel Steel, and Judy Nails (is it wrong that I'm kind of hot for a video game character?) There are also some new characters, including trashy rock chick Casey Lynch, Gwar-inspired Lars Umlaut, and rockabilly tough guy Eddie Knox. You can also buy new costumes for many of the characters, as well as new Gibson guitars and skins.

You made a name for yourself at clubs around Boston in Guitar Hero, but you'll play in some new venues this time around, beginning at the Nilbog high school battle of the bands, before working your way across the country, to such rock hotspots as Providence, Rhode Island, and Okaland, California. Along the way, you'll play the Vans Warped Tour, and end up all the way across the Atlantic. The venues are vastly improved for Guitar Hero II, with lighting effects that respond to the music you're playing, and enthusiastic crowds that demand encores.

Yeah, the encores are insanely cool. When you complete the required number of songs to advance to a new venue, you'll be given an opportunity to play an encore. If you accept it (why anyone would refuse is beyond me, but at least the choice is there) the crowd will cheer, the venue will change in some entertaining way that's relevant to the song you're playing, and you'll get to rock one last time before heading backstage to violate some groupies. And look, I know it's just a game, but when the lights dim, the lighters come out, and the crowd chants "Freebird!" it's hard to not turn to an imaginary bass player and say, "Dude, I think they need one more; do you have it in you?"

Songs: The characters and venues are cool, and the graphics are nice, but we're not here to look at pretty things. We are here to rock, and the setlist in Guitar Hero II is as diverse and as fun to play as it was last time around. There are classic rock anthems like The Allman Brothers Band's Jessica, hard rock favorites like Rage Against the Machine's Killing in the Name of, and, yes, Freebird. But what really excited me was the inclusion of master tracks from Primus and Jane's Addiction. Apparently, those guys were Guitar Hero fans, and gave permission to use the actual recordings of John the Fisherman and Stop in Guitar Hero II, so when you're jamming along in the game, you're actually playing with Les Claypool or Dave Navarro. You should totally tape yourself playing and send it in as an audition. Next stop, Lollapalooza, baby!

The 24 bonus tracks are significantly better than the ones in Guitar Hero, and are worth your hard-earned cash this time (after you upgrade Judy Nails' costume, of course. Rrawr.) I really liked Jordan from Buckethead, Soy Bomb from Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer-Incentives, and Trogdor by Strongbad. Yes, that Trogdor and that Strongbad.

Mechanics: In Guitar Hero, the mechanics of playing hammer ons and pull offs was pretty confusing, and could be difficult, and frustrating. It's been changed for Guitar Hero II, and I think it's the game's single biggest improvement. You no longer need to hold down the lower note to successfully do a pull off, which is slightly less realistic, but a welcome change that improves the overall playing experience. They've also given you a little more time to hit the notes, making it much more forgiving, and easier to play those fret-burning solos on Hard and Expert. Man, I wish they'd retroactively apply this to Cowboys from Hell.

Play Modes:The multi-player modes give the game hours of additional gameplay long after you've beaten career mode, and make this a perfect party game. The face-off challenge from Guitar Hero returns, and lets players choose different difficulty levels this time. There is also a new pro-faceoff mode that lets both players play the entire song on the same difficulty to see who is the true Guitar Hero.

However, it's all about the brand new co-op play, where one player takes lead guitar, and the other takes bass or rhythm, depending on the song. Working together to make Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son or Rush's YYZ come to life (well, a reasonable facsimile of life, anyway,) is tremendously satisfying. You really feel like you've just played the real song for a real audience, and it's really fun. Really really. If you find yourself throwing the goat and spontaneously high-fiving your buddies when you complete a song, don't feel embarrassed; it just means you did it right. On the other hand, if you five-star Madhouse and decide to drive straight to Guitar Center to do it for real, it may be time to put the controller down and check back in with real life. (Though I hear they're having a sale on Boss effects and Takamine pedals in a few days, because it's a totally insane weekend blowout! that won't be repeated again until, uh, next weekend.)

Guitar Hero II also adds a practice mode, which allows you to pick out and work on one or more sections of a song that are kicking your ass. You can modify the speed that the notes come down at you, too, so you can practice some of the difficult fingering in songs like Psychobilly Freakout (oh, my arms ache just typing that title) and here's a nifty little bit of lateral thinking: if there's a solo you just love (I am crazy about the solo at the end of Can't You Hear Me Knockin') you can head to practice mode, pick it out, and serenade a lucky guy or girl with your crazy mad musical skills. Next stop: the pants party.

The Bottom Line: Guitar Hero II is more challenging than Guitar Hero, but not so difficult that experienced players can't three-star their way through Hard or five-star Medium on the first or second try. Expert, though, is insane, and it will make you cry. Before attempting Miserlou on Expert, I suggest working out your forearms, and doing some cardio warm-ups, as well. If you can get Dick Dale on the phone, you should probably go ahead and do that, too (and tell him I'm a big fan. KTHX.)

Like Aliens to Alien, or Debbie Does Dallas 2 to Debbie Does Dallas, they've built upon the existing foundation and turned in a nearly-perfect sequel to something that was already great. It is a fantastic improvement upon an already fantastic game, and my only complaint is the same one I had last time: I want more songs, and I want them now. And where are those pictures I ordered? Can someone get Bob on the phone?

Final Grade: A

Wil Wheaton really wanted to give Guitar Hero II an A+, but he grades on a curve, and wanted to leave something for Guitar Hero III to aspire to.