Wil Wheaton's Geek In Review: Han Shoots First

For a moment my brain was asleep and I read the "isn't" as "it's" and died a little bit inside. But yea, everything you said. Preach it.

Word brotha man. ...and i still play magic.

i only ever bothered to watch the new ones once... and i waited till they were on dvd

oh yes, i punched something.

Episodes I-III: Jarbari Jarbari Binko, midichlorians, and Jedi arguing trade disputes.
Episodes IV-VI: Slave Girl Leia, Death Stars, and Force-choking motherfuckers for their disturbing lack of faith.

Vote Palpatine in '08.

I'm paraphrasing but Lucas once said about the original trilogy something along the lines of "I'm painting my barn white, some people are telling me i should paint it green, but it's my barn and I want it to be white".

As much as i hate what he did to star wars, you can't argue with that really, what I really resent him most for is replacing original material like placing that hack that played Anakin in return of the jedi instead of Alec Guinness for example.

I too really tried to like the Phantom Menace, but it just felt like the people who put Scrappy Doo into the Scooby Doo show had won the day.

What pissed me off about the marathon was that they played the doctored versions of the original trilogy. When i was watching A New Hope, i replayed my tivo in slow motion when i thought that Greedo shot first. I go back and lo and behold he did. then all throughout the movie there were little snippets of CGI that at first glance looked a little off when compared to the rest of the film.

Episode I and II are the worst movies I have ever seen twice in the theater. I absolutely agree, Phantom Menace was garbage and there is no way I will ever watch that again. Attack of the Clones was half of a decent SFX movie. If you muted it and skipped the dialogue scenes, it might be enjoyable. III...well, Lego Star Wars did it better. No, really. (Okay, okay, it did all three movies better, but where I and II were tolerable 'cause the gameplay was fun and the silly Lego cutscenes were amusing, Episode III was downright exciting. Especially the battle over Coruscant, which was a hell of a rail shooter level, but was pretty much boring in the movie. And General Grievous is just this gigantic badass in Lego Star Wars, and pa-fucking-thetic in the movie. Chain-smoker, too, from the sound of it.)
I was actually surprised to find that for once I didn't find the SFX sequences much to talk about, but while the dialogue still sucked, Anakin was still a cardboard cutout, and there was no chemistry, the broad outlines of the story were compelling.

I highly recommend reading the Episode III novelization by Matthew Stover. He's a fine writer (I love Heroes Die and the sequel Blade of Tyshalle), and while he's still working with damaged goods, he manages to make it much more gripping, intelligent, and understandable. It really becomes tragic instead of just silly.

I haven't tried the first two novelizations, even though they're also written by...well, by quasi-decent writers (Brooks and Salvatore don't really move me to rapturous paeans, but they're okay. Brooks more so than Salvatore, I think. His Knight of the Word series really grabbed me (the endless Shannara series has its moments, but not as many). Salvatore I don't consider to have ever really excelled, but he's better than a lot of licensed fiction writers.). I just don't feel like there was nearly as much there to salvage.

Good article! I hope writing it was cathartic. Feel better?

Saw em all in theatres during their first runs going back to '77 with the first SW. The last three took some doing even if they did get better with each one. Of course that's not saying much as it would have been hard to make a worse movie than Phantom Menace.

ya, i can remember leaving menace with a new appreciation for the name, had nothing to do with what happens in the movie, to be sure. it was pretty amazing though, in one fell swoop, that movie killed star wars for me, for years. the only star wars i could tolerate after that crap, was the brilliant factor 5 gamecube games.... well, the flight parts of 3 atleast and two player rogue 2! i will forever be angry at darth mauls face, the pure look of shock, that obi could force jump over him, and totally take him by surprise....... *sigh*

I don't know. I liked them all. I will however freely admit that I find too much joy in all things Star Wars. I'm a geek for it to the point that I'd do anything to live in that reality. And I'd REALLY do anything to be force using someone in that reality. But yeah. That's just me.
Of course I had some issues with the movies, like why is Anakin so whiney. That just doesn't suit the bad ass that he was supposed to be. And why go with Count Dooku cuz fine actor or not.... just didn't buy the character at all. And of course, the main probblem that every should have with the new/old episodes.... Why the fuck did they kill Darth Maul? Could they not smell money enough with how straight up awesome that evil fucker was? Bah.

Yeah. Like em all.

What bothered me about the recent releases was that since they were trying to keep up with the times and placate today's more sensitized audience, these "episodes" actually came out looking too advanced and futuristic then the ones from 20 odd years ago that they were supposed to precede in the Star Wars series. It was like if some one found a couple tracks that Elvis did before he died that were thought to be lost and, instead of leaving them as is, added in electric drums and had Christina Aguillera and other popstars sing duets with the King thus making it appealling to a younger audience but ignoring, and thus disappointing, the older generations especially the ones who grew up listening to him.

Since I was born in 81, I never got a chance to see any of the SW movies on the big screen, until 1997 when Lucas released the Special Edition in theaters for a very short time (3 weeks each movie, iirc). Even though I hated the crap like Greedo shooting first, Luke screaming when falling down the exhaust chute in Cloud City, etc, I still enjoyed them immensely, got goosebumps when I heard the 20th Century Fox fanfare, and got teary eyed at the end of Empire. I even tolerated the fact that Lucas got rid of the one redeeming factor of the Ewoks - the yub yub song.

Two years later, I was looking forward to Phantom and was so severely disappointed. Attack of the Clones and Revenge didn't disappoint me as much, but that's mostly because I had majorly lowered expectations.

Even others in my life that aren't huge Star Wars fans as I am understand the fact that the original trilogy is so much better. My girlfriend's 6 year old sister recently watched Episodes 1, 2, 4, 5 and 6 with me, and in her playtime, her choice of characters was either Leia, if she was by herself, or R2-D2 for her, and C3PO for me when she wanted to play with me. If a 6 year old doesn't choose Padme, Jarjar, or Anakin for make-believe, Lucas did something wrong.

Wil, I think you've summed up a lot of the feelings I've had about the prequels for a long time. They <b>are</b> a major part of our culture, and for some of us, our childhood, and probably personality.

I say this with a clean conscience, with a SW calendar to my left, three LEGO TIE fighters and a LEGO X-Wing above my head, and at least 5 other LEGO original trilogy ships on the shelf above. Lucas may get my money, but he will only get my admiration for the original trilogy, not for the crapfest he put out 22 years later.

everyones gotta love some magic at a wait for star wars. i did it too

even though the movies sucked i couldnt help but wait in lines for them though. and i like to tell myself it wasnt just because hayden christensen is hot