Pluto Kicked Out of Planetary Clubhouse

As if a million nerds cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced, astronomers meeting in Prague this week voted to reclassify Pluto -- formerly our solar system's ninth planet -- as a "dwarf planet," removing Pluto from the already-exclusive Group of Nine Planets.The decision by the prestigious international group spells out the basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club.

For now, membership will be restricted to the eight "classical" planets in the solar system: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Much-maligned Pluto -- named for the God of the underworld -- doesn't make the grade under the new rules for a planet: "a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit."

Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's.The astronomers anticipated the inevitable nerd backlash, and attempted to head off any d20 riots with some crazy talk.Jocelyn Bell Burnell -- a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings in Prague -- urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.

"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella. Later, she hugged the doll as she stood at the dais.After affirming that Pluto was no longer a planet, the astronomers re-affirmed that Mickey was still a mouse. The meeting was adjourned before debate could begin on the appropriate classification for Goofy.

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