360Gamer.com reports that a 36-year-old man recently assaulted a 15-year-old teen for the last copy of Gears of War.

And while the man sits awaiting arraignment, he must be pondering one thing: was the game really worth the charges of aggravated assault?

My answer: Absofuckinglutely.

So here are five reasons why Gears of War is worth assaulting a kid for.

1) Halo 3 isn't coming out anytime soon.

2) Curb stomping the enemy is fun (and novel).

3) There's more blood and gore in this game than you'll find with a dozen emo kids locked in a bathroom with a pack of razor blades.

4) Chainsaw bayonet. Enough said.

And finally,

5) With less than 2 million PS3s coming out by January, you'll have less chance to assault a kid for one of those.

Note: This commentary is meant for humor and to ultimately pronounce how rocking Gears of War is. The author, editor and publisher of this blog article is in no way advocating the assaulting of a kid for Gears of War. Just in case you couldn't tell.