• news
  • THURSDAY AUGUST 24 2006 1:30 PM

Pluto Kicked Out of Planetary Clubhouse

As if a million nerds cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced, astronomers meeting in Prague this week voted to reclassify Pluto -- formerly our solar system's ninth planet -- as a "dwarf planet," removing Pluto from the already-exclusive Group of Nine Planets.

The decision by the prestigious international group spells out the basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club.

For now, membership will be restricted to the eight "classical" planets in the solar system: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Much-maligned Pluto -- named for the God of the underworld -- doesn't make the grade under the new rules for a planet: "a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit."

Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's.

The astronomers anticipated the inevitable nerd backlash, and attempted to head off any d20 riots with some crazy talk.

Jocelyn Bell Burnell -- a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings in Prague -- urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.

"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella. Later, she hugged the doll as she stood at the dais.

After affirming that Pluto was no longer a planet, the astronomers re-affirmed that Mickey was still a mouse. The meeting was adjourned before debate could begin on the appropriate classification for Goofy.

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Next

Comments
theseeman

theseeman

Asheville, NC
December 2002

AUG 26, 2006 03:57 PM

Uh oh. Looks like other Scientists are pissed too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5283956.stm

SoonerDog

SoonerDog

United Kingdom
July 2002

AUG 27, 2006 11:44 AM

Elenor said:
Now they're gonna have to come up with all new mnemonic devices



your wish is my command

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

AUG 27, 2006 11:49 AM

"oh no, pluto's out!"
people complain - but it's not
the end of the world.

MschfMayhemSoap

MschfMayhemSoap

Phoenix, AZ
April 2006

AUG 27, 2006 11:54 AM

MrCrisp said:
"oh no, pluto's out!"
people complain - but it's not
the end of the world.



Its the end of the world,
As we know it,
And I feel Fine! :

biggrin

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

AUG 27, 2006 12:01 PM

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine.... what? What?!

turin

turin

Denver, CO
October 2003

AUG 27, 2006 12:08 PM

maybe she served us nachos.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

AUG 27, 2006 12:14 PM

Mmm, nachos are delicious.

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos.

Okay, I guess that'll work.

turin

turin

Denver, CO
October 2003

AUG 27, 2006 12:42 PM

maybe I'm just hungry.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

AUG 27, 2006 04:46 PM

I just had a sandwich. I'd rather have nachos.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Next