So let me tell you, I've been sick as a cow for like a week (I imagine a cow can get pretty sick, I mean four stomaches? sheesh), and as addicted to geekery as I am being sick sucks. The glaring bright screens take a headache from 20 to 60 in seconds, and relocating to the couch away from my precious power-strips wasn't easy. While I probably could have remained in my room with my beloved power-strips the t.v. in the livingroom has like 1,000 channels, a DVR, and movies On Demand; which beats the hell out of the 19-inch Sylvania t.v. made by asian sweatshop babies in my room with basic cable. Sadly, the livingroom only has a single outlet within approachable range of the couch. Of course, my laptop had to have one of the two spots on the outlet so I could continue my porn viewing habbits undisturbed as I feverishly swapped out adaptors to charge my plethora of other devices after I'd drain the batteries. As my flu worsened, the battery situation got worse. I would recharge my PSP while playing my DS, while listening to my iPod, recharge my DS while playing my PSP. Recharge my cellphone while watching reruns of Law and Order and as my condition worsened, and days passed, soon the coffee table was laden with dead devices. Ok, well maybe I'm being a bit over dramatic, but seriously why do batteries suck so much?

I realize my situation could have easily been remedied by taking one of the power-strips from my desk into the livingroom, but I'm lazy (even more so when I'm sick). In this day and age of 6-lane freeways, children with cellphones, and fast-food pastrami burgers why are the batteries of the world so 1942? Yea, thats right I watched Saving Private Ryan while on the couch. P.S. Did you know Vin-Diesel is in that movie? He dies, it's great. Oh, and the pussy who cries when they find the first Private Ryan but with a different middle name is the guy who later became captain bad-ass in Firefly / Serenity. Weird uh?

As current laptop batteries explode, promises of fuel-cell batteries are like 10-years late and counting it is very hard to comprehend why the world of batteries is at such a stand still. It's not like there isn't a demand for better batteries, everyone and their Uncle's-friend's-cousin-who-knew-this-girl has dead-battery horror stories. Even more confusing, we get excited about things like the latest iPod having 20-hour battery lives. Meanwhile, my CD player from years ago use to get 36-40 hours of playback with two fricken double-A batteries (44-hours if I use Duracell -- trusted everywhere, especially in vibrators). Then again buying new batteries all the time sucked too.

I'm still coughing things up, but I've returned to my desk to plug in all my uselessly expensive crap which I should presumably sell to buy a better t.v. So while I wait for everything to recharge, how about sharing some of your own dead battery horror stories?

You get extra special points if they're as pathetic as mine. Huzzah.


When I went to take this picture my fricken camera's battery was dead. Argh.